Washed-Up Frat Guy was regarded by his high school football coaches as "not bad at fetching the footballs" and "was on the team to boost GPA." He was responsible for 3 catches, 16 yards, 2 fumbles and had to refill the Gatorade cooler during halftime. He was always "that guy" with the team- not really one of the cool guys, but tagged along because he had a sweet car. He wasn’t recruited by any colleges, but joined the Flag Football League at Purdue and led his team to a 4th place finish, good for second to last- just ahead of the "Math Team".
Standing at 5-11 and weighing 190 lbs, with at least 20 lbs of "beer weight", Frat Guy has the size to be a Pro Receiver. He may be a little rusty for not having played in four years, but a little WD-40 from the Oil Drum should do the trick- I hear that Frat Guy has been seen making Rum and WD-40 drinks since his sophomore year. Not particularly good for you, but they make you run like the dickens (straight to the bathroom).
Recently, Frat Guy had a one on one interview with Peyton Manning and apparently passed with flying colors.
"So, like, Peyton asked me ‘Yo bro, you got hands?’ so I was all like ‘Yeah man. I got hands like some guy with really good hands. Like Lebron James or something,’" Frat Guy said in an exclusive report. "And after I said that, man, Peyton was cool bro and said ‘We’ll sign you up, man, enjoy your Pro Bowl career!’ The interview was brawler."
Manning, when asked about the interview, had little to say.
"Yeah I said that. So what? I can make Frat Guy into a Pro Bowl receiver. Hell, put a scarecrow on the field and I’ll make him a 80 catch, 1000 yard, 10 touchdown receiver every year."
Frat Guy is expected to generate little interest, but has often been compared to "Jerry Rice, if Rice never played football and took up a career in casual drinking and couch potato-ing." However, if Manning says he can make him a Pro Bowl receiver, who am I to question him? Sign him up!