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Around SBN: The Amateur Mathematics Of Linsanity

Stampede Blue Contest: Best Patriots Excuse!

The Patriots have until Friday to explain themselves to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell after they were caught using a video camera to capture the NY Jets signals on the sideline in New England's 38-14 thrashing of the Jets. Between now and Friday, Stampede Blue will have a contest to see which is the best excuse the Patriots will offer Roger Goodell! Please feel free to offer your own excuses in the comments. We'll vote on the best on Thursday. I've picked a few ones from some message boards and websites that are just down right hilarious. Enjoy:

Belichick Excuse #1: We know the Colts are about to repeat SB wins so we have to do anything we can to prevent that, rules be damned.

Belichick Excuse #2: Mr. Commish, what exactly is the definition of 'IS cheating'???

Belichick Excuse #3: I hired the cameraman to scout married women in the crowd for potential rendezvous.

Belichick Excuse #4: Somebody was blocking our camera with piped in crowd noise!

Belichick Excuse #5: It was Bledsoe's idea! Once we heard about it we got rid of him. That cameraman must not have gotten the memo.

Belichick Excuse #6: We were tired of Peyton Manning making all those commercials. So, we decided to make some of our own.

Belichick Excuse #7: I have a secret man crush on Eric Mangini, sir. That's why I threw that cameraman out of the way after the AFC playoff game. ONLY I CAN FILM MY MAN-GINA!

Belichick Excuse #8: I just like to watch, Mr. Goodell. I'll leave it at that.

Belichick Excuse #9: I apologize, Mr. Goodell. We will never again employ Stevie Wonder as our sideline cameraman again.

Belichick Excuse #10: I'm trying to get fired. If I retire next year without a 4th ring, Patriots fans will find me wherever I hide and beat me senseless. This is my only out. Did I mention that I have a dogfighting ring going as well? Oh, and I pimp my players' wives out on the side. Did I mention that as well?

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Evil Midnight Bomber
I'm hoping Belichick goes all Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight on the League:

"I-I-I just, uh, I just uh, wanted to use the uh, heh, ah-AND SO HE SAYS, EVIL'S OKAY IN MY BOOK, WHAT ABOUT YOURS? AND I GO YEAH BABY YEAH! YEAH! I... I... uh, just wanted to, uh, wash my hands."

or possibly:

"You'll never prove a thing copper, I'm just a part time electrician. I... I... I... BAD IS GOOD, BABY! DOWN WITH GOVERNMENT!"

by Masson on Sep 12, 2007 11:47 AM EDT reply actions  

asdf
+1000 points for a reference to The Tick!

by jdb on Sep 12, 2007 12:07 PM EDT up reply actions  

Miss Teen Billy B
Response:
I personally believe that NY Jets are unable to watch game tape, because they don't have video cameras.  So we as US Americans should give them footage, such as Indianapolis and the tuck rule, everywhere... such as... I believe our footage over here, should help the NY Jets should help the Texans and the AFC North.... Ding.... So we can beat them more better....

Ding.....  Thank you Bill

by Burt Doyle on Sep 12, 2007 4:57 PM EDT reply actions  

It's really Brady
Tom Brady needs that info so he can keep up with Peyton Manning.  He doesn't have time to watch tape and work hard these days being a dad and running around with super models.  C'mon and give the guy a break.

by Broadway Blue on Sep 12, 2007 5:43 PM EDT reply actions  

And another

It's like Christmas around here.

Please make an account and post a diary, add some comments, and make some noise. Accounts are free, and only require an email address.

by Brad Wells on Sep 13, 2007 9:50 AM EDT up reply actions  

Patriots Change Stadium Deal!!!
New England Patriots officials announce stadium rights deal with Gillette has been terminated.  Patiots eye new sponsors including Nikon, Sony and Canon.  Chris Berman stops calling the stadium the "the big razor" and now refers to it as the "wide angle lens".

by Broadway Blue on Sep 13, 2007 9:45 AM EDT reply actions  

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