For Sulaiman: A Glass of Ice Water for the Jets Fan

First, you must have the best 11-7 team in the history of the NFL. It has to be true. I mean, how could you have possibly lost seven games with your impregnable offensive line, bone crushing fullback play and vaunted rushing attack that could not be stopped with an armored brigade? It’s simply… unpossible to think. It pains any true football fan to even think that Miami, Jacksonville and the lowly Falcons would dare defecate in your sun-dried tomato bisque soup and dirty your teams record. Oh, and the lowly Colts defense… the one that stepped aside from day one and only permitted the Colts to win 15 games… surely there is no hope. The Colts should as well just skip the game so you can wear the AFC champion jersey you purchased from your team’s pro shop (which is secretly run by the staff of love-psychic.com) on Monday. It’s clear that your gargantuan, lumbering offensive line will wipe them from the field without breaking the slightest of sweat. After seeing what you did to the Bengals (clearly a juggernaut at 10-5 when the J-E-T-S Jets! Jets! Jets! played them), I suspect that the Colts starters and coaching staff have figured out the best move is to simply rest our starters in preparation for a Superbowl campaign next season. Why risk severe injuries like bruised egos, hurt feelings or gasp having a Jets player soil a Colts uniform? Why not just put a team of tackling dummies out there – since there’s little that Freeny and Mathis could do that a tackling dummy could not do. Third, Crackback has been polluting StampedeBlue with his special brand of wit, impeccable air of dignity and unique and unerringly myopic perception where somehow the Colts are no longer playing the 11-7 J-E-T-S but facing the Greek and Roman pantheon. It’s clear that hubris is not in as short of supply as logic, common sense and basic decency. Fortunately, Freeny and Mathis will sack Zeus while Manning, Wayne and Clark rob the temple. Prediction: 42-10 C-O-L-T-S COLTS! COLTS! COLTS!