Kissing Suzy Kolber insults us Colts fans; call us "fat humps"
by BigBlueShoe on Dec 4, 2009 12:59 PM EST
in Horse Bucket
36 comments
As a regular reader of KSK, I cannot say I am surprised that they picked at least one article this year to insult and berate Colts fans. We've seen them do it with Patriots fans to great (and surprisingly accurate) effect. Now, they apparently think it is time to start insulting us. Folks, we have officially arrived:
Cashier: Okay, sir. You got two bacon cheeseburgers, one spicy fish fillet, two sides of chicken fries, one order of chili cheese fries and one extra large cherry limeade. That’ll be $18.12.
Derek from Muncie: Ha! That’s funny! 18-12! That’s what Colts fans call the rivalry between Peyton Manning and Tom Brady. The War of 1812. I don’t know if you can really call it a "war" anymore, because we own the Patriots now. How stupid was Belicheat going for that 4th and 2? Peyton would’ve never done that.
Cashier: [Polite chuckle]
It's worth pointing out that some of the writers at KSK are Redskins fans, and since their team has been utterly irrelevant for about 20 years or so, it makes sense as to why they feel the need to make fun of other teams and fans. I mean, you can only insult and make dick jokes at the expense of your Napoleon-like owner (post third stage of Syphilis Napoleon, when he was clearly experiencing dementia, infected penis) for so long before it starts getting a tad repetitive.
Also, if you have never seen KSK founder Drew Magary in person, you know there isn't that much of difference between him...
...and "Derek from Muncie"...
Image: kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com
A few KSK writers also hail from Cincinnati. So, we completely understand why they hate Indianapolis, the Colts, life in general, and anything that does not involve hard drugs injected through the rectum and animal porn.
Kissing Suzy Kolber gets bored making fun of Patriots fans; switches to Colts fans
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I only go there to read their weekly takedown
of Peter King’s MMQB column.
Also, although their nickname for Peyton is not meant to be flattering, I do get a laugh out of “fetus-head”.
"hard drugs injected through the rectum and animal porn."
Shit just got real.
You have to admit, his head does look like a giant fetus.
That being said, I think the KSK writers are being a little bit more vitriolic than usual because all of their teams suck.
- The Steelers are mediocre at best, and Big Ben has entered Threat Level Trent Green.
- The Redskins, as BBS pointed out, haven’t been relevant since the 90s.
- The Bengals, who hail from arguably a worse place than Indy, Cincy (although I do love me some Skyline). Plus, you know something horrific will happen, because they’re the Bengals.
- And finally, the Vikings. Rooting for the Vikings this season is as if Tom Brady spent a year with the Seahawks and then came to play for the Colts. Sure, they’re winning games, but at what cost to their souls?
Manning makes it Wayne on 'dem hoes! Wayne on 'dem hoes! Wayne on 'dem hoes!
http://monkeybiziu.deviantart.com
by MonkeyBusiness on Dec 4, 2009 2:06 PM EST reply actions 3 recs
Rec'd
"I throw, you catch. It's NOT that hard!"
Peyton Manning, SNL, 2007
by peytonsthebest on Dec 4, 2009 2:35 PM EST up reply actions
you have your own tag on KSK now
aren’t you proud?
Luck is probability taken personally, clutch is probability attributed to individuals.
You betcha! Being the most annoying commentator on KSK is something of a special honor.
Manning makes it Wayne on 'dem hoes! Wayne on 'dem hoes! Wayne on 'dem hoes!
http://monkeybiziu.deviantart.com
by MonkeyBusiness on Dec 4, 2009 4:34 PM EST up reply actions
it's not really true
that tard calling Gonzo a slow white bust is way more annoying.
Luck is probability taken personally, clutch is probability attributed to individuals.
Let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves here: Muncie is kind of a dump. But, no more so of a dump than, say, anywhere outside of the northside and downtown of Indianapolis. Oh yeah, and Bloomington. And it’s less of a dump than West Lafayette. :)
Manning makes it Wayne on 'dem hoes! Wayne on 'dem hoes! Wayne on 'dem hoes!
http://monkeybiziu.deviantart.com
by MonkeyBusiness on Dec 4, 2009 3:10 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Now you've crossed the line
Bloomington is the best city in Indiana bar none. Yeah, that’s like being the best team in the NFC West, but still.
I got a buddy that lives there
and I went to visit him. O my goodness. That is the smallest place I have been in. I was there for a week and I think I met every person in the town
Bob Sanders does not play Hide-and-Seek, He plays HIDE and PRAY-HE-DOES-NOT FIND-YOU!
Woo go Plymouth!
I grew up 15 minutes from there! Yay me! lol
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Not as bad as Kokomo
Worst town in America by far.
"Brett Favre was a man who thought he was retired, but he knew it wouldn't last."
Da heck?
You’ve never been to Gary?
------
"How can a pickup truck contain enough mass to unfold into a towering machine? I say if Ringling Brothers can get 15 clowns into a Volkswagen, anything is possible."
Meh, KSK has a pretty strong track record of hating everybody, so I have a hard time taking something like that personally. If that article (which was pretty lousy as far as KSK fare goes) offends you, then KSK simply isn’t for you. And honestly, you have to take articles like this one as a compliment. Nobody hates the Browns, because the Browns suck something godawful. If Michael Tunison hates the Colts, it’s because the Colts are an AFC contender every year, moreso than even his beloved Steelers. You don’t hate those that are beneath you, you hate those who are above you because you covet their success.
Wow
You do realize that the Colts have one less championship this decade than those Yinzer buttplugs, right?
Agree with everything else you said, though.
by Aristotle O'Handjob on Dec 9, 2009 3:23 PM EST up reply actions
I don't know where he got it from (I just asked him),
but these are Paul K’s 2 most recent Facebook status updates:
Paul Kuharsky Espn #Colts injuries (1 of 2): Brown, Dawson, Francisco, Gonzalez, Vinatieri OUT. Freeney, CJohnson, Sorgi questionable. #NFL #IND
Paul Kuharsky Espn #Colts injuries (2 of 2): 14 probables include Addai, Brackett, DeVan, Hayden, Jennings, Manning, Mathis, Powers, Santi, Ugoh, Wayne. #NFL
"I am in favor of censorship ‐ not against what is supposed to be sexy or dirty, but against what is idiotic." -Jean Renoir
Random fact of the week from the empty void that is my mind: What should you do if a hot dog vendor gives you a free hot dog? Why, throw it on the ground, of course.
I put
a report in the FanShots until Shake gets his up on the front page
Bob Sanders does not play Hide-and-Seek, He plays HIDE and PRAY-HE-DOES-NOT FIND-YOU!
I got a response from Paul K:
I don’t get info off of Colts.com. I get it from the Colts.
Simple and direct. So, from now on, if he posts an injury report on Facebook, we can safely take it as fact.
"I am in favor of censorship ‐ not against what is supposed to be sexy or dirty, but against what is idiotic." -Jean Renoir
Random fact of the week from the empty void that is my mind: What should you do if a hot dog vendor gives you a free hot dog? Why, throw it on the ground, of course.
I think Shoe’s response, if anything, confirms KSK’s stereotype. The kind of fans who take personal offense at a piece like this- and then responding with, “well, uh, your team SUCKS!” – are exactly the kind of people KSK is lampooning.
Take a laugh, be gracious about it, link to it, and move on. No need to get fired up about everything that comes along – it shows that famous Indy inferiority complex all over again.
I actually agree with this guy
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I don't find KSK funny at all
In fact, I haven’t found random curse words funny since I was 12. That’s all their humor is. I commend them for making people laugh, but like Family Guy, I think they are about as unfunny as you get.
"Brett Favre was a man who thought he was retired, but he knew it wouldn't last."
ehh
Family Guy is hilarious. They got a new movie coming out soon. I love that show
Bob Sanders does not play Hide-and-Seek, He plays HIDE and PRAY-HE-DOES-NOT FIND-YOU!
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