Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports
Colts sack master Robert Mathis is writing some wonderful stuff on Twitter. Allow us to decrypt it for you.
First off, I have to beg Robert Mathis' forgiveness for not writing about his Twitter exploits last night, but I was recovering from a new, 30-minute workout routine that almost gave me a heart attack. Fortunately, Stampede Blue writer Josh Wilson caught Robert's brilliant but not-so-subtle Twitter suggestions on who the Colts should potentially target in free agency in 2013, and summarized it here.
For this write-up, we'll just present Robert's tweets and let you, the reader, make up your mind as to who he is referring to:
I can give 20 reasons why the Colts have potential for a serious SB push. Its a mental game and we simply need to reed between the lines lol— ROBERT MATHIS (@RobertMathis98) February 14, 2013
Nothing like real gridiron gladiators....the kind that will bring a bowe n arrow to a gun fight lol— ROBERT MATHIS (@RobertMathis98) February 14, 2013
our Qb made leaps n bounds throughout the season and he is to guard the shoe and that requires tackle-ing any foes that oppose.— ROBERT MATHIS (@RobertMathis98) February 14, 2013
my angry demeanor often brings kids to call me a meany, no need for me to finish b/c the house at 93rd and Sack st. leads to the home of____— ROBERT MATHIS (@RobertMathis98) February 14, 2013
we need a roster full of physical,smart and fast players that swarms like a bee hive ...the answer to this riddle is the total of 5 x 5 =???— ROBERT MATHIS (@RobertMathis98) February 14, 2013
He then finished off his Twitter flurry with this:
When I dont tweet,its a problem...when I do tweet & have fun w/yall, its "why are u all over my timeline & thinking im hi" #WhatDoUwant???— ROBERT MATHIS (@RobertMathis98) February 14, 2013
So, yeah. There it is.
OH COME ON! I can't let you guys figure this complicated Twitter stuff out on your own! I'm the head blogger. It's my job to decrypt the deliciously mad rantings of all Colts employees on Twitter.
Robert Mathis pretty obviously wants the Colts to re-sign punter Pat McAfee and keep kicker Adam Vinatieri. He also wants Ryan Grigson to open up the pocket books and ink Chief receiver Dwayne Bowe, Ravens safety Ed Reed, Patriots wide receiver Wes Welker, Rams running back Steven Jackson, and a defensive tackle that remains nameless. Oh, and he wants Dwight Freeney and Jerraud Powers re-signed.
Basically, to quote the great poet Norman Stansfield, Robert Mathis wants the Colts to sign: