The Patriots are just like the Nazis

by BigBlueShoe on Oct 30, 2007 2:45 PM EDT in Humor

Yes folks, the pro football team that resides in New England is just like the German National Socialist Party, aka the Nazis. When we Colts fans call the Patriots Nazis, by God we mean it! Not only do the Patriots lie, cheat, and steal in order to gain power (just like the Nazis) but they are willing to round up anyone and everyone who does not agree that Tom Brady is the Übermensch and scream at them with harsh language. Don't believe me? Tell a Patriots fan that Peyton Manning is the greatest QB of all time (or, tell a tongue-in-cheek joke that goes over their heads), and you'll get this kind of reaction:

Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein!

I'm sure you're all aware that, like the Nazis (who burned the Reichstag), the Patriots tried to burn down the Pro Football Hall of Fame when the league denied their request to induct Tom Brady into the HOF after Week Four of this season.

And the Patriots aren't like normal Nazis, I might add. The Patriots are like those super Nazis you fight in Castle Wolfenstein, or better: Wolfenstein 3D! You know the ones I mean, with flame throwers attached to their pelvises, grenade launchers on their boots, and fascist chicks running around with Uzis in skin tight leather with Swastikas! Those kind of Nazis:

Patriots football never looked so good.

Even Gillette Stadium kind of resembles Castle Wolfenstein.

My God, it's uncanny.

Next thing you know, we'll find out Bob Kraft is the leader of a secret Nazi cult trying to raise Heinrich Himmler, Herrmann Goering, and Steve Grogan from the dead so they can come into the game in the fourth quarter and pour it on the Colts even more. I DON'T CARE THAT GROGAN ISN'T DEAD YET! It's the Patriots. They can do anything!

They're Nazis. Super Nazis. Evil-Dead-Grenade-Totting-Super-Zombie Nazis. With cups and mouth pieces. There's no hope of stopping them unless Dungy can have one of his secret meetings with Jesus, where the Almighty will give Tony D the Spear of Destiny so that he may slay the vile serpent of the pit known as Beelzee-chick. That's the kind of game this is becoming, folks: Nazis, zombies, spears, ghosts, torture castles, Satan, and Jesus... all on a football field. Somebody invite Billy Graham.

Dear Jesus, tell us how to beat those evil, Nazi Patriots.

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Comments

lol

that's classic

"GO HORSE!"

by beester on Oct 30, 2007 2:54 PM EDT 0 recs

this game is..

this game is taking on a certain sense of unreality isn't it... what next peyton as luke skywalker and belicheat as the evil emperor with brady as his flunky darth vader????

by bluegirl on Oct 30, 2007 2:57 PM EDT 0 recs

hehe

Cue Patriots fan not understanding this is humor and a joke, and thinking you are REALLY TRULY ACTUALLY calling them Nazis in 3.... 2.... 1....

Charlie Weis Ate My Baby

by jdb on Oct 30, 2007 3:37 PM EDT 0 recs

Keep it on the field?

How the hell are we supposed to keep it on the field?

you mean the Colts fans have to play the Patriots fans?

by will on Oct 30, 2007 3:56 PM EDT 0 recs

keep it on the field

if you were 'keeping it on the field' you wouldn't be blogging, so that is a dumb comment..

by bluegirl on Oct 30, 2007 4:02 PM EDT 0 recs

that's rich...

A Patriots fan accusing ANYONE of being "self-righteous" takes the pot calling the kettle black to a previously unknown level.

Charlie Weis Ate My Baby

by jdb on Oct 30, 2007 4:05 PM EDT 0 recs

and...

The Grogan bit was hilarious. You have to admit that.

Charlie Weis Ate My Baby

by jdb on Oct 30, 2007 4:06 PM EDT 0 recs

Keep proving the point...

This guy sure thought it was funny, too.

by NotJohnHannah on Oct 30, 2007 5:46 PM EDT 0 recs

Charlie Weis Ate My Baby

Unbelievable timing on the 3 . . 2 . . 1 countdown. Classic.

As far as Patriot Nation - Me doth think the lady protest too much.

The Shogun of Harlem

by shonuff on Oct 30, 2007 9:53 PM EDT 0 recs

heh

yeah I knew it'd happen but damn. never expected it literally that quick. Guess I underestimated them.

Charlie Weis Ate My Baby

by jdb on Oct 30, 2007 11:12 PM EDT up 0 recs

Rob Corddry's Boston...

Ahh... thanks to the Daily Show, we can have a glimpse at what Boston life is like.

Video here, it won't embed... dagnabit.

And remember, Boston shut down because of a light brite of Aqua Teen Hunger Force...

In short... BOSTON SUCKS! :D

Go Colts!

by Marked Hoosier on Oct 30, 2007 11:42 PM EDT 0 recs

Why?

I realize that the whole Nazi Patriot thing was a joke, but it wasn't necessary. You called out a specific team and just blasted them out of the water using an analogy that caused many people death and suffering. You haven't done it with any other team this year and by doing it you just give the Patriots fans more examples about how Colts fans "whine". I'm completely for analyzing the game between these two AFC giants, but did you really have to take it so far?

by farris6659 on Oct 31, 2007 12:43 AM EDT 0 recs

My $.02

As a Jew, I've had the history of the Holocaust driven into my fragile little mind for as long as I can remember. The term "Nazi" has entered the popular lexicon in such a way that it's become interchangeable in terms of meaning with the term "Fascist". The difference is that if you call someone a Nazi, everyone knows what you're talking about. If you call them a Fascist, they just look at you and go "Huh?" I think you're going to be hard pressed to find someone that takes extreme exception to being called a Nazi, unless they either fought in WWII, have a number tattooed on their forearm, or are from Germany.

However, I will admit that I live in fear of Belichick announcing a "Final Solution" for the Colts.

It's called satire and sarcasm, people. Let's all take it easy on the self-righteous hyperbole. It's just a football game.

"Hey, if you want me to come here, I want to come here. But if you don't, I'm going to beat your butt for 15 years playing in the AFC." -Peyton Manning-

by MonkeyBusiness on Oct 31, 2007 12:53 AM EDT 0 recs

Nazi is over the top

But Let's not forget that the two flights that crashed into the World Trade Center towers took off from Logan Airport in Boston!

The following week the Patriots would play...the New York Jets!

Maybe Belichick is an islamofascist! Trying to destroy America by destroying the NFL? OMG! Where's my tinfoil hat?

by Zumone on Oct 31, 2007 1:20 AM EDT 0 recs

Blue ...

it's a little over the top. I hate the Patriots more than most, and I think the whole Nazi thing is a bit much.

by PaytonMenning on Oct 31, 2007 2:05 AM EDT 0 recs

really?

I mean really????

Go watch network TV, way worse on there fellas. Lighten up.

by Burt Doyle on Oct 31, 2007 6:39 AM EDT 0 recs

Zumone

I kid you not I know someone who actually really does think that because the planes took off from Logan that just proves (somehow) that Boston hates America. I just love "patriots" that just find ways to hate other Americans.
Let me just add that while BBS and I hate the Patriots we do actually enjoy the North East. That aside, the Colts are a better team and a classier team.

Viva La Freedom!

by MasterRWayne on Oct 31, 2007 9:13 AM EDT 0 recs

I actually

love the city of Boston. Lived there for a summer when I was in school; beautiful city, great culture, unparalleled (in this country) history -- all in all it has a lot to recommend it. It's just the cheating, jackass Patriots and their degenerate fans that I hate.

by ctnyc on Oct 31, 2007 9:56 AM EDT up 0 recs

No argument here

I'm actually a Buffalo Bills fan enjoying the show.

by Zumone on Oct 31, 2007 10:26 AM EDT up 0 recs

wait...

... is that YOU, Bill Belichick? Wow! I had no idea you read blogs, let alone a colts blog. And to make a promise about the game on one. I'm impressed.

we'll take out all our good guys before we embarrass you. Promise!

Oh. Wait. It's NOT anyone associated with the team so your little "promise" is just stupid?

Oh. My bad.

As for final score predictions I think there's a diary thread for that although I haven't gotten there yet.

Charlie Weis Ate My Baby

by jdb on Oct 31, 2007 4:49 PM EDT 0 recs

Cheaters Lie

We promise not to cheat

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

by Philosopher723 on Oct 31, 2007 5:21 PM EDT 0 recs

You know...

After beating the Pats three times in a row including the greatest playoff come back in NFL history, it should be the Colts that our the favorites. You know though, I like playing the role of underdog even when we are one of the best teams to ever play in this league.

by MasterRWayne on Oct 31, 2007 6:16 PM EDT 0 recs

Are

Meant to say are not "our."

by MasterRWayne on Oct 31, 2007 6:17 PM EDT 0 recs

Wait a minute

Do we really believe the Colts have what it takes beat the Patsies?

Hmmm. Let's see....How about the last three times we met? Yeah. I guess I do believe the Indianapolis Colts have what it takes beat the Patriots.

BTW, why are we talking like those Geico cavemen?

Check it to pancakes! Pancakes!

by Picky on Oct 31, 2007 6:17 PM EDT 0 recs

True PatsFan...

I will not be on the field, I promise. I don't think I have what it takes to play on a highschool football team.

I'll bet Bill Bellichek wouldn't spit on you if you were on fire, fan of his team or not. He probably won't let you make all of there decisions with his team either. And he's probably greatly concerned about the Colts, as he is about any team they face. Which is why they are good. They don't talk shit like their fans.

As a Colts fan, I respect the Patriots team. I know full well what they can do. And I know what the Colts can do. If you want a prediction, I predict 34-all with the winning team breathing a huge sigh of relief and the loser praying for December to get here for another go-around.

I feel zero respect for your drivel though. The smart pats fans know that Peyton Manning can strip a defense naked. The tricks last about a quarter, then he adjusts and puts it to you. He doesn't get discouraged, he doesn't start screwing up. He gets better as the game goes on. His no huddle tires out defenders that have to keep on edge all game because he holds them in their stance so long and they never know when he is going to snap it. He also messes with your substitutions making it hard to rotate your line in and out so the fat-bodies can take a breather. And a smart pats fan knows the Colts can pound the ball and wear out the opposition. The Pats haven't gotten a taste of that this year but we know what happens when they do.

The smart Pats fan knows that the Pats need to make their passing game work the whole game and they better not fall behind. They aren't going to run on the Colts. They aren't going to make the Randy Moss deep balls on the Colts. They are going to have to use the tight-end, slot passes and make them work all game. The Colts defense is a young, vicious bunch that doesn't get tired. The Colts offense is just as hard hitting as the Pats, except they run down the clock with the running backs instead of throwing touchdowns at the end of games.

Don't come here expecting anyone to worship an idiot pats fan. We are used to our team winning and we expect them to win this Sunday too. All you are, with nothing but bullshit to speil, is annoying.

by will on Oct 31, 2007 9:24 PM EDT 0 recs

very beatable?

Let's see.. they were coming off a road monday game and had to play a tough defensive team on the road (a road monday followed by road sunday being something that's only been scheduled in the NFL twice before. ever.) Even more, Carolina came off the bye and had two weeks to prepare.

After that first Carolina drive they essentially did nothing while the Colts' second half offensive adjustments allowed them to run away with the game.

Very beatable my ass.

Charlie Weis Ate My Baby

by jdb on Nov 1, 2007 11:30 AM EDT up 0 recs

Yeah

Well, if the Pats start out that way against the Colts, they'll lose.

Silly and stupid argument.

by DallyDrake on Nov 1, 2007 8:19 PM EDT up 0 recs

Well...

As the saying goes... "You're never as good as you look when you're winning, and never as bad as you look when you're losing."

I'm really happy for your margin of victory. Having an offense that can score points is great. Back in 2004, my first year for season tickets, I don't think i've had any more fun than watching countless TD passes and an offensive explosion. The truth is though, the team that can grind it out the most will win. Thats what happened to us in the playoffs, and thats what's going to happen to you guys.

You won't have enough time to launch a 60 yard bomb to Moss
If you do, he will be double covered, and we will pick it off. You have to admit, some of those passes should have been interceptions against any self-respecting secondary. You start throwing picks against Manning, and we'll make you pay every single time.
You have to score points. You haven't met a team yet that can match you offensively, but we can.
Welker is going to die. I read a column on SI.com that says he may be the best slot receiver ever. Ever??? He has 8 career TDs, 7 of which were this year. Welker won't have 10 seconds to run wild through our secondary. He'll be reduced to 5 yard hitches, and then Bob Sanders will come up and light him up. After a few times, he'll think twice about going over the middle.

by the21eraser on Nov 2, 2007 9:22 AM EDT up 0 recs

I'm a lifelong Patriots fan

And I thought that was hilarious! There's no reason for either side in this game to get bitter,
we both know that we're going to meet again in the AFC Championship game, it's just where it's gonna be played that's in doubt. May the best team
win!

by kemosabe on Nov 1, 2007 1:59 PM EDT 0 recs