QB's Start 'Em
Andrew Luck (Indianapolis Colts)
Who better to start this fantasy report off than our hometown hero, Andrew Luck (178 YDS, 2 TD, 127.9 RAT) at quarterback? Although Luck's numbers weren't staggering in leading the Indianapolis Colts (1-0) to a victory in their home opener, he got style points while doing so... especially in the first half where he reminded us exactly who he was last season and still remains. Facing a Miami Dolphins
(1-0) teams who gave up 244-passing yards to QB Brandon Weeden (289 YDS, 1 TD, 48.4 RAT) last week definitely looks to be suspect against Luck and his new arsenal of receivers. Speaking of Weeden, has anyone else seen his ESPN.com headshot? I can't tell if he's confused, constipated or just a half-chromosome away from being a bit Downsy?! Meh, anyway... start Luck. You're welcome.
Michael Vick (Philadelphia Eagles)
As many of you have already let it be known, you think I am crazy for calling the Philadelphia Eagles (1-0) my comeback team of the season. Regardless, Michael Vick (203 YDS, 2 TD, 112.6 RAT) and company showed exactly why I feel the way I do by putting new Head Coach Chip Kelly's offense into beautiful, color swatch motion! The hurry-up offense works perfectly for this group of athletes, allowing Vick to stay the pocket-passer on 1st and 2nd downs, while running for a few solid first-downs on 3rd-and-short while the defense is still in a state of confusion and gasping for air - it was a thing of beauty. Now, facing a San Diego Chargers
(0-1) team ranked 25th in stopping the run and 26th in stopping the pass, it doesn't bode well for the visiting squad whose traveling cross-country on a short week like it does for your fantasy line-up. Besides, I have began dating this girl from New Jersey (you know how they claim the Giants
, Jets, Eagles, Redskins
or whomever else is having a decent season) and she's an "Eagles fan", too... so, I'm definitely forced to stick with the call now. God knows I can't stop hearing about it... JESUS!
Did You Know?
The past FOUR opponents to face the Eagles as their home opener have won the Super Bowl
in their respective season! That's 1,048,575:1 odds!
Drew Brees (New Orleans Saints)
Last season the Tampa Bay Buccaneers
(0-1) were dead last in passing defense and it looks as if last week wasn't much of a different look for the Bucs when they allowed the New York Jets
and their embarrassing offense to surpass the 200-yard mark in passing en route to a loss that was just as embarrassing. Don't look for Drew Brees (357 YDS, 2 TD, 113.6 RAT) and company to be so lax against this Tampa Bay secondary. Brees has always been known to rack up video game numbers and Sunday looks to be another day where he'll have turbo pressed down even after plugging the Game Genie in for cheat codes. That took you way back right there, didn't it?
RB's Start 'Em
Marshawn Lynch (Seattle Seahawks)
Hopefully you're not still panicking about what happened last week when the Seattle Seahawks
(1-0) barely skated out of Sunday with a win over the Carolina Panthers
(0-1). The fact of the matter is, they won. True, it wasn't pretty, but they won... and covered - whew! Premier RB Marshawn Lynch (17 ATT, 43 YDS, O TD) had a slow start last week, but don't allow that to rattle your confidence. Lynch has scored a rushing touchdown in 2 of his last 3 games against San Francisco while surpassing the 100-yard mark in each of his last 3 contests. Besides, it's week 2... would you people chill the hell out a bit, Rome wasn't built in a day!
Darren McFadden (Oakland Raiders)
Little is it known (until now, because damn it, I deserve it to be common knowledge) I gave Oakland Raiders (0-1) RB Darren McFadden (17 ATT, 48 YDS, 1 TD) his "Run DMC" nickname back when he was in college at Arkansas. Clearly that has nothing to do with why I think you should start him this week, but at least give credit where it's due. Now that we're past all that nonsense, start McFadden and look for him to clean up and make the Jacksonville Jaguars
(0-1) appear far worse than the Indianapolis Colts (1-0) did last week against him. The Jags have all sorts of questions from every angle - both offensively and defensively. In all honesty, that being said, giving Raiders QB Terrelle Pryor (217 YDS, 1 TD, 70.6 RAT) the nod against this last-ranked secondary wouldn't be a bad bet either. Watch for "Run DMC" to exploit this team surely looking to be bottom-feeders all game long. Now, back to the whole nickname thing - I'm clever and witty... and that's why you're reading this now, so at least acknowledge it! Ughhh!
LeSean McCoy (Philadelphia Eagles)
When I said I was a believer in the Philadelphia Eagles (1-0) this season, I meant it from every aspect. True, with the new system there is far more substitution going on with Chip Kelly's offense, but that clearly didn't stop RB LeSean McCoy (31 ATT, 184 YDS, 1 TD) from absolutely going off last week. McCoy looked like a man among boys and as if he had an extra gear to turn on whenever he felt he needed to do so... reminding us all of who he and the Eagles were just a few seasons ago. I see McCoy absolutely dismantling a tired San Diego Chargers (0-1) team being forced to come off a short week and travel completely across-country just to get punched in the mouth with a loss. Even if the offense of the Eagles doesn't punch the Chargers in the mouth, I'm sure one of the maniacal fans at Lincoln Financial Field will step in and take the honors.
WR's Start 'Em
DeSean Jackson (Philadelphia Eagles)
What kind of believer would I be in the Philadelphia Eagles (1-0) offense if I didn't preform the trifecta - putting a QB, RB and WR in the mix of starters? In what I see being a high-scoring affair, I also look for WR DeSean Jackson (7 REC, 104 YDS, 1 TD) to throw solid numbers on the board when the Eagles high-octane offense takes the field in their home opener against a lacking San Diego Chargers defense, ranked 26th defending the pass, giving up 326.0 passing yards per game. As good friends, Mike Hartmann and his partner in crime Scott "Jiggity" Johan (both
from Budsville, IN - a suburb of the Dadsville Metropolitan area) say, "Let DeSean Jackson get out there and 'ees' sure to show you badassery!" Don't ask.
Steve Smith (Carolina Panthers) I pretty much always have a hard time telling my loyal followers to start anyone on the Carolina Panthers (0-1) squad who isn't named Tim Biakabutuka **crickets - anyone, anyone?!** However, this match-up against the "soft" Buffalo Bills (0-1) all-around defense exposes major holes and various flaws for WR Steve Smith (6 REC, 51 YDS, 1 TD) to exploit, given the opportunity. Start Smith this week if you'd like to get a few solid fantasy points... or if you just enjoy watching a wideout who looks as if he just broke out of prison and has to play a good game to attain instant freedom.
Wes Welker (Denver Broncos)
Just like when WR Wes Welker (9 REC, 67 YDS, 2 TD) returned for the New England Patriots
a few weeks in last season, he didn't miss a beat. Well, guess what - when you go from one Hall of Fame quarterback to another, you tend to keep stride, as well. When the Denver Broncos (1-0) head to New York to face the Giants in the "Manning Bowl", Denver will have had a few extra days to keep the arm of Peyton Manning
(462 YDS, 7 TD, 141.1 RAT) as perfect as it was in Denver just a week ago. Welker has learned how to turn a 3-yard slant into 35-yard scampers into the endzone with ease... leaving the defenders with their heads down like Phikeia's who've lost their paddles.
QB Sit 'Em - Seriously, don't you even think about it, young man!
Ben Roethlisberger (Pittsburgh Steelers)
Honestly, I have never been one to drink the Kool-Aid on Pittsburgh Steelers (0-1) QB Ben Roethlisberger (191 YDS, 1 TD, 71.7 RAT). I know, I know, he has a few rings and all that jazz, but I've not even once have ever drafted him on any fantasy team and I feel as if the beginning of this season tells the tale of why - without that monster supporting cast, he's just a portly Midwestern guy with a sexual assault record. Although the Cincinnati Bengals
(0-1) dropped their opener in a close one last week to the Chicago Bears
(1-0), I don't see Roethlisberger fairing so well. He's bigger, he's slower, he's whiter... sit him.
RB Sit 'Em - Did I stutter?!
Frank Gore (San Francisco 49'ers)
Yes, you heard me correctly, sit San Francisco 49'ers (1-0) starting RB Frank Gore (21 ATT, 44 YDS, 1 TD) this week. Truth of the matter is, not only are the Niners traveling to face the Seattle Seahawks (1-0) and their infamous 12th Man, they have also stopped Gore to just one rushing touchdown in their last six meetings. Not to mention, each game he's had in the Northwestern region of the country has resulted in less than 85-yards rushing in his last six trips. We need to see if Grigson and Irsay could trade for him for this week only, since we've lost Vick Ballard
(13 ATT, 63 YDS, 0 TD) for the season. Hell, with those numbers, I'm sure Gore would be up for it, too!
WR Sit 'Em - Think about it again and you'll be grounded for TWO weeks, mister!
Roddy White (Atlanta Falcons)
Let's be real, when Atlanta Falcons (0-1) star WR Roddy White (2 REC, 19 YDS, 0 TD) tweets about fantasy owners being weary of starting him on his own twitter feed, something's wrong. White suffered a high-ankle sprain in last week's loss to the New Orleans Saints (1-0) and is questionable for Sunday's game against the St. Louis Rams
(1-0). Besides, even if Rams DB Cortland Finnegan (7 COMB, 0 INT) is, what I like to call, a "bag-o-dicks"... he's still a solid shut-down defender who would give a healthy Roddy White trouble without the ankle problems. Don't mess with him this week, trust me.