Well, despite my warnings, you're here. Let's get started.
- Chiefs: Luke Joeckel, OT, Texas A&M. Branden Albert, Alex Smith, talented roster, blah blah blah
- Glitter Kitties: Dion Jordan, DE/OLB, Oregon. Jacksonville is in a tough spot. They obviously need a franchise signal caller, but taking Geno Smith 2nd over all would be goofy. Then again, it is Jacksonville, so maybe it'll happen. If not, I'm mocking Dion Jordan here because I like to be boring and unoriginal, and because they need a pass rusher. The only other player that fits with them that is also worth taking is Eric Fisher, but my guess is Jacksonville's new GM is looking to find a flashy play maker.
- Raiders: Star Lotulelei, NT, Utah. This guy might be the best player in the draft, and the Raiders desperately need defensive line help. Like imagine the Colts' offensive line before free agency. That's how bad the Raiders' defensive line is. Some have mocked Geno Smith here, but that would shock me. The new Raiders GM seems to have a good head on his shoulders, and he just traded for Matt Flynn. I doubt they bring in a signal caller this early.
- Dream Team: Geno Smith, QB, West Virginia. lol Mike Vick. No but seriously, a ton of people have the Eagles taking Eric Fisher, and to be honest that's both what they should do and probably what they will do. However, I think Chip Kelly would love to have Geno Smith, and I think he's going to go earlier than a lot of people expect. It's true they just restructured Michael Vick's contract to make it more cap-friendly, but I don't think that's any sign of long-term commitment. Even if they don't take Geno Smith, I expect Vick to be replaced by mid-season.
- Lions: Ezekiel Ansah, Athletic Freak of Nature, BYU: The Lions lost Avril and cut Vanden Bosch. They need help at the DE position and Ansah might be BPA here anyway.
- Browns: Demarcus Milliner, CB, Alabama: The Browns have to deal with some of the league's most solid passing attacks. If Milliner pans out, the Browns suddenly have one of the best CB duos in the league (assuming Joe Haden stays off drugs). I wouldn't be surprised if the Chargers traded with the Browns to get Lane Johnson.
Lane Johnson, OT, Oklahoma.Eric Fisher, OT, Central Michigan. It'll be helpful to keep Drew Stanton et. al. upright, especially given BA's vertical passing attack. I wouldn't be surprised if the Chargers traded here, either.
- Bills: Sharrif Floyd, DT, Florida. The Bills grab a top-3 player who is sliding.
- J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS: Barkevious Mingo, DE/OLB, LSU. The Jets apparently love this guy. Moving on.
D.J. Fluker, OT/G, Alabama. DJ Fluker should absolutely not go this high, however I doubt the Titans take one the better OL prospects because they only play guard (Cooper and Warmack). The Titans should absolutely take one of the two guards, but the signing of Andy Levitre makes that difficult.Lane Johnson, OT, Oklahoma. Keeping Locker upright and opening holes for CJ1K should be priority #1 for the Titans.
- Chargers: Jonathan Cooper, G/C, North Carolina. They need offensive line help, and Cooper's versatility gives him the edge over Warmack (he can play center, and his college coach says he's athletic enough to play FB in short yardage situations).
- Dolphins: Tyler Eifert, TE, Notre Dame. BUT JBACON TIGHT ENDS DON'T GO THIS EARLY. In this draft class they do. The "GM" for the Dolphins caught a lot of flack for this very pick during the community mock, but I really liked it. He will be a massive upgrade over the departing Anthony Fasano.
- J-E-T-S JETS ah to hell with it, Cordarrelle Patterson, WR, Tennessee. Many are mocking Tavon Austin over Patterson, in general, and several have Austin going to the Jets. That, however, fails to account for two major things. First, the Jets are without a legitimate #1 receiver (rookie Stephen Hill did nothing and Santonio Holmes is worthless), and second, Rex Ryan exists. (Okay, cheap shots at Rex Ryan aside, I do think they have made some questionable selections in recent years)
- Panthers: Sheldon Richardson, DT, Missouri. Like the Bills before them, the Panthers snag a sliding top prospect. Some have mocked Tavon Austin and Kenny Vaccaro here. Both would be good selections, but I think Richardson is the better prospect.
- Saints: Jarvis Jones, DE/OLB, Georgia. Hey look, the Saints might have a defense this season.
- Rams part 1: Tavon Austin, WR, West Virginia. Jeff Fisher will be doing backflips if Austin falls to him. There's no way the Rams don't take a wide receiver at some point in the first round. Austin will be a huge upgrade over the lost slot receiver/crash test dummy Danny Amendola. Recent reports have linked the Rams with Clemson stud/restroom destroyer DeAndre Hopkins. If Austin is off the board, this pick would likely be Kenny Vaccaro with the Rams hoping to land Hopkins with their second first round pick. As it stands, Jeff Fisher won't pass up Austin.
- Steelers: Xavier Rhodes, CB, Florida State. The Steelers lost Keenan Lewis, so they get Rhodes as a replacement, and an upgrade.
- Jerry Jones: Chance Warmack, G, Alabama. They just extended Tony Romo's contract and will be looking to win right away. Dallas has a tremendously talented roster, the only problem is their offensive line. Consider this: Mike McGlynn would probably be a huge upgrade to their interior.
- Giants: Kenny Vaccaro, S, Texas. The Giants defense is in bad shape. They have average line backers, sub-par corners, and safeties that just aren't very good. There isn't a corner worth taking here, so they go for the top-rated safety (he also happens to be BPA at this point). Another option would be a defensive end to make up for the departing Osi Umenyora, but that isn't as pressing a need as secondary help.
DeAndre Hopkins, WR, Clemson. I took some heat in the community draft for making this pick, but I still contend it makes far more sense than any of the other available options. The Bears' biggest need is offensive line, but there isn't a lineman worth taking here. In reality, they could try to trade back to the low first/early second and take Larry Warford, but I'm not mocking trades because that's even more of a crapshoot than making actual picks. The other need people talk about is middle linebacker. The Bears' LB corps has historically set the standard for the league, and Urlacher's departure seemingly leaves a large hole at the position. This is, however, completely misguided. First off, the Bears signed DJ Williams already. Second, and more importantly, the Bears were functionally without Urlacher all last season anyway--injuries left him totally hobbled. Even with issue, the Bears still had an elite defense. With that said, I'm taking Hopkins here because receiver is a glaring need. All the Bears have is Brandon Marshall and an unproven Alshon Jeffery.DJ Fluker, OT/G, Alabama. Now that I remember to include Eric Fisher in this draft, DJ Fluker falls to the Bears. They should pull the trigger without a second thought.
- Bungles: John Cyprien, S, Florida International. The Bengals really need help at safety. This pick will be either Cyprien or Eric Reid, whom Cincinnati apparently really likes.
- Rams part 2: Son of Rams: Eric Reid, S, LSU. The Rams also really need help at safety.
- Adrian Petersons: Sylvester Williams, DT. The Vikings really need a defense to compliment Adrian Peterson. Sylvester Williams is a better prospect than #23, so the Vikings are also getting good value here. Another option would be Desmond Trufant to replace the cut Antoine Winfield. I don't expect the Vikings to target a receiver until the second or third round, but if they do decide to take one here it'll be Keenan Allen. He's a superb route runner and, most importantly, the best blocking wideout in the draft.
- INDIANAPOLIS COLTS F YEAH GO COLTS #CHUCKSTRONG #COLTSTRONG, Keenan Allen, WR, California. Everyone seems to think the Colts will take a pass rusher here. Brad's current mancrush seems to be on Datone Jones, but I think it'll be hard to pass up a true #1 wideout prospect in favor of a boom-or-bust defensive end, especially when Pagano's defense relies on the LBs to get pressure and the DEs to set the edge. The same can be said for Margus Hunt and Tank Carradine. With DeAndre Hopkins still on the board, he might make more sense here, but I'm giving Allen the edge because of his superior hands and blocking ability.
- Even More Adrian Petersons: Alec Ogletree, LB, Georgia. The Vikings really need help at linebacker, and Alec Ogletree would make them jump for joy. He's the top ILB prospect in this class, so getting him at #25 is a huge value.
- Packers: Datone Jones, DE/DT, UCLA. The Pack really need pass rushing help on their offensive line. Datone Jones offers scheme versatility and would be a solid pick in this range.
Robert Woods, WR, USC. A few people have mocked Justin Hunter here, but I think the Texans would prefer someone without off-the-field issues. Robert Woods has a great work ethic and, if he can add more bulk, could become Andre Johnson 2.0.DeAndre Hopkins, WR, Clemson. This guy could also become Andre Johnson 2.0.
- Broncos: Tank Carradine, DE, Florida State. lol Elvis Dumervill.
- New England Dumbfaces: Bjoern Werner, DE/OLB, Florida State. New England needs a pass defense. That could be addressed either by adding a corner or a pass rusher. I'm opting for the latter option because I expect them to target a corner later in the draft--perhaps Tyrann Mathieu. The Pats have hit home runs recently by taking top talent that slides because of off-the-field concerns (think Alfonzo Dennard).
- Falcons: Desmond Trufant, CB, Washington. Atlanta desperately needs help at corner given their offseason losses.
- 49ers, Margus Hunt, DE/OLB, Arkansas. Justin Smith isn't getting any younger, and they just lost RJF to the Colts. The 49ers could also look at a safety to replace Dashon Goldson.
- Ravens: Kevin Minter, ILB, LSU. Not only have the Ravens lost Ray Lewis, but they've also lost Danelle Ellerbe. There is a glaring hole at inside linebacker. The Ravens could also look at a receiver like Justin Hunter or one of the many 2nd-round corners or guards.