FanPost

Bob Kravitz is an idiot

I know, that's like saying "The sky is blue" or "Randy Moss is an ass", but it has to be said. Again.

Why this time? his latest column entitled "A repeat? Sorry, folks, it won't happen"

Posting this here rather than CWAMB since this is so singularly Colts specific.

He spends half the column saying how it's not like the colts have a ton of problems, making snide comments about Manning/Dungy's busy offseason while at the same time saying it wasn't more busy than normal just more high profile (yes Bob, way to cover both sides of the debate there without actually saying anything)

But he really takes the cake here, falling into the Idiot NFL Prognosticator trap of OMGPatriots!!!111eleven!1

he New England Patriots.
You have to admire what they've done this offseason. Even if the Randy Moss acquisition was a little bit out of character for them, it's clearly a low-risk, high-reward move. The first time Moss goes Moss on them, he's out the door. Then you add linebacker Adalius Thomas, some new receivers, a kick return specialist I love, Wes Welker, and the Pats are loaded.

Calling the Moss acquisition "low risk, high reward" is just plain stupid. That's what everyone who has picked up Moss thinks. And every time, they are proven wrong.

And great, Adalius Thomas. Good pickup. but what about the rest of their aging LBers? What about the porous backfield that was torn up by the Colts in the second half of the playoff game? What about their problems on the line? Sorry Massholes and Kravit, the Patriots have questions on defense and pretending Adalius Thomas is the miracle cure is deluded at best.

The San Diego Chargers.
Let me tell you, the Colts coaches were absolutely overjoyed when the Pats took care of the Chargers. Not just because it meant playing the AFC title game at home or that it offered them another shot at their nemesis, but because it was generally believed the Chargers were the most dangerous and talented team in the league.

okay, I'll say what alot of people said about the Colts until last year: I'll be worried about the Chargers when they prove they can get it done in the playoffs.  yeah they are a great team on paper. Maybe the coaching change will fix their playoff woes. But I'll have to see it before I go all OMGCOLTSAREGONNALOOOOOOOOOOOSE

and finally their is the coup de grace of Kravit's vomit-on-paper analysis.

Let's face it: This team has more questions than the average Super Bowl champion.

but yet earlier in the column he said:

The Colts don't figure to suffer from some of the same ills that befell previous Super Bowl teams.

Okay that's just plain hackery right there. This is how I imagined the internal monologue in Kravitz's head when he got to the end of this column and wrote the 'let's face it' line

KRAVITZ: Hmmm okay I've got two reasons I say the Colts won't repeat. but two isn't a good number. Three is the magic number! I need a third reason.

[KRAVITZ SCRATCHES HIS HEAD AND GOES OFF FOR A MOMENT TO LOOK FOR THAT THREE DOLLAR BILL HE SWEARS HE HAD JUST A FEW MOMENTS AGO]

KRAVITZ: I know!! I'll go with that old standard of sportswriters "there are alot of questions facing the team!"

THE 1% OF KRAVITZ'S BRAIN THAT ACTUALLY IS NOT STUPID: Ummm Bob, didn't you just say that don't suffer the same ills of past Super Bowl champions?

KRAVITZ: shut up!! shut up shut up shut up!!!!

[KRAVITZ HITS HIMSELF OVER THE HEAD REPEATEDLY WITH A HAMMER UNTIL 1% SHUTS UP]

KRAVITZ: Ahhh. That's better.

[KRAVITZ FINISHES HIS COLUMN AND MAILS IT IN TO THE EDITORS IN A SCENE THAT ISN'T SYMBOLIC AT ALL]

yes Bob, there are questions. EVERY team has questions. if there was a team with no questions going into training camp, might as well hand them the Lombardi now. but there is not and never has been nor never will be.

Bob's questions for the colts:


  • Two new starting corners: As BBS has said many times here and many others have echoed, this isn't a very worrisome question. While Harper and David were both very solid corners, Harper was getting old. David was great at keeping people in front of him. but neither of them were very athletic or speedy. Kelvin Hayden and Marlin Jackson have both, and have proven themselves as quality corners when filling in the top CB spots at times.  I agree with BBS that the only question here is how much better the Colts corners will end up being by the end of the year.

  • new starter at linebacker: Are we really going to miss Cato "Ol' Rodeo Tackle" June at LB? This is another position that has the potential to be better than last year. just compare the tape of the regular season NE game with Freddy Keiaho with the Jacksonville game where Cato June whiffed on so many tackles the city of Jacksonville could have been powered during the game by the wind he created.

  • Will the defense be like the "one of the worst in history" as during last year's regular season or the dominant defense we saw during the playoffs? Okay, I can see that question but isn't that better addressed by looking at the positions (as above) rather than just sportswriter platitudes and overly generalized questions? Maybe that's just me.

  • Left Tackle: The only REAL worrisome question of the bunch, Bob. yes, this is an issue. But if you look of the history of the Colts OL the past 7 or 8 years, they have a history of being able to handle departures and coach up rookies to a very high level very quickly with the best OL coach in the game working for the Colts. it's still a concern, but a "No Way They Win the SB" concern? I won't go that far.

I'm not saying the opposite of Kravitz, that the Colts WILL repeat. But to say there is no way they will and back it up with such questionable reasoning (to put it nicely) is pretty damn dumb.

But this IS Kravitz we are talking about here so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Stampede Blue's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Stampede Blue's writers or editors.

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