2011 NFL Week One Final: Texans 34 - Colts 7

HOUSTON - SEPTEMBER 11: Running back Ben Tate #44 of the Houston Texans scores on a two yard run against the Indianapolis Colts in the first quarter at Reliant Stadium during the season opener on September 11, 2011 in Houston, Texas. (Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images)

Just like last year, the Texans thumped the Colts in Reliant Stadium. And, just like last year, the Colts defense is an overpaid, underwhelming group of men who just don't know how to play tough football.

Say whatever you want about Kerry Collins and his tendency to put the ball on the turf. Yes, the turnovers hurt. But, equally bad was the fact that the Texans did not punt the ball until 8:23 in the third quarter. Between the first quarter INT of Matt Schaub to the punt in the third quarter, it was FG, TD, TD, TD, FG for Houston. The score was 34-0 at halftime, and the game was effectively over.

Again, not discounting the turnovers. But, the Texans ran the ball at will against Indy, and Schaub picked apart the secondary as if it wasn't even there. This was the game where the defense was going to step it up. My only response to their collective effort is this: Fart.

Even the Colts special teams seems to get jealous that the defense was getting all the attention for sucking. They allowed Jacoby Jones to return a punt 79 yards for a TD with :54 seconds left before halftime.

I'll give it up to Robert Mathis (1 sack) and Reggie Wayne (7 catches, 106 yards, 1 TD). They showed up, in some way. Both guys are in contract years as well, for what that's worth. But everyone else, in particular the rest of the defense and the Colts offense line... garbage.

The positive here is other teams that were supposed to be good this year also got waxed on the road. The Steelers and Falcons both look putrid played against the Ravens and Bears, respectively. The Chiefs got embarrassed at home... by the Bills! And the Rams started hot but then got crushed at home by the Eagles.

Remember the Eagles, right? The team with all the free agents who couldn't possibly get it all together in order to beat a playoff contender like the Rams the opening day of the season. Yep, them. They looked pretty damn good.

Injuries: Gary Brackett and Ernie Sims were both hurt, though Sims seems to be more serious.

Misery loves company. We got lots of it. Congratulations to the Texans. They're good right now. Our guys suck. Hopefully, they can get better. Go Colts.

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