Know Your Colts History: Bob Sanders Fined

by JakeTheSnake on Nov 8, 2008 10:39 AM EST in Humor Comment 25 comments

(Of course, you should know going in that this is all made up, but just in case you weren't sure, now you know that this isn't real. Now, let's get back to suspending disbelief.)

INDIANAPOLIS IN. — Bob Sanders was fined $15,000 by the NFL for a hit on Brandon Jones in a game against the Titans in 2006.

"That don't even make sense man. That happened almost two years ago, and it was a legal hit," said Sanders, who said he would appeal the fine.

Sanders was not penalized for his hit during the Colts' 20-17 loss against the Titans on December 3, 2006.

"It's ridiculous. You can't hit 'em high, you can't hit 'em low, and now apparently you can't even hit 'em in the past," Sanders said. "Maybe they'll fine me for thinking about who I'm planning on tackling next week." Sanders was fined for "making an especially mean-looking tackle."

According to Randall Liu, information manager for the National Football Conference, Sanders was fined because "I was doing a Google image search and I came across that photo and I thought to myself 'Boy, that looks pretty rough' so to be on the safe side, we decided to give him a fine, even though the hit happened a few years ago." He said Sanders’ actions violated Rule 12, Section 2, Article 12(2) of the N.F.L.’s official rules.

"It's kind of silly," Colts' coach Tony Dungy said Friday. "He wasn't flagged on the play and no one complained about the hit after the game, not even Brandon Jones. What's the big deal?"

When asked why all of his players were wearing flags during practice, Dungy replied "Troy was right."

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Don't worry guys

the Colts will still find way to get hurt in the non-contact era NFL. Marlin Jackson was ahead of the curve.

Shonn Greene for Heisman
140 yards per game
6.3 yards per carry
08 TDs per game > 06 GPA

by shake n bake on Nov 8, 2008 10:56 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

Sorgi

Did they fine the bus that injured Jim Sorgi’s knee in pre-season. Remember, he stepped off the bus, hurt his knee, and didn’t play against the Bills. I’m thinking, at least, a $15,000 fine for the bus carrier.

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by BigBlueShoe on Nov 8, 2008 10:59 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

Headlines tomorrow reads:

STAMPEDEBLUE.COM — A Blogger was fined an undisclosed amount today for critical comments made against the NFL and it’s policies on fining players.

“We need to make an example about how bloggers need to act,” said Gooddell in an interview, “His actions are detrimental to the NFL and how the public views us.”

“&^&$&$(&)(#$##$&&@&$@&&,” responded JakeTheSnake after he was carted away in a straight jacket.

In Other News

Roger Gooddell has fined every player in the league $15,000.00 for what he describes as “Preliminary action”. Even the punters and kickers have been fined, Adam Vinateri was quoted as saying “the only thing I hit is a football”. Soon after this comment Vinateri was fined another $15,000.00, league officials said this was because he hit the ball too hard during his game winning 52 yard field goal. Vinateri responded “what the &&%# , who the hell does this guy think he is. I will show him how hard I can kick a ball, you tell him that I can even kick two at a time and that I have been known to break balls *&&$#$ mother &#&#&&*. %&* this #&&*%, Gobble Gobble Gooddell I am gonna eat you for breakfast bitch.”

Manning was quoted as saying “Peyton Manning. $%&* Gooddell, I am the NFL I am Peyton Manning”. He then announced to the entire room “It’s on like Donkey Kong”. Gooddell then fined Peyton & Eli Manning a undisclosed amount. In response Daniel Snyder signed Venus & Serena Williams to the Active roster, so he too could announce “It’s on like Donkey Kong”. Once the contracts were official they too were both fined the enitre value of their contracts.

by canadiancolts on Nov 8, 2008 11:45 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Looks like our high school football game last night

Their 160 pound kicker thought he would land a big hit on our 230 pound returner. Nice to say that kicker got the old Darrell reid shoulder pad to the face. We were penalized for UNESSISARY ROUFNANCE, We started the old BULL SHIT chant.

by colts9318rock on Nov 8, 2008 11:46 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

Love the chant

Here are some classics,

Ref beats his wife! (this one is amazing if you get enough people going)
Ref touches his kids!
Ref get off your knees your blowing the game!
Hey ref bend over and show us your good eye!

Also this one work for hockey (not a chant, more of a statement)
Hey Iginla, skate on the refs throat! (sounds awful but you need to hear it in the heat of the moment)

by canadiancolts on Nov 8, 2008 1:23 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Some good ones

my HS wasn’t known for fan sportsmanship, so I’ve heard tons.

Elevator, Elevator, We got the shaft
Nuts and Bolts, Nut and Bolts, WE, GOT, SCREWED

my all time favorite from our fans (I wasn’t there, but for some reason the principal thought it was a good idea to tell the whole school about it in our WEEKLY sportsmanship reminders)
[other school from our conference] sucks, clap, clap, clapclapclap. Not creative except that wasn’t the team we were playing. They were on the other court playing at the same time.

The one I never got was in basketball when the other team had the ball our fan section would yell Dribble! with every dribble of the ball, Pass! on every pass and Shot! every shot. Every opposing teams possession would sound like Dribble, Dribble, Dribble… Pass… Pass!, SHOT!.

Shonn Greene for Heisman
140 yards per game
6.3 yards per carry
08 TDs per game > 06 GPA

by shake n bake on Nov 8, 2008 1:42 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

We Just Had

CARMEL SWALLOWS
CARMEL SWALLOWS

http://naptownsfinest.com

by Colts Homer on Nov 8, 2008 2:33 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

We also have the PUSSY chant on fair catches, we hold our hands like so <>

thumb to thumb pionter to pointer

by colts9318rock on Nov 8, 2008 2:39 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

My coaches were of the same opinion on fair catches

if you fair caught anything, even defenders were squared up to drill you, you were not returning any kicks for at least a few weeks. I’m very glad I was never a returner.

Shonn Greene for Heisman
140 yards per game
6.3 yards per carry
08 TDs per game > 06 GPA

by shake n bake on Nov 8, 2008 3:01 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

God, I miss playing freshman football

I played on the D line, I’m so under sized its not even funny. Our D line coach used to play for the colts back in the 84 and 85 seasons when the team first moved to indy. He was a god to us, his last name was smith and i believe his first name was ed. Look it up, he said in his 2 years of proffesional football he had 3.5 sacks. He taught us how to play dirty. Ex……throwing sand, punches in the gut, hitting under the face mask. Its only illegal when you get caught, lol.

by colts9318rock on Nov 8, 2008 3:12 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

How man do I remember

In my last year (You guys would call it senior year), I was playing centre. This one game there was a DT on the other team who wouldn’t shut his mouth he just kept on going. Awful player too, all he would do is grab on to you no move no nothing just hug you made my job easy, then I realized he had no arm. He had one of those fake arms on. Anyways he was talking trash about my gloves, I used to go and get dish gloves to use as gloves (they actually work really well and they are cheap not only that but come in many colours as to match the other team). So this one set of downs in the second half I finally told him to shut him hole because he was $hit. He got mad told me I was making fun of him for being handicaped, I said I would show him rather than tell him. Anyways maybe a couple plays later it was a long pass play and I was looking for him and found him about 10 yards back and a few yards over. So I stoped turned back and laid a mean shoulder into his chest, he had to be helped of the field.

It sounds silly but I miss getting hit and delivering hits! I loved the one on one drills they are all about effort.

by canadiancolts on Nov 8, 2008 4:00 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Micheal Oher/The Blindside has the best shutting up a trash talker story

Michael’s first test was not an official game but a preseason scrimmage at home at the start of his senior year, against a team from Munford, Tenn., 25 miles outside of Memphis.

From the first play of the game, the Munford defensive end who lined up directly across from Michael targeted him for special ridicule. The Munford player was about 6-foot-2 and couldn’t have weighed more than 220 pounds, and yet he wouldn’t shut up. Every play, he had something nasty to say.

Hey, fat a—, I’m a kill you!

Hey, fat a—! Fat people can’t play football! I’m a run your fat a— over!

The more he went on, the angrier Michael became, and yet no one noticed. The first quarter and a half of the scrimmage was uneventful – until the coach called a different sort of play.

The coach had called a running play, around the right end, away from Michael’s side. Michael’s job was simply to take the defender who had been jabbering at him and wall him off. Just keep him away from the ball carrier.

Instead, he had fired off the line of scrimmage and gotten fit – which is to say, gotten his hands inside the defender’s shoulder pads – and then lifted the Munford player off the ground.

So here were 19 football players running down one side of the field after the Briarcrest running back with the ball. On the other side of the field Briarcrest’s No. 74, Big Mike, was racing at full speed in the opposite direction, with a defensive end in his arms.

From his place on the sideline, Sean watched in amazement. It was a perfectly legal block, with unusual consequences. Big Mike drove the Munford player straight down the middle of the field for 15 yards, then took a hard left, toward the Munford sidelines. “The Munford kid’s feet were hitting the ground every four steps, like a cartoon character,” Sean says.

As the kid strained to get his feet back on the ground, Michael ran him the next 25 or so yards to the Munford bench. When he got there, he didn’t stop but piled right through it, knocking over the bench, several more Munford players and scattering the team. He didn’t skip a beat. Encircling the football field was a cinder track. He blocked the kid across the track and then across the grass on the other side of the cinder track. And kept going – right to the chain link fence on the far side of the grass.

Flags flew, grown men cursed and Sean called Michael over to the sidelines.

“Michael,” said Sean, “where were you taking him anyway?”

“I was gonna put him on the bus,” Michael said.

Parked on the other side of the chain-link fence was, in fact, the Munford team bus.

“The bus?” Sean asked.

“I got tired of him talking,” Michael said. “It was time for him to go home.”

Shonn Greene for Heisman
140 yards per game
6.3 yards per carry
08 TDs per game > 06 GPA

by shake n bake on Nov 8, 2008 4:26 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Goodell Will "Take Care of" Jake

for this blog.

Goodell sucks balls. I’m waiting for my fine, Roger.

http://naptownsfinest.com

by Colts Homer on Nov 8, 2008 12:32 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

i like how you put tuck's name in post

was that intentional or a freudian slip?

by VolsnCards5 on Nov 8, 2008 12:59 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

Freudian

D’oh! It’s been fixed.

Bullets Forever: A blog dedicated to the Washington Wizards with analysis, commentary, and more YouTube videos than your eyes can handle.

by JakeTheSnake on Nov 8, 2008 4:13 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

It should get overturned

This will most likely be overturned. It’s a bit ridiculus. Otherwise, why not go back and fine Butkus for violations of todays rules? Maybe the NFL put all of its money into banking stocks and is desperate.

by SeattleColt on Nov 8, 2008 1:24 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

This is absolute bullsh*t

Goodell has really lost his mind. he obviously approved this fine. I don’t care that’s it Bob Sanders on Brandon Jones. Let them play the fucking game and leave the past alone!

Herr Fuhrer Roger Goodell has once again abused his power.

by BeansCarter on Nov 8, 2008 5:29 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

Its already becoming one..

I’m tired of defending football from rugby fans saying only chicks play with pads cause they don’t obviously see the nuances of hits in football vs rugby. What are they going to make this an offense-only game? Goodell is crazy to want to soften a game like football. I agree with the horse-collar tackle etc. as it does some serious damage, but to say oh this is too rough, is crazy and is making it the laughing stock of the rough game world.
We need something like “blood-replacement” in rugby where you really need to see “blood” to get replaced and instead we see fat asses (Lendale White anybody) sucking in bottled oxygen after they’ve run half the field.

"Winning is not everything;the desire to win is" - Vince Lombardi

by rangerover76 on Nov 8, 2008 7:10 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

easy big dog

Lendale has a glandular disorder.

At least it hasn’t prevented him from leading the NFL in touchdowns.

by BeansCarter on Nov 8, 2008 8:46 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

That'll happen when you get 18 carries

inside the opposing teams’ 6 yard line. LenDale rides the coattails of the rest of the Titans O.

Shonn Greene for Heisman
137 yards per game
6.1 yards per carry
08 TDs per game > 06 GPA

by shake n bake on Nov 8, 2008 9:14 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Maybe...

But what nice coattails to ride…

by BeansCarter on Nov 9, 2008 12:32 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Titans are legit, D is excellent

the offense gets enough done, just usually not by any real work by Lendale. I loved Chris Johnson predraft and he’s been everything I thought he could be. Collins has been the “game manager” that the Titans needed and VY couldn’t be, Bo and Alge have been good targets for him and the WRs have been as much as you can expect from a bunch of nobodies.

The Titans have earned some real respect, but Lendale hasn’t. He’s still a fat blob who is wasting his talent because he can’t keep himself at a reasonable weight. He has talent, the long runs he has prove it. He can see where he’s suppose to go. If he wasn’t such a fat shit he could get there more often.

Obviously I think the Colts have an outside shot at the AFC South and that if they got healthy and clicking they could take down the Titans, but the Tenn is good. No denying that.

Shonn Greene for Heisman
137 yards per game
6.1 yards per carry
08 TDs per game > 06 GPA

by shake n bake on Nov 9, 2008 2:27 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs

OK

I’ll accept that. The guy could get into better shape. Hopefully one day he figures it out.

At the same time, on 4th and 1, he’s automatic. Not many backs can punch it in at short range with the same likelihood of success as Lendale. We don’t need Lendale to be like Chris, we just need him to pound the short runs.

The Colts don’t really have a shot at the AFC South. If we went .500 for the rest of the season and the Colts went 7-1, we’d still win the division. You need to hope for a wildcard berth, which is doable, since only three teams not leading their divisions have a better record in the AFC.

Keep your sights on the Patriots, Jets, and Ravens. Forget about us, we’re out of reach.

by BeansCarter on Nov 9, 2008 8:21 AM EST reply actions 0 recs