Caldwell Madlib
by LukeM on Sep 30, 2009 5:56 PM EDT
22 comments
Looking for fresh Colts content? Generate your own interview with lovable Coach Caldwell by filling in the blanks!
[Opposing team’s player]—you know he’s a guy that certainly does a lot of things extremely well in terms of [football skill-gerund] and things of that nature. He’s right around [number] in terms of his [football statistic], which is extremely high. Obviously we’ll have to be more consistent in terms of [football skill-gerund], and we’ll certainly have to be focused in our preparation this week. There were certainly a number of plays last week in which we [football skill-past] fairly well. We obviously wanted to try to [football skill] a little bit more and certainly [vague football skill] in a sense.
I thought that [Colts player], you know, certainly did a tremendous job in terms of [football skill-gerund]. He [football skill-past] extremely well and he is [football skill-gerund] consistently. I can’t say how long he’ll be out right now or what is the extent of his injury or any, you know, things of that nature. But obviously he’s a guy that always wants to [verb-infinitive] and he [verb-present] fairly well, and we certainly hope to have him on the field a bit more going forward.
This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Stampede Blue's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Stampede Blue's writers or editors.
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So we have to choose:
Opposing Team’s Player:
football skill-gerund:
football statistic:
football skill-gerund:
football skill-past:
football skill:
vague football skill:
Colts Player:
Football skill-gerund:
football skill-past:
football skill-gerund:
verb-infinitive:
verb-present:
I haven't read the script yet besides the fill in the blanks
Opposing Team’s Player: Seneca Wallace
football skill-gerund: hiking
number: 45
football statistic: passing completion
football skill-gerund: sliding
football skill-past: ran
football skill: throw
vague football skill: physical
Colts Player: Addai
Football skill-gerund: tackling
football skill-past: punted
football skill-gerund: throwing
verb-infinitive: be
verb-present: Defecates
Seneca Wallace—you know he’s a guy that certainly does a lot of things extremely well in terms of hiking and things of that nature. He’s right around 45 in terms of his passing completion, which is extremely high. Obviously we’ll have to be more consistent in terms of sliding, and we’ll certainly have to be focused in our preparation this week. There were certainly a number of plays last week in which we ran fairly well. We obviously wanted to try to throw a little bit more and certainly physical in a sense.
I thought that Addai, you know, certainly did a tremendous job in terms of tackling. He punted extremely well and he is throwing consistently. I can’t say how long he’ll be out right now or what is the extent of his injury or any, you know, things of that nature. But obviously he’s a guy that always wants to be and he defecates fairly well, and we certainly hope to have him on the field a bit more going forward.
Brilliant
It isn’t just Jim C. Virtually all coaches talk like this. That’s why we have the present infatuation of the (especially NY) media with Rex Ryan—he’s someone who apparently can’t or won’t fit this model. In this sanitized, PR and PC-obsessed world, even the most basic candor is so pleasing for how it stands out from the everyday blather.
We all would just love it if, next week, Jim would come up to the mike, look Phil B., Kravitz, Chap and anyone other media loitering nearby straight in the eye, and say something truly out there, like “Jeff Fisher has the worst 70s porn star ’stache in the league”. The reason we’d love it is because it never, ever happens. That’s why your fill-in is brilliant in its prescience.
The fault, dear Brutus, lies not in the stars, but in ourselves.
Obviously your average coach is a guy that certainly doesn’t want to make headlines and things of that nature, but it’s certainly funny, in a sense, the degree to which Caldwell has approached the task of giving interviews and reduced it to a form letter in terms of certainly and a number of other things. He’s certainly done a tremendous job developing a technique for consistently giving mistake-free interviews.
Rec'd
It’s funny ‘cuz it’s true.
Now a proud annoyance on Stampede Blue, 18to88, Indy Football Report, and Phil B's blog.
Man, I need a life...
Random fact of the week from the empty void that is my mind: The Atlanta Falcons are the only NFL team to never have back-to-back winning seasons in franchise history.
Excellent
Reminds me of when my brother and I would fill all the noun blanks with “toilet” or the colors with “puke green.” Ugh, and that was over 30 years ago, not like yesterday or anything…
How can you not love a team that does this?
LovinBlue,
How do you think Cal will do against USC this Weekend? What time does the game start?
"You can't defend the perfect throw, what can I say?" Peyton quoting Marino
I really don’t know how Cal will do… I believe the team was thoroughly embarrassed at their performance, but they have been trying to look ahead since last Saturday. I also know that USC has reason to rally with the terrible injury to Stafon Johnson… of course that could also be a distraction for them. I think you’ll see Cal do better and rebound against USC, but I won’t go so far as to predict a winner. One thing in Cal’s favor is that USC doesn’t run the spread option; one thing in USC’s favor is their stout run defense which will key on taking out Jahvid Best and force Riley – a so-so QB – to throw the ball.
The game starts at 8pm ET, and is on ABC again, but it looks like you’ll get the Oklahoma-Miami game.
How can you not love a team that does this?
Yes, I'm getting the Miami game.
Miami didn’t do so hot last week. But in football…..things can change pretty quick. I really hope your Bears beat the Trojans, for some reason I just love it when they lose, to ANYONE.
"You can't defend the perfect throw, what can I say?" Peyton quoting Marino
Very Funny,
I agree with Coltsfan 58, I love it when coaches aren’t always so vague and PC. I saw Rex Ryan talking on TV, and I liked his attitude, just for a change.
"You can't defend the perfect throw, what can I say?" Peyton quoting Marino
For the record
I like it when coaches are colorful, as long as they are coaching someone else’s team. I like it when our coaches stay level headed and keep everything close to the vest. Let the other coaches be entertaining. We have games to win.
lol
Opposing Team’s Player: Aaron Curry
football skill-gerund: Pursuing
number: 26
football statistic: Forced Fumbles
football skill-gerund: Stunting
football skill-past: Ran
football skill: Back-pedal
vague football skill: Pop
Colts Player: Jeff Saturday
Football skill-gerund: sealing
football skill-past: pancaked
football skill-gerund: chopping
verb-infinitive: penetrate
verb-present: walks
Aaron Curry—you know he’s a guy that certainly does a lot of things extremely well in terms of Pursuing and things of that nature. He’s right around 26 in terms of his Forced Fumbles, which is extremely high. Obviously we’ll have to be more consistent in terms of Stunting, and we’ll certainly have to be focused in our preparation this week. There were certainly a number of plays last week in which we Ran fairly well. We obviously wanted to try to Back-pedal a little bit more and certainly Pop in a sense.
I thought that Jeff Saturday, you know, certainly did a tremendous job in terms of Sealing. He Pancaked extremely well and he is chopping consistently. I can’t say how long he’ll be out right now or what is the extent of his injury or any, you know, things of that nature. But obviously he’s a guy that always wants to Penetrate and he walks fairly well, and we certainly hope to have him on the field a bit more going forward.
@lefpsyd
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