Someone once told me, "Friends help you move; true friends help you move bodies." Jeff Saturday is apparently in the latter category . . . when he's not trying to shoot you from the woods.

According to a story in the New Castle Star Press, a New Castle man's neighbor called police and told them that the man had reported that Jeff Saturday, in uniform, was trying to shoot him from a wooded area near his house. The man also said, "Mr. Saturday asked if he could help him bury dead bodies."

The neighbor acknowledged that the man may have been hallucinating. The man hadn't slept in three days and also reported that "Saturday and the two other men had barged into his mobile home Thursday night demanding a 'favor.'"

Well, damn it. If it's the regular season, and Jeff Saturday asks for something, figment of your imagination or not, I say you just salute, say, "Yes sir, Mr. Saturday, sir," and give him what he wants.