Know Your Colts History: 11/30/07

A lot of people have done their own take on Bob Sanders facts and they've all been awesome.  With that said, I'd like to throw my own contributions into this growing source of information about Mr. Half-Man, Half-Missile:

Bob Sanders makes Wilt Chamberlain look like the 40 Year Old Virgin.

• Only one player could even come remotely close to Bob's ability on the field.  Because of this he granted him the honor of playing the same position as him and wear the same number.  What was his name?  Sean Taylor.
• When you re-arrange the letters of Bob Sanders name you find out what he told Tony Dungy separates him from everyone else in the NFL: "Badness Bro!"
• Why is Peyton's forehead so big?  Bob Sanders.
• After failing to mimic his actions in a game of Simon Says, Bob put a curse on the violator that gave him the opposite qualities of Bob on the field.  Gilbert Gardner was never the same.
• Bob Sanders once hit a wide receiver so hard that he turned into Ashley Lelie.
• Many people will tell you that Bob Sanders left Iowa after getting his degree, the truth is that he left after he learned that his hits were being reclassified as First Degree Aggrevated Assault by the Iowa state legislature (and by Iowa State University...wimps).
• Bob Sanders had his cake, and he ate it too.
• Some say pain is "weakness leaving the body", Bob says pain is "inevitable"
• Bob once one-upped the Trinity lateral play in high school by lateraling the ball twenty times, to himself.
• Bob's dreads are stronger and more durable than steel wire, making him the only player in the league that wears a helmet for the opposing team's protection.
• Marvin Harrison once caught a glimpse of Bob Sanders flexing his muscles, he hasn't said a word since.
• Bob once took a tree and tackled it repeatedly until it had ground down to a usable bat for his Little League game.  Historians in the woodcraft industry point to this as the first time anyone had ever done something like that with wood.  After some refinement to make it more practical for the masses, craftsmen called it "sanding" in honor of Bob Sanders.
• Before his first football game, the trainer asked what size cup he needed.  He replied "Super-size me!"
• Colts games are not aired in Japan out of the fear that viewers will think that Bob is a scarier, more destructive version of Godzilla.
• Bob Knows that Bo Knows.  Scarier yet, Bo Knows that Bob Knows that Bo Knows and this scares Bo because he knows that Bob Knows more than Bo Knows.
• Bob once hit Drew Bledsoe so hard that he turned into Drew Carey for three weeks.
• Bob Sanders pities Mr. T.
• A genie once asked for three wishes from Bob Sanders.
• Bob tackled the problem of inner city violence...for a 5 yard loss.
• Bob actually knows what happened at the end of The Sopranos.  He refuses to give away the ending but he did mention that we won't see Tony wearing a Jaguars hat any time soon.
• Bob's hits are so jarring that they make people heads shake in every direction, providing the inspiration behind "Bob"bleheads.
• The Punisher gets all his advice from Bob Sanders.
• When you type "Bob Sanders" into Google, you get approximately 611,000 hits.  When you type in "people who have been tackled by Bob Sanders" you get approximately 611,000,000 hits.  All by spear tackle.
• Herm Edwards plays to win the game.  Bob Sanders plays to kill.
• Bob doesn't crack jokes, he cracks ribs.
• No one's ever run the risk of finding out what Bob would do for a Klondike bar.
• Chuck Norris has a Bob Sanders poster in his room.
• When Bob drives on toll roads, the toll collectors pay him.
• Mistaking it for an errant pass, Bob once intercepted a missile and returned it for a touchdown.