Why you are going to hate me

I haven't written much about the things I've seen and heard "behind the scenes" because, frankly, there hasn't been much time to do so. I'm in a very unique situation. I'm a fan (like you) who gets media access. I sit with the Peter Kings and the Don Banks and the Bob Kravitzs whenever there is a major NFL event. I get tours of the NFL corporate offices. I sit in on meetings with important people. I hear stories of this and that.

At the end of that day, it isn't very fun.

Fun for me is just going to a game, sitting back, and watching Peyton Manning shred the Jets for 4 TDs. Fun is writing up a recap for a victory. Fun is debating with John Bena how Scott McDaniels is an idiot. Those are all fun.

What is not fun is when I have write articles bashing Bill Polian. I call that stuff "work." Work involves me having to criticize a draft pick, a personnel decision, a coaching move, or a play made by someone on the field. Work has me sit in on those before-mentioned meetings, listing to people tell me how much of a dick Bill Polian was to them, or how the Colts have an awful reputation in league and media circles.

As a fan, I sit back and listen to this stuff with my jaw on the floor.

Now, I don't write about this crap because

1. It would piss off the people who told it to me in confidence, and
2. What is it going to do but piss you off as well.

And, at the end of the day, most people here and elsewhere will write it off as "part of the game." What many people do not know if that we fans are, quite effectively, sheltered from much of the big business aspects of pro football. We're viewed as a commodity. In some case, an annoying, "necessary evil." What I have worked very hard to do is make certain that the people who dismiss, demean, and belittle the voice of the fan are insulted, berated, and condemned for the scum-sucking schmucks they are. Some of those people work for the Colts. Others, for the NFL itself. A few more are people who work in the press, or who blog.

If there is one thing I've learned in sitting in on all this back-end, "insider" stuff it is that fans are indeed as smart and observant as league people and media people are. So, when I see bloggers or press writing "Teams shouldn't listen to fans, becuase if they do they'll end up unemployed," that kind of thinking is, quite honestly, ignorant.

Case in point: The Colts picking Kevin Thomas in the third round.

This is a scout reporting report on Thomas from a fan website, Scott Wright's Draft Countdown:

Health / Durability is a major concern

...

An awfully intriguing prospect who definitely has the tools to excel at the next level but will have  to stay out of the training room.

As you all know, I was not happy with the Thomas pick, and the reason I wasn't happy was because many people at the NFL Draft were shaking their heads at it. However, those same people did not have the stones to write anything bad about the selection even though they knew it was bad. One reason they didn't is because they knew they'd get the reaction I've gotten.

Again, it's work for me to write stuff that points out an obviously bad decision by Bill Polian, but it's my job.

So, when I read posts from people who say I don't know what I'm talking about, that I should shut up and just let the Colts do their thing without comment, or "Who are you to question Bill Polian?" I really have to wonder what kind of silly world these people think they live in.

Who am I? I'm a paying fan. I live in an era where fairly accurate scouting report info on players is easily available. I read these reports, make an opinion, and write about it. And when I make a criticism of Bill Polian, especially one that is proven correct, I certainly don't "enjoy it." I don't like being right about the Kevin Thomas pick being a wasted selection, but it's my job to be opinionated about this stuff and to put myself out there.

And please, don't waste me time arguing with me over whether the pick was right or not. If you think the Thomas pick was good, it's just not worth the effort "debating" with you. The pick was awful. The dude had a red flag for being injury prone, and in his first practice he got hurt. It's a knee injury, and knee injuries for corners are not something you just bounce back from. Marlin Jackson couldn't bounce back last year (he's been converted to safety now), and T.J. Rushing lost all of his elusiveness after his knee injury in 2008. Thomas' career could be drastically affected by this injury, and I obviously don't "enjoy" writing about it. But the reality is that he was indeed an injury prone player out of college with several question marks about his durability, and in his very first practice... BAM! Done for 2010.

WTF else is there to "debate" about the pick?

In this instance, as an opinionated fan blogger, I absolutely must divorce myself from my homerific "I LOVE THE COLTS AND ALL THE REST OF YOU CAN EAT MY NUTS!" tendencies and attack the decision to draft this guy for the boneheaded stupidity that it was. If you don't like my tone on this, or you think I'm being unreasonable, then I guess you do not like reality slapped between two pieces of bread and force fed down your throat.

Reality is Bill Polian is not infallible. His track record with third round picks is awful. Everyone knows it, but no one wants to write about it because they are scared.

I'm not scared.

And in the case of Kevin Thomas, we now see that these dirty, obnoxious, annoying fans were correct. Their information over, arguably, the best personnel man in football. Dirty Bloggers 1 - Bill Polian 165.

Now, is it possible to be "nicer" in my tone, to be polite and humbly suggest that drafting Kevin Thomas was wrong, or that benching starters in Week Sixteen (the way they did) was a mistake? Sure, but I'm not wired to be nice when it comes to mistakes like this. Also, "nice" can sometimes be a pretentious, untruthful way to convey "What are you? STUPID?" I'm not about being polite for the sake of it. Polite goes out the window when you see NFL executives making millions of dollars off paying fans one minute and then dismiss their opinions the next. Nice don't cut it when Indiana taxpayers footed 87% of the $720 million cost to build Lucas Oil Stadium while also paying over $200 just for tickets to one game.

When you look at all this through that lens, f*ck nice.

If you are looking for a "nice" blog that does not criticize the Colts organization for making dumb decisions, then go to Google and type "nice Colts blogs" and see what comes up. Or, make your own. Here, someone like me absolutely must take an aggressive stand both against and for decisions made by this team. The irony of doing things this way is that, for me, it leaves me with few allies.

• Fans and readers hate me because I bash the Colts when they screw up.
• The Colts hate me because I refuse to be an unpaid extension of their PR department.
• Some of my colleagues hate me because when they've written articles insulting the Colts, Peyton Manning, or anything related, I've bashed them for being the ignorant sacks of pigshit that they are.

In the end, when you are some stupid idealist (like me) who holds his favorite team and his colleagues to the same standards they hold him to, you aren't going to have many friends. But, what I do have is my integrity, and that is the only thing I have ever "sold" you readers on. Everything I write is 100% the way I feel. I don't do "shtick." I don't write stuff because I'm looking to make friends or, possibly, placate someone. I don't write things to just "get mad" and draw attention. 

All that said, if you dislike my opinions enough to post hundreds of comments in an article, I sincerely thank you. I didn't create this blog to be "right." I didn't create this blog to simply post my thoughts. I created this blog to create conversation with other fans. And, for the most part, I'm able to do that pretty effectively. As always, thank you for reading, and for hating my stuff. I hope you get where i'm coming from, and thanks for reading this little mini-rant.

Go Colts.