Dear Marvin

by Brad Wells on Mar 5, 2009 8:51 AM EST in Horse Bucket

We love you, but you need to do one of three things:

Sign with the Eagles. You'd thrive in a West Coast offense the way Jerry Rice was able to. So many of Rice's stats were padded by those cheap 5 yard slants. You need to get in on that.
Re-sign with the Colts for really cheap. Unlikely, since you refused to restructure and, thus, the Colts took a 6 million dollar cap hit in cutting you. But, outside Philly, this is the best place for you right now.
Retire. You have nothing to prove. You are a legend. If Peter King thinks otherwise, then he better get used to toilet paper on his lawn. You are one of the greatest WRs ever to play this game, and the best WR of your generation. Go out on top.

Regardless of what decision you make, we still love you. But make up your mind already.

And no, I am not advocating damaging Peter King's lawn. It's a joke. Calm down. Have a donut. Drink some tea. Chiiiiiiiill.

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Damn it, you stole my idea man. I was going to make a fake post about how the Patriots signed T.O. and turn it into a “I’d rather have Marvin” post. :(

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Marvin will play as a Colt this year, or retire, period.

This line will remain in my signature until the Colts draft Rashad Jennings in 2009.

by KingRichard on Mar 5, 2009 8:54 AM EST reply actions

You

You might be right.

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by Brad Wells on Mar 5, 2009 8:55 AM EST up reply actions

You know, if I’m right about one thing in my life, I hope to god that this is it.

This line will remain in my signature until the Colts draft Rashad Jennings in 2009.

by KingRichard on Mar 5, 2009 9:07 AM EST up reply actions

Amen

I have that feeling too, I cant really imagine him playing with another jersey, another colors or another qb…
Hope you’re right

by BlueMark1821 on Mar 5, 2009 9:25 AM EST reply actions

But if so, what are he and his agent doing right now? It’s been long enough that if was going to retire, he would have done so by now (it seems). Maybe he’s just still thinking about it but it feels like he’s out talking to teams.

by psvirsky on Mar 5, 2009 11:30 AM EST reply actions

on another note

are there really any other teams we’d be okay with him going to? If so, what are the requirements? Here is my initial list (although probably incomplete because I’m in administrative law class…)

- NFC team (hopefully one that we are not scheduled to play for a while)
- good QB who can help his career not end shitty
- good system that works with his abilities
- an “honorable” team that we won’t hate (not the Cowboys or Skins)

I guess ultimately, if he has to go to another team, I’m assuming we want him to continue to do well as long as he isn’t beating us while doing it. Thoughts?

by psvirsky on Mar 5, 2009 11:33 AM EST reply actions

I'd agree with that

I actually don’t even care if he goes to another AFC team as long as it’s not the Patriots. Or the AFC South. Or the Chargers. Or the Ravens. Ok never mind I guess not the AFC.

by LovinBlue on Mar 5, 2009 11:36 AM EST up reply actions

Marv can go to any NFC team

except the Cowboyz, Skins, Giants (that would extremely weird for him to catch passes from a Manning QB not named Peyton), or anyone in the NFC West since the Colts play those teams next season.

by KMR24 on Mar 5, 2009 12:05 PM EST up reply actions

I agree wholeheartedly, except....

For the Giants. I think it would be a riot for Eli Manning to extend 88’s career a few years.

Think about holiday meals at the Manning grandparental house in a few years, with 18 and 10 comparing throws to 88. “Did he like do this wiht his hands?” “No man, he just looked up at the last second, grabbed it, and stepped out of bounds!” “Damn, I loved when he did that…. (sigh).”

Almost as good, if 88 is in a playful mood, there can always be the “you brother never did any of that” banter. Not likely, but fun to contemplate.

However, how could he show his face back home in Philly in a Giants jersey? Halfway to stuffing his head into a garbage can some street toughs might pause for a second and say “Hey, didn’t you used to be Marvin Harrison?” Too ugly to contemplate. For that reason alone I say it’s pretty unlikely.

I hate Joe Namath. That's how long I've been a Colts fan.

by Bobman on Mar 5, 2009 1:58 PM EST up reply actions

I also think

That it’d be like your brother sleeping with your ex-wife. It’d be terrible. The conversations would be extremely awkward for a bit there.

Jim Sorgi runs a 4.6 40. That's all I've got to say about that.

by monstersbox on Mar 5, 2009 3:06 PM EST up reply actions

Nicely put

But as long as the awkwardness isn’t mine, I’m fine with bringing a little tension to the Manning clan. They can end the night by draining a case of cheep beer and screaming “Yeah, well your commercial sucks!” at the top of their lungs.

Actually, it’s more like sleeping with a brother’s old flame from years ago, not a recent ex. 18 has already regretfully moved on to a new pair of soft hands and 88 is never likely to be 10’s first and last resort. How about it’s like selling your brother a used car that isn’t perfect but used to be—you know the reality but his hopes are sky high.

Or you have a big dog that everybody in the family just loves, but he has an incontinence problem, you just can’t take it anymore but your younger brother is only too happy to adopt Fluffy. Only to realize that dog pee in the carpet stinks. He can’t really complain and still loves the guy, as do you, but… no, it’s more like… okay, so maybe you were right. Those guys are competitive!

But speaking of big dogs, if anybody wants to take theirs for a walk in Peter King’s Montclair NJ neighborhood, my siblings can provide local support, logistics, maps, and doggie laxatives. And a case or two of Costco toilet paper for decorating.

I hate Joe Namath. That's how long I've been a Colts fan.

by Bobman on Mar 6, 2009 12:00 AM EST up reply actions

You are on a roll tonight

by LovinBlue on Mar 6, 2009 12:48 AM EST up reply actions

+1

by psvirsky on Mar 6, 2009 6:32 AM EST up reply actions

Great post BBS

Glad someone did this. We love you Marv!!!

by yellowsnow on Mar 5, 2009 12:11 PM EST reply actions

I on the other hand

am advocating damaging PK’s lawn. Do your worst (inside reason of course)

Diamondback Dan? Can he say that? Isn't that a popularly elected FO position?

by JustAJ on Mar 5, 2009 12:20 PM EST reply actions

Not the Patiots, but otherwise I’m not too fussed. Maybe on the Seahawks opposite Housh, that might be fun.

Back with us…sure, why not?

by eltharion_doa on Mar 5, 2009 1:40 PM EST reply actions

If Marvin ends up retiring it will piss me off.

Would the Colts have gotten some sort of cap relief if he had retired BEFORE being cut?

Even if not, forcing their hand only made the organization make a decision they didn’t want to make, and you could have retired truly still a colts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmGdAPjcgaM&eurl=http://www.only17points.com/&feature=player_embedded

by Nideak on Mar 6, 2009 7:56 AM EST reply actions