After a one-year hiatus, Colts fans have returned to their yearly ritual of sitting back and relaxing while their team has a bye week for the opening weekend of the playoffs. For those of us who yell, scream, and kick while watching games, this weekend is an opportunity to let those blood-pressure levels return to somewhere close to normal for a week. Then there are those of us who just can't let a weekend of professional football go by without investing ourselves completely to one side or another. I feel your pain. While I could never force anyone to root for one side or another, I can help you make an informed decision. After the jump, we'll weigh the pros and cons of rooting all eight teams this weekend.
Jets vs. Bengals
Rooting for the Jets means...
- You're rooting for the team that beat the Colts in Super Bowl III.
- You're rooting for the team that beat the Colts 41-0 in the 2003 playoffs.
- YOU'RE ROOTING FOR THE TEAM THAT ENDED THE COLTS PERFECT SEASON. Oh wait, we did that? Never mind.
- You're rooting for Chad Ochocinco.
- You're rooting for defensive back Jonathan Joseph, who will inevitably make you think of defensive back Joseph Jefferson, a third round draft pick who never panned out in Indianapolis.
- You're rooting for the team with the most hideous uniforms in the NFL, by far.
Eagles vs. Cowboys
Rooting for the Eagles means...
- You're rooting for the ciry that thought Marvin Harrison shot someone for a while.
- You're rooting for the city that booed Santa Claus.
- You're rooting for the city with "the worst air traffic in the world".
Rooting for the Cowboys means...
- You have to root for Jerry Jones and Tony Romo. That's really all you need to know. If you can bring yourself to do that, by all means do it, but don't expect me to join you for the ride.
Ravens vs. Patriots
You're not going to make me break this down, are you? Sure, rooting for the Ravens is weird because of the Colts' history with Baltimore, but this is the Patriots we're talking about. Even in a year where the Patriots have given the Colts some gifts (trading Richard Seymour to protect Peyton from being injured, 4th and 2, Welker's injury which validated the decision to rest starters in a roundabout way), you still can't root for them. You just can't.
Packers vs. Cardinals
Rooting for the Packers means...
- You're rooting for former Colt Matt Giordano.
- You're rooting for a team that lost to the Buccaneers.
- You're endorsing Green Bay's way of handling legendary quarterbacks in the twilight of their career.
Rooting for the Cardinals means...
- You're rooting for former Colt Bertrand Berry.
- You're rooting for Kurt Warner. He's a nice man and a good quarterback, but just remember every time he wins a playoff game it adds a small shred of legitimacy to arguments like this one.
- You're endorsing Arizona's way of handling legendary running backs in the twilight of their career.