Well, that was fun.
I've never been one to look forward to free agency - perhaps due to Bill Polian's School of Ebeneezer Scrooge General Managing of hoarding your own players and over-paying them instead of actually testing the free agent market - but I found myself refreshing my browser more than a Las Vegas hooker refreshes her glory hole with Sani Wipes.
We all know the big news of the day. Around the league we saw Demarcus Ware get dumped, Denver shore up their secondary to take attention off of their ugly face, New Orleans steal our date, and Chicago trade a Pepper for Houston. I suppose it's better than trading a pepper to go to Houston. I wouldn't even do that much; that place sucks. Here in Indy Bethea went to San Fran, and Donald Brown snuck out the door to San Diego as quiet as a mouse fart. Thankfully we re-signed Vontae Davis, who was rated as one of the top 10 FA prospects (I think) this off-season to a reasonable, or maybe not reasonable, or maybe maddeningly over-paid contract depending on who you ask (SHUT UP, MOM).
But here are a few things I'm happy about, which may be flying a tad under the radar.
Jonathan Martin got traded to the 49ers. Thankfully we can finally put this retarded baby to bed, because any more talk about how he'd fit perfect in Indy and I may have been arrested for shaking baby. The issue with Martin isn't that he's considered mentally weak and can't handle the pressure in the NFL (which he can't), it's that he's just not good at Teh Footballs at the professional level. At the eye of the controversial Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones But Words Will Draw A Lawsuit hurricane is the fact that Martin got benched for not being able to produce at the NFL level. Maybe Jim Harbaugh can have a scavenger hunt this off-season to find Martin's balls.
Eric Decker is visiting the Jets. This could be me jumping the gun here (what can I say? I'm slow and white and I need all the help I can get), but it looks like Colts-to-Decker might be cooling off a bit. Maybe it's because we're not desperate for a WR. Maybe it's because Decker wants #1 receiver money. Maybe it's another one of One-eyed Willy's booty traps (booby traps). That's what I said - booby traps! Whatever happens I hope we don't pay Decker a buttload of money for a position we don't have a great need for. I'd rather see him try to justify his contract in New York catching lame ducks from whatever Flavor of the Year QB they have this season.
What about Jim Leonhard? So we didn't get Jairus Byrd. I'm still confused why we didn't. Did we not offer the same deal as New Orleans? Because if we did I find it hard to believe he'd pick a past-its-prime Saints team over the hot new chick on the block Colts. Have you seen that mare's ass? It's tight. Maybe Grigson didn't offer him a deal worth taking? Either way he's not coming here, and we need a FS. Remember the last time Jim Leonhard hit free agency and many of us here were clamoring for him to be signed to Indy? We have a second chance with our first crush. Sure, he might not be as handsy as "the one who got away", but that'll do, pig. That'll do. Leonhard brings 9 years of NFL experience and I believe he can still ball for a few years, which is enough time to develop some young talent under.
So there you have it - my random thoughts early in the morning, on display in raw, un-compressed fashion; gleaning the scraps of approval from society. I imagine this is how Brad feels every morning when he has his daily emergence from the basement in his step-dad's hand-me-down robe, and eats a bowl of Fruity Pebbles on the front porch.
It feels glorious.