I once had a dream.

A dream of living in a world where things were good for mankind: everyone could afford to buy a house, neighbors respected and cared for one another, there was little crime and common sense and logic prevailed.  Yes, people generally would be alive and happy. And ofcourse, you could punch idiots in the forehead whenever they say something so stupid that it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Oh what a dream.

And then I wake up to a nice dose of reality and realize that homers like Bill Simmons are alive and well and are pleased to say whatever they want, actually are paid large sums of money - i might add, to say whatever they want. No matter how stupid, outlandish, far fetched or just plain ridiculous.

Now I have always been a fan of Simmons, his book on the Bo Sox is great reading for any baseball fan, really any die hard sports fan and (most of the time) i love his column in the Mag. I was even starting to like him a bit more when he was giving Peyton some props this year. 

But then today i was online at work and was reading his mostly funny ramblings about week 14, but then i found it ... his prediction for the Bengals at Colts game. I am suprised this little chicken nugget of stupidity has not been highlighted yet, but without further ado, here it is ....    

Bengals (+13.5) over COLTS
Some things to consider with the Colts...

1. I would rather have my fantasy team killed instantly by Tom Brady's knee injury then killed slowly over the course of 13 weeks by Joe Addai and Reggie Wayne. I don't like to suffer.

2. If you noticed how the Cleveland Cromeos defended Manning last week, they stacked the line of scrimmage, pressured him and dared him to throw deep ... and he couldn't do it. Not a good sign for the Colts' playoff hopes. Even if they're the luckiest football team in the history of the planet.

3. Which reminds me, the Colts are five plays away from potentially being 3-9: Tarvaris Jackson's second dumb turnover in Week 2; Sage Rosenfels trying to leap two guys for a first down in Week 5; Dave Thomas' stupid late hit in Week 9; Marvin Harrison's fourth-down catch in San Diego (Week 10); and Derek Anderson fumbling away the lead (and the game) in Week 12. If those five plays had gone the other way, the Colts would be 3-9. I watched all five of those games and say that with complete certainty. So there.

Ok, ok ... so Mr. Bill "I'm going with the 1 win team to beat the Colts at home, who have actually won 5 games in a row" Simmons might have some words of truth with his first thing on the Colts ... However, last time i checked fantasy stats don't determine the outcome of the game ... and no matter how Addai or Wayne are playing, this team is still winning football games .... SO ... this point has absolute no bearing or relativism at all in choosing the Bengals to win ...

And then meander on to point number two ... and well ... it starts to make at least about .0278 % sense ... and then he talks about the Colts playoff hopes - and then calls the Colts "The luckiest football team in the history of the planet" ....

Umm .... well .... I don't even know what this means !!!!

We have a great quarterback who makes plays when we most need it, two DE's who come up with huge plays, a greatly improved special teams and a number of players who step up and make plays when the game is on the line. Not to mention simply one of the best teams in all of the NFL the past  several seasons ... or five or six.

But apparently if you live in New England and have homo erotic dreams about Tom Brady, would defend Spygate to the point of public execution, collect bottles of David Ortiz's sweat and locks of hair from Dustin Pedroia's oddly balding head and privately stalk Paul Pierce in the wee hours of the night ... this is all just luck.

So i guess having a great team with great coaching and ownership is all just luck.

And apparently when you're team starts to slip some you are supposed to throw in the towel.  And to have a team that sticks together, fights to the end and pulls out some gutsy, heart wrenching wins in the final minutes of a game ... well, i guess that's just having the luckiest team in football.

I won't even go on to point # 3 because it's evident ...

Bill Simmons is a true homer ... and he is alive and well