Cris Carter is still on cocaine

That's the only reason I can explain his early season prognostications. Folks, this is a clear and classic example for all of us: most of the established sports media SUCK, and they do not know what they are talking about!

Just to give you a taste of Carter's drug induced idiocy, listen to these golden nuggets:

The Bears have no bite. There are a few teams you can label as being the league's most overrated, but I definitely have to go with the Chicago Bears.
He said that on Sept. 8th, before the season started. The Bears are now 4-0, have the best defense in football, and Rex Grossman has really grown into his own. If you watched the Bears at all last year, calling them over-rated proves to me that you are either:
  1. An idiot, or
  2. Taking serious illegal drugs
The Bears defense last year allowed 12 ppg. 12! They won 11 games with a rookie QB starting for them. Now, with their regular starter (Grossman) back, and a veteran back-up in place (Brian Greise), it didn't take much REAL analysis to assume the Bears would be good.

Want more from Carter? Read this, and enjoy:

Miami is the beast of the East. I'm not concerned about what happened Thursday night [when the Steelers hosed the Dolphins to start the season]. Who's going to go into Pittsburgh and win in that situation? The Steelers' defense is a bad matchup for a lot of teams. Look at what it did to Cincinnati and Indy's offenses in the playoffs and both of those teams' offenses have to be in the top five in the league.
Well, it's now week four. Cincy walked in the Steel City an destroyed Pittsburgh (1-3) in week 3 (I guess the Steelers defense wasn't such a "bad matchup" after all, Cris) and the Dolphins (1-3) just lost to the Houston Texans.

Now, to back off Carter a bit, I also expected Miami to play better. I expected a dog fight between them and New England, with Miami barely taking the East. I certainly did not expect them to be "beasts."

And the final Carter nugget:

This is Peyton's last hope for a ring.

The window of opportunity is starting to shrink with Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts because of the salary cap.

Look at the supporting cast. They have money tied up in Peyton, Reggie Wayne and Marvin Harrison, and now they have to get a deal done with Dwight Freeney. You can lock him up to only so much. And after him, you don't have a lot of room to maneuver. Given their poor stadium situation and the lack of revenue streams, the Colts are limited. Other teams have an advantage and Peyton will feel the effect of being on a small-market team.

Folks, we can all debate to the end of time whether team A's "window" is closing or not. However, one cannot debate the Colts' window is closed because of the salary cap. The Colts are not the Tennessee Titans, who mis-managed the cap so poorly it destroyed a once great franchise. The Colts sit in excellent salary cap situation because:
  1. They've locked up all their franchise players (save Freeney, who they will franchise if he doesn't sign a long-term deal), and
  2. Because they manage the cap so very well.
And not to bust Carter's bubble, but has he actually BEEN to Indianapolis lately? Hey Cris, next time you are there, take a look across the street from the RCA Dome. You might see something that looks a little like this:
Lucas Oil Stadium

Cris, the Colts broke ground on their NEW STADIUM, Lucas Oil Stadium, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in September 20, 2005. That's a year ago, Cris! So, if they are building a new stadium Cris, how can the Colts have "poor stadium situation" and a "lack of revenue streams?" A simple Wikipedia search would have told Cris about the Colts financial situation and their new stadium, saving him face.

Sadly, we at Stampede Blue must assume Cris is back snorting white dust up his nose, because only a crack-head would write something that stupid despite the facts that contradict it.

Folks, Cris Carter is paid very, very well to offer his "expert opinion." However, if you look close at his opinions, you will see they are those of a pathetic homer, not a real analyst. Carter played most of his career with the Minnesota Vikings, a division rival of the Bears. The last team he played for, a team he came out of retirement to play for, was the Dolphins (his "Beasts of the East"). So, instead of someone giving me, the reader, some insight based on experience, I'm getting the desperate ranting of a Vikings and Dolphins homer who doesn't actually REASEARCH his conclusions.

SB Nation Featured Video
X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Stampede Blue

You must be a member of Stampede Blue to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Stampede Blue. You should read them.

Join Stampede Blue

You must be a member of Stampede Blue to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Stampede Blue. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9341_tracker