NFL RULE CHANGES
Today like everyone already knows, some interesting rule changes have been introduced into the NFL. These changes (like always) take away from the brutality of the game of football. Soon QB's wont have to worry so much about being sacked but instead, having their flag pulled. These rules include "having an equal number of players on on-side kicks (no more than 5 players on one side), Offensive players can no longer blind side block defensive players (Ex, the Hines Ward play), and finaly defensive players can no longer go low on QB's even if they are blocked to the ground". The press has gone wild with these rule changes. Here are some examples.
"After every play, all 22 players on the field have exactly fifteen seconds to flex, pose, and thump their chests to demonstrate that they are all the best athlete in the entire world"-(http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/nfl-rules-2009.php)
"Absolutely, positively no roughhousing
If a player brings a cupcake to the game, he must bring enough cupcakes for everyone
A fifth quarter has been added to each game, with the third quarter having been removed to make room for it
On-field speed limit of 10 miles per hour
When an offensive lineman and a defensive lineman grapple, tickling will incur a fifteen yard penalty
Quarterbacks can only run diagonally, defensive linemen can only run in a line that's perpendicular or horizontal to the line of scrimmage, and whites are not allowed to play at the running back position
Any player caught sobbing or openly crying must run ten laps around the stadium

In order to establish possession, a wide receiver must bring the ball to his body without losing control, touch both of his feet in the field of play, and go through a bitter court battle with the ball's previous owner
No running near the pool
Members of the coaching staff are not allowed to steal play call signals from the opposing team, nor are they allowed to dive and intercept kisses that were clearly blown toward someone else
Do not feed Torbo
In the event that an athlete dies on the field, the play will effectively be ruled as a "do-over" and his surviving family will be evenly distributed to the rest of his teammates upon the conclusion of the game
Touchdowns are now worth five points, uncanny impersonations of Jack Nicholson are worth eight
Linemen are not allowed to commandeer medical carts and plow through the other team unless they can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that their legs are really tired
The pregame coin toss has been replaced with a pregame discussion of Cormac McCarthy's The Road
Players must pay for any pumpkins they damage while running through Old Man Tarver's crop on the 30 yard line
When the ball is fumbled and like twenty guys are crammed in a pile fighting over it, ten points will be awarded if a player manages to sneak out with the ball and casually clean his fingertips while everyone keeps fighting
During night games, the points are doubled and the uniforms are skimpier
After 140 years of careful consideration, we have finally made our decision: All employees of the NFL are urged to vote for Ulysses S. Grant in the presidential election" -(http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/nfl-rules-2009.php)
What do you think?
This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Stampede Blue's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Stampede Blue's writers or editors.
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Yet all of these rules are sissy compared to QB rules. This is the worst part of the NFL by far. It’s a goddamn sport. People get hurt. I’m a rugger. If there were all of these rules to protect people, it wouldn’t be fun. I don’t care if I break all of my fingers or get roughed up. It’s a physical sport and injuries will occur. I’m pissed about the Brady Rule.
"I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said,'Forget everything you know about slipcovers.' So I did. And it was a load off my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn't know what the hell they were."
-Mitch Hedberg
LOL, its to protect teams that cant seem keep QB's like this one.
Nate Davis = beast, The rest of the NFL fails to reconize that
by colts9318rock on Mar 24, 2009 8:57 PM EDT up reply actions
I'd like to see one of these with Colts NTs
During the Dungy era. That would have to be a XXL jersey.
"I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said,'Forget everything you know about slipcovers.' So I did. And it was a load off my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn't know what the hell they were."
-Mitch Hedberg
hopefuly thoughs days are over
Nate Davis = beast, The rest of the NFL fails to reconize that
by colts9318rock on Mar 24, 2009 9:21 PM EDT up reply actions
Amen Bro
Having played the sport myself as a winger ( a wuss position apparently), I cannot believe that they would bring these rules to football(and non-football aka rugby or hockey player) and worldwide ridicule. Brady and other QBs don’t want to get their pretty boy face messed up. They are just like those muscled up frat boys who can’t handle a street fight. :)
No wonder they say that real men don’t play with pads.
"Winning is not everything;the desire to win is" - Vince Lombardi
by rangerover76 on Mar 25, 2009 1:03 AM EDT up reply actions
Re: To the fellow soul who posted about rugby
"Winning is not everything;the desire to win is" - Vince Lombardi
by rangerover76 on Mar 25, 2009 1:04 AM EDT up reply actions
At the beginning of last season
I declared that in 15 years, it would no longer be allowed to touch quarterbacks.
We are closer to that, 14 years to go unfortunately. A damn shame.
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The Brady rule is ridiculous
So when a defensive player is blocked to the ground, what can they do? It sounds as though they have to get all the way back up on their feet before they can try to tackle the QB. Obviously, with an O-lineman still blocking them, it won’t ever happen and once you block a guy to the ground, it’ll be over.
The main reason it pisses me off is because you already know that a big game is going to be decided on one of these bullshit calls. It’s not hard at all to imagine an over-cautious ref calling this on a 4th and long with 30 seconds left, leading to an undeserved win. I just hope that when it happens, we’re not the ones losing because they called it on Freeney or Mathis.
This is clearly a huge overreaction to a single play because Brady is the one it happened to.
who did Kraft pay?
Kraft has probably been whining at the league since Brady went down… so they threw this in to shut him up. It’ll be a disaster as there is WAY too much room for interpretation here..
On the other hand it will stop Wilfork from trying to cripple a QB anymore..
An expert is someone who knows more and more about less and less until they know everything about nothing...
kraft hasn't whined at all to anyone
In fact, when it happened he said that it’s unfortunate, but it’s part of the game.
But I’m in agreement that there doesn’t need to be more rules added, with the result being even more stoppage in play and more chance for the refs to decide games.
Keep the faith!

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