Sure things in life: Death, taxes, and stupid comments from Jaguars.com's Vic Ketchman
by Brad Wells on Oct 14, 2009 12:00 PM EDT
in Humor
Email
Print
Image genius courtesy of colts9318rock
My friend John Oehser always has genuinely nice things to say about Vic Ketchman, who has about the same job at Jaguars.com that John had at Colts.com. I'm sure Vic is a nice guy, and I'm sure he is very good at his job. Maybe, some day, Vic and I can grab a beer, sit down on a couple of comfy bar stools, and make fun of each other in a jovial, easy-going manner.
However, until that day, I must do what every honest, passionate Colts fans always does during an NFL regular season: Make fun of Vic Ketchman's stupid comments at Jaguars.com.
In his most recent Power Rankings article, Vic ranked the Florida Gators the #1 team in the NFL.
Yes, you read that correctly. It wasn't a typo on Vic's part. It wasn't a logo screw-up or a webmaster getting the College Top-25 mixed up with pro football's team rankings. This was Vic being "cute" with his writing, somehow suggesting a team of boys under the age of 21 are better than any team in the NFL comprised mostly of 30 year old men.
Even Vic's comment line on ranking Florida #1 in the NFL is humorous, in a sort of sad "Awwwww, it's he just a silly-willy" kind of way.
Gators win with defense.
In other news, Peyton Manning set an NFL record yesterday, throwing 15 touchdown passes in one game against the Vic Ketchman #1 ranked Flordia Gators "defense." Also during the game, Tim Tebow was rushed off the field for emergency surgery after Colts safety Bob Sanders hit him so hard his jock strap shot up into his throat. Early reports say Tebow is fine and resting comfortably with Florida coach Urban Meyer by his side, personally changing his bed pan on a regular basis.
Seriously folks, the Jaguars are so bad right now, Vic cannot even promote them on their own site. He's got to promote the University of Florida to get people's attention. Cue dumpster fire pic:
Anyway, no Vic Ketchman article, no matter how large or stupid, is complete without Vic taking an unnecessary and childish shot at the Colts. It's like having a root beer float, but without the root beer. It's Jimmy Johnson, but without the hair gell. It's Joe Buck, sans douche.
In his (hehehe, I'm sorry, I laugh every time I think of this next word in association with Vic Ketchman) "rankings," Vic has the Giants, Saints, and Vikings ahead of the Colts, who are the highest ranked AFC team on his board. The Saints are 4-0, and did not play this past week. So, ranking them ahead of the 5-0 Colts seems a little, well, stupid. But hey, I can let that go. Both NY and Minny are 5-0 as well. No problem seeing them ranked ahead.
What I find humorous is Vic's comment line next to his #5 ranking of Indy:
Why were they passing late in the game?
Oh! Oh! I know why, Vic! I know!
It's because the Colts like to run up the score on crappy teams, padding the stat line so they can get their Pro Bowl bids in early because all the Colts care about is padding stats, disrespecting opponents, and looking "cool" rather than winning. I mean, everyone knows just how classless and crass the Colts organization is, from Peyton Manning to Bob Sanders to quarterbacks coach Frank Reich to the hotdog vendor named Sal who stiffs Jags fans at Colts games by charging an extra 50 cents for mustard. (OK, the last part was full of it, but so is Vic Ketchman).
Did I get that right, Vic?
Ahhhhh Vic. It's always fun to take your hopeless fan drivel, turn it upside down, and wedgie it to death. Maybe, one day, you'll come up with some new material I can pick apart and slice up, like the Seahawks did to the Jaguars "defense" this past Sunday. Maybe one day, Vic won't use the same tired talking points that were old three years ago.
Until then, we will continue to enjoy the comic genius at Jaguars.com known as Vic Ketchman. Oh, and yes Vic, the first beer's on me.
[Editor's Note: At 2-3, the Jaguars are certainly not "bad," but after a 41-0 Jags loss to the Seahawks and a Colts 31-9 blowout over the Titans, you'd think Vic would have a little more tact in his article. Thankfully for us, he didn't.]
28 comments
|
0 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
...and Keith Richards
"If you don't [draft me], I promise you I'll come back and kick your ass for the next 15 years."
Alabama is better than Florida anyway, imho.
Not that this has anything to do with this post.
Vic’s a tool.
"I throw, you catch. It's NOT that hard!"
Peyton Manning, SNL, 2007
by peytonsthebest on Oct 14, 2009 12:14 PM EDT reply actions
Uh...
No they aren’t.
The funniest thing about this thread, besides the peytonsthebest’s quote, is the altered Jaguars logo! Love it!
by IBelieve1237 on Oct 14, 2009 12:58 PM EDT up reply actions
Agreed
Bama>>>>Florida
"Brett Favre was a man who thought he was retired, but he knew it wouldn't last."
Because!
Why were they passing late in the game?
Well, maybe it’s because the Colts more than anybody else knows just how unsafe a three touchdown lead is. Yeah, I know the Jags aren’t the Colts, but the principle of putting your opponent away still applies.
That’s why.
Another reason
is that points scored is one of the tie-breakers to determine playoff seeding should final record and head-to-head record be tied. As much as people call it running up the score, it is a valid reason to keep trying to put points on the board.
How can you not love a team that does this?
That talking point isn't old, really
Didn’t the Pats breathe new life into it as recently as 2007? (“breathe new life”… “ressurect it from the dead”… six of one/half dozen of the other…)
Vic was apparently the only person on the planet who felt that way, BTW. Surely when 18 threw into the EZ against Detroit (IIRC) when already up by 28 with one minute to go, Dungy took heat until he explained it. (Essentially, you’re disrespecting us by calling timeouts with a minute left as if it matters, then we will show you disrespect in kind. It was a big deal, it was explained, and then went away. I thought it surprisingly classless at the time until I heard the explanation.) I didn’t hear Fisher or the Titans D complain. Maybe Tom Brady asked for a flag to be thrown somewhere because of it.
And that dumpster fire pic… is that from the WTO protests in Seattle about 6 years back? Looks strangely familiar. Because there’s not better way to make your point and persuade others to agree with you than lighting a dumpster on fire.
I hate Joe Namath. That's how long I've been a Colts fan.
On another site (not a blog) that I frequent, I and several other Colts fans got into a three hour scrum over the idea that we were running up the score.
The attackers weren’t even Titans fans. The best part? they were claiming that we shouldn’t have been passing the ball anymore when the score got to 21-9 ’cause there was NO WAY that the Tits would be able to come back. My response? We were up 12 to a division rival ON THE ROAD.
by vintagephoenix on Oct 14, 2009 1:38 PM EDT up reply actions
In defense of Vic...
he put the Gators in the power ranking list because he was just having fun with it. He keeps getting letters from people arguing that Jacksonville is a college, not a pro football town. He argues with them, and the list is part of just having some fun.
He is a sarcastic guy, and sometimes it goes over people’s heads (looking at you BBS.)
I like his writing, and he is honest with his opinion. Well it seems to me he is. Sure he is critical of the Colts, but hey maybe what rubs us wrong is sometimes he is right.
Go Colts!
They weren't passing to score
They were passing to get first downs. I don’t see how throwing a short, easy completion is different than running it late in the game. It’s not like they were throwing deep or anything.
"Brett Favre was a man who thought he was retired, but he knew it wouldn't last."
Funny....
I knew you would say that!!!
"If me and King Kong went into an alley, only one of us would come out. And it wouldn't be the monkey."
"I don't really trust a sane person."
"I never met a man I didn't want to fight." The one and only Lyle Alzado
BOOOOOOOO!
"I throw, you catch. It's NOT that hard!"
Peyton Manning, SNL, 2007
by peytonsthebest on Oct 14, 2009 2:00 PM EDT up reply actions
You know, Vic could be dissing Florida.
In his most recent Power Rankings article, Vic ranked the Florida Gators the #1 team in the NFL
I mean, that can also be taken to mean that the Gators are paid athletes, thus ripping on the team and university. I don’t know, you guys’d have to tell me if Vic’s got that kind of sense of humor or not.
The FLorida comment
is more of him poking fun at the florida fans than him being serious.
His ‘why are they passing late’ was a poke at Manning and the Colts fans that are reading his column. He’s a douchebag and I get tired of his ‘LOL LIFE ISNT A VIDEO GAME HOMOS’ comments, but I think in the FLorida case, he’s just trying to be witty.
Florida is a great team. I do like me some Tim Tebow.
He’s a beast on the field.
I wish someone would explain the Joe Buck reference, I’m uninformed.
As to Peyton passing late in the game, I’ll quote Herman Edwards:
YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME!
"You can't defend the perfect throw, what can I say?" Peyton quoting Marino
Cause there was no way in the world...
He was just wondering about the running game, or maintaining the tempo all season, or one of many other reasons why people wonder about teams passing late in the game when the win is locked up.
I’ve been reading Vic for a long, long time, and I’ve heard him say some things that are legitimately worth getting up in arms about (i.e. pumped in crowd noise). This particular set of power rankings isn’t worth the rancor.
The Gator thing is a shot at all the UF folks who complain that the Jaguars don’t have enough Gators on the roster. Again, there’s a zero percent chance that Vic actually thinks the Gators are better than the Colts or anyone else in the league.
Let’s call it what it is, the real problem that ya’ll have with the power rankings is that the Colts are behind a few teams. Had the Colts sat on top with the same “why are they passing late” comment, this article wouldn’t exist.
Big Cat Country!:: The Official Home of the Unofficial Blog of the Jacksonville Jaguars!
by River City Rage on Oct 14, 2009 6:42 PM EDT reply actions
unless you live here you will never understand the homerism of these people called florida fans. the jags have very few fans. what few they have they are mostly hee haw gator fans who think the jags are actually the gators farm team who because they are gator fans they think they will end up in the championship game crap or not crap. we have been commenting on this homer power rankings for weeks and its a big joke outside of the gator circle that is JAX. before the seattle game the fans were talking winning the division because they beat hapless tennessee. yes they were. and yes they truely think their cheating to get into the final game year after year that the gators are superior to any team pro or college. when tebow started crying after losing to ole miss…then a laughingstock team, they had to make a speech of the crybaby cemented in stone on the swamp stadium walls. vic or ask vick OR ass vicky as we call him is as homeristic as any gator fan out there. he wrote his his little game blog…rasheen mathis is as good as any dback in football. he is probowl worthy every year and then he went on to get burned for about 5 plays in a row. I actually love that he puts the gators no.1 because he is a HUGE jinx. after ever spanking of the bedazzlers the blog mysteriously has technically difficulties. Im waiting for florida to lose to a cupcake full of cupcakes on their schedule and then he mysteriously vanishes and never explains his ignoring of that ditty. the fact that two weeks ago he had the colts at 15. then his homer self still had them in the bottom ten and then this week still has them as low as 5. yes the gators d against the colts o. or against the giants. or the ravens. hell against detroit. the laughing stock of tim tebow is god and their redneck gator football team. if you are in this city for even 5 minutes you know what Im talking aboout. when they lose a game its what game and they disappear like they are in a cave. when the teblow era ends its going to be quite a funeral atmosphere here all the while the rest of the nation is celebrating for not having to listening to the savior and his angelic self
the jags fans. they are so in denial. they still think this team will be in jax in the next 5 years. not on your life. the second wayne weaver gets a buyer hes OUT OF HERE. when you cant even get 40,000 to a pro football game but if it were the gators they would get meemaw and peepaw from their death bed to attend. they can easily fill the same stadium with the biggest COCKtail party in the world twice the size
this joke rankings has been a topic of laughter for weeks. I cant wait when florida loses and if they only move down two spots or lets say if the colts go undefeated if he moves them in the top 3. nahhhhh hes a homer
What is wrong Kinnick?
Tired of the Big 10 always falling short?
Oh, and your WW comment has not validity. You really do lack any real logic when you post.
And Vic has most of you right in the palm of his hands. Suckers!
The greatest accomplishment is not in never falling, but in rising again after you fall.
Vince Lombardi
by Brian Fullford on Oct 19, 2009 2:01 PM EDT up reply actions
Out of curiosity
I read that guy’s column once or twice. He’s a complete idiot. I guess that comes from staring at empty seats.
I wish...
We had a guy doing what Vic does on that site. I read it just because of that. And Vic isn’t a homer. When his employer’s team is bad, he says so. He’s a smart-ass, and since he picks what questions to respond to, there is no reason to respond to the questions that deserve smart-ass answers. He knows football, though I often disagree with his assesments. I just wish the Colts had a guy that worked in their building that answered questions daily, live-blogged the games, and didn’t restrict themselves to feel-good articles like the Colts.com does.
Here’s to hoping the Jags cut him and the Colts pick him up!
Hit em with your groin!
by KingRichard on Oct 14, 2009 11:15 PM EDT up reply actions
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
Certain photos copyright © 2012 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
