Random Musings Of The King Week 8

Welcome back suckers, to yet another edition of this pile that are my random thoughts.  After the success (or failure depending on how you look at things) of the first go around I began contemplating whether I should continue to spill my guts and make this an ongoing series.  I think too many of you are starting to see the inner workings of my brain and will use it against me in some fashion, kind of like the Jedi Mind Trick, except less awesome.

In today's edition we'll cover the Colts win (or near loss, again depending on how you look at things) against the raggin' 49ers, Peyton Manning's epic failure, a couple winless teams who finally decided to get with the program and play like they've got a pair, and much much more.  So stick around for the the jump (or not).

First up: The Colts' Win

So the Colts are 7-0 to start the season for the 100th time, excuse me while I yawn.  Some people out in the media world don't seem too impressed, claiming that the Colts "eeked out a win" or some such nonsense.  Say what you will but I was quite impressed with the win yesterday.  Before I get into that I want to comment on one thing real fast.  What's wrong with Peyton?  How do you reel off so many awesome games and then lay that turd against the Forty-Freakin-Niners?  Reggie was WIDE OPEN!  So was Garcon!  Get your head out of your ass PEYPEY and start threading that needle again before everyone starts rumors that Irsay wants to see what Sorgi's got in him ala Vince Young in Tennessee.

Anyways, the running game was non-existent yet again.  Addai's stat line looked something like:

bunch of runs, horrible ypc average, hardly any yards, no tds

Y'know, the norm.

The passing game was shoddy at best as well.  There were too many out-of-sync plays that were reminiscent of last season for my liking.  Many Tylenol were consumed throughout the course of this game.

Week 8 game ball: Dwight Freeney.  Sure you could argue that Addai's donkeypunching TD pass was game ball worthy, but the fact that he still sucks at running the ball killed him in the end.  However, when you tie a franchise record you will always get major kudos from me no matter how awesome or pointless it is. 

What I I find amazing is that Mathis was the original record holder and no one even knew it.  Like, I knew because I know everything, but i'd be willing to bet most Colts fans and 99.9% of fans around the league would have never guessed Robert Mathis held some record over Freeney's head like that.  I don't mean that in a taunting, HA HA U TINK YER DA BEST BUT I GOTCHER NUMBA BOYEEEE!, kind of way.  It just goes to show you how good BOTH of those guys are.  Congratulations Freeney!

Week 8 goat: Adam Vinatieri.  Yes, it's a crazy pick I know, but hear me out.  Obviously Vinatieri didn't play, but he was totally shown up by someone who is even older than he is, who also went an entire game without missing chip-shot field goals.  Maybe we should consider keeping this Stover fellar around eh?

The one encouraging note from this win, aside from getting a win: This team showing the desire to win and not just go through the motions and hope everything works out in their favor.  What I mean is, the call Peyton or whoever the hell made to run that halfback pass took some real balls, and I like balls.  The Colts could have easily pussed out and just settled for the field goal.  But I say no!  %#$@ a bunch of that.  GO FOR THE JUGULAR!  I mean, if I was in that huddle and someone had said, "I think we should just play it conservatively and we'll get the 3 points and move on" I would have judo chopped them in the ACL, even Peyton Manning if if came to that.  NO, you don't "play it safe," you go for the killing strike!  THIS IS FOOTBALL!  YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME!  And win the game they did.  Mad props from the King.

The discouraging note from this win: Where were the other running backs?  Where was Mike Hart?  Are we ever going to see this guy play again or what?  Brown was out because of his shoulder injury, so the Colts thought it was a good idea to let Addai shoulder the load?  Seriously?  I just realized there are a lot of questions in this paragraph, I wonder why that is?  Let's see how long I can continue to ask questions.

?

Damn.

Update on Gonzo WEOTCH!: Um, we have no further news to report at this time.

Seriously, what gives?  This is yet another display of the Colts and their shady injury reporting.  They initially said Gonzo would be out from 2 to 6 weeks (GEE THATS A BIG GAP THERE DUDES), and it's been what?  7 weeks already and the guy hasn't even hit the practice field?  Wow.  This has Marvin Harrison 2007 written all over it.

What really chaps my ass is how the Colts FO treats this like it's top secret information and we have no clue what's going on.  Um, excuse me, could you throw me a freakin bone here please?  Anyone?  Bah.  Is that goofy tent not working anymore or what?  I knew that was all just some scam.


Will someone get the 49ers some cranberry juice for the love of god!

Listen, I don't know if those losers were faking  those cramps or not and I don't really care.  What I do know is they were owned my Joseph Addai...'s...arm.  HA! ha hahahahaahhaha.


The Cardinals laid down the sucketh against the hapless Panthers.

Teehee.  It's fun being right.  So much for that excellent run defense eh Cardinals?  DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart make you look stupid.

 

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Mandatory page break.

 

We've survived Favregeddon!  Horaaay!

You have to admit that you are impressed with how well Favre is playing.  It's obvious that he can still play pretty good when he's motivated enough.  I just can't help but wonder how the Packers and their fans are feeling right now.  Your former god just spanked your ass twice in a matter of weeks all because the Packers FO told him to FO.  Yeouch.  I still have faith in Rodgers though, just not his sieve of an o-line.  Can a brother get some pass protection up in this piece?

Speaking of the Vikings, can you say Percy Harvin for Rookie of the Year?  The Vikings are seriously loaded with some badass talent.  It's pretty cool to see yet another Florida Gator kick some tail in the pros.  At times I wish the Colts had a chance to draft him but I know the Colts wouldn't have used him the same way the Vikings do.

FAVRE.  FAVRE DOLLAR.  FAVRE DOLLAR FOOTLONG.


I don't blame Jamal Lewis for wanting out of that cesspool.

If you hadn't heard, Jamal Lewis said he's retiring after this season.  When was the last time you heard a player say he's going to retire at the age of 31 midway through a season.  That's how bad it sucks to be a member of the Browns organization.  THINK ABOUT IT.


Good news for the Colts, bad news for the Texans: Owen Daniels out for season.

This is good for the Colts for two reasons:
1) That's one less good player that the Colts will have to cover come Sunday.
2) Dallas Clark will probably attend the first Pro-Bowl of his career...in Miami.  I'm not really sure who comes out on top on this one.

It's a shame Daniels tore his ACL, he sure was having a monster year.  But there's no use in crying over spilled milk, I expect the Colts the go into this game to dominate them regardless. 

FANTASY ALERT: I also heard that their star in the making Steve Slaton was benched for fumbling too much.  I'll leave it up to you to figure out who is supposedly replacing him.  Hint: if you are in a league with me don't waste your time, I already picked him up.

 

Finishing touches.

I figure I should end this on a good note and send a little love to the Rams and Titans organizations; congratulations on not sucking as bad as the 2008 Lions.

Oh, and if you don't agree with everything I just said then you can get the $@#% out of my article you bum.

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