Whether inadvertent or not, Colts fans here on Stampedeblue have provided a much needed sense of humor with their spot-on and comical takes of blunder after blunder. It's one of the few bright spots during what have been otherwise painful Sunday afternoons. While you can read all of them in their entirety on the Colts-Jags open thread, here are a few of my favorites that sum up this dreadful season pretty well. 

Enjoy.

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I like Coach Caldwell.  Type in "Coach Caldwell nice guy" on Google and you will find dozens of links with analysts, media and fans alike all acknowledging that Caldwell is a friendly and upstanding individual. 

He just seems so over his head. The ability to provide a steady calming influence and also keep your team playing hard is an extremely underrated and valuable talent. When you have a good team, even a mediocre team, having such an impact is critical to overcoming adversity, similar to the trying times the Colts faced last year. But, for a team in a slump - or worse, one that lacks talent - the coach must be able to make critical and tough changes, inspire the team and set a new course. 

So far Caldwell hasn't be able to do that. Painter's quarterback rating has slid every game - except for a slight bounce back after the Saints game - for the past five games.  The defense ranks 31st in yards per game and is the only unit to allow more than 400 yards in a game five times. Those kinds of numbers show that a coach is either struggling to get through to his players, doesn't have the talent or can't coach. For the Colts it's a combination of one and two more than three. Regardless, the whole worth and value of a coach is to get more out of his players regardless of the present talent. At 0-10 it's clear that the coaching strategies aren't working. Staying the course and remaining low key no longer has the same impact and is no longer the right strategy. 

It's time for more imagination, more cajones and passion (see both Harbaughs) and  the willingness to buck convention and think outside the box! If Caldwell isn't willing or able to make the necessary changes, Jim Irsay should at season's end. 

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Yes, I'm here again with yet another pet peeve.  Today's topic: poorly timed journalism.  My example - the speculation over who will return kicks.  First, some background:

On April 23, Bill Polian stated in the Day 2 post-draft press conference, that were the season to start that day,

I'm not sure there's a returner left [in the draft] that would be more dynamic than what we have on the squad right now.... There are some return guys down there but none that I could turn to the coach and say, 'this guy's got the job.'...  If we played next week, [the returners would] probably be Giguere and Powers, if we had to play next week....  We're not focused on the return game....  When you go to the Super Bowl, you're not hurting in that area.

And on April 24, prior to Round 7, he stated that kick returner wasn't a position he was "losing sleep over."

Let's consider the circumstances.  It was the night before and morning of Day 3 of the draft.  The draft was still very much in progress.  There were more players to draft.  The Colts wanted their man.  The Colts probably did not want to tip their hand.  Get the picture?  While it is possible that Polian believes Powers and Giguere CAN return punts and kicks, it is more likely that he was putting up a smoke screen to divert attention from their interest in Fisher.  And technically, he wasn't lying - he did say if the season were to start the next day, we would see those guys looking into the sky for the ball.

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I had so much fun airing one of my pet peeves the other day, I thought I'd give it another go.  Today's topic - incomplete journalism.

I alluded to this issue in my previous post.  The basis of my ire is that I firmly believe in telling the truth, the WHOLE truth, and nothing but the truth... emphasis on WHOLE truth.  Here's a simple example: it is true that it snows in downtown San Francisco.  But it's also true that "during the last 150 years there have been only six documented snowfall events with one inch or more measured in that district," and I think the last recorded snowfall was in the 1970s.  Were you to stop with the statement that it snows in the City, a reader - especially a non-Californian - might believe it snows there every winter.  (Editor's aside: when my husband moved here from the East Coast he worried about driving on the City's steep hills in the winter because he assumed it snowed.)

That's great, LovinBlue, but we know you're proud of living in the Bay Area... can we get back to football already?  Oh right, sure....

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I was running errands today and, as usual, listening to Sirius NFL Radio.  Like most of their spots, today's show offered an opportunity for people to call in and ask football-related questions.  One gentleman called in, claiming to be a "HUGE!!!" Packers fan, and going on and on about how happy he was that the Pack decided to bolster their O-Line in the draft.  He's watched every game for as long as he remembered, has been following the team in the offseason, and was tired of Aaron Rodgers having to scramble and take sacks, etc., etc., etc.

And then he said it...

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I have wrenched control from the evil BigBlueShoe!  This blog is now mine and will soon be strewn with Flying Elvis and Pat Patriot logos.  Yes...YES!!  That's the ticket.  I never liked horseshoes anyway.  And then I'll...wait.  How does BBS have a post on the front page of Pats Pulpit?  Can't be!  Heresy, I say.  Oh, this is not good.  I must be careful lest he strewn MY castle with blue horseshoes and stuff.  Even worse: pictures of fivehead!  Oh, the horror...

In honor of our upcoming matchup, BBS and I have conspired to pull the old switcharoo.  For newcomers to the pahty, we did this last year and had some good back and forth.  Yes, I know the thought of a Patriots blogger with his hands on the missle controls is a bit sickening to y'all, but think of what's going on in MY house.  There's bound to be a post or 2 hammering Tom and Gisele. ;-)

Not to worry though; BBS's lieutenants will keep me in line.  They're good dudes despite their team affiliation.  That being said, my goal is to provide you with a view of the Colts from a Patriots blogger's mind.  Yes, I'm a major homer but I believe I'm realistic, too.  I love good football and I think I'm capable of recognizing talent when I see it.  And this is a talented team.  Just please excuse the occasional (possibly frequent) irrational escape into Patriots homerism.  You wouldn't have it any other way, right?

Let the fun begin.

Enjoy, via KSK:

Image genius courtesy of colts9318rock

My friend John Oehser always has genuinely nice things to say about Vic Ketchman, who has about the same job at Jaguars.com that John had at Colts.com. I'm sure Vic is a nice guy, and I'm sure he is very good at his job. Maybe, some day, Vic and I can grab a beer, sit down on a couple of comfy bar stools, and make fun of each other in a jovial, easy-going manner.

However, until that day, I must do what every honest, passionate Colts fans always does during an NFL regular season: Make fun of Vic Ketchman's stupid comments at Jaguars.com.

In his most recent Power Rankings article, Vic ranked the Florida Gators the #1 team in the NFL.

Yes, you read that correctly. It wasn't a typo on Vic's part. It wasn't a logo screw-up or a webmaster getting the College Top-25 mixed up with pro football's team rankings. This was Vic being "cute" with his writing, somehow suggesting a team of boys under the age of 21 are better than any team in the NFL comprised mostly of 30 year old men.

Even Vic's comment line on ranking Florida #1 in the NFL is humorous, in a sort of sad "Awwwww, it's he just a silly-willy" kind of way.

Gators win with defense.

In other news, Peyton Manning set an NFL record yesterday, throwing 15 touchdown passes in one game against the Vic Ketchman #1 ranked Flordia Gators "defense." Also during the game, Tim Tebow was rushed off the field for emergency surgery after Colts safety Bob Sanders hit him so hard his jock strap shot up into his throat. Early reports say Tebow is fine and resting comfortably with Florida coach Urban Meyer by his side, personally changing his bed pan on a regular basis.

Seriously folks, the Jaguars are so bad right now, Vic cannot even promote them on their own site. He's got to promote the University of Florida to get people's attention. Cue dumpster fire pic:

Anyway, no Vic Ketchman article, no matter how large or stupid, is complete without Vic taking an unnecessary and childish shot at the Colts. It's like having a root beer float, but without the root beer. It's Jimmy Johnson, but without the hair gell. It's Joe Buck, sans douche.

In his (hehehe, I'm sorry, I laugh every time I think of this next word in association with Vic Ketchman) "rankings," Vic has the Giants, Saints, and Vikings ahead of the Colts, who are the highest ranked AFC team on his board. The Saints are 4-0, and did not play this past week. So, ranking them ahead of the 5-0 Colts seems a little, well, stupid. But hey, I can let that go. Both NY and Minny are 5-0 as well. No problem seeing them ranked ahead.

What I find humorous is Vic's comment line next to his #5 ranking of Indy:

Why were they passing late in the game?

Oh! Oh! I know why, Vic! I know!

It's because the Colts like to run up the score on crappy teams, padding the stat line so they can get their Pro Bowl bids in early because all the Colts care about is padding stats, disrespecting opponents, and looking "cool" rather than winning. I mean, everyone knows just how classless and crass the Colts organization is, from Peyton Manning to Bob Sanders to quarterbacks coach Frank Reich to the hotdog vendor named Sal who stiffs Jags fans at Colts games by charging an extra 50 cents for mustard. (OK, the last part was full of it, but so is Vic Ketchman).

Did I get that right, Vic?

Ahhhhh Vic. It's always fun to take your hopeless fan drivel, turn it upside down, and wedgie it to death. Maybe, one day, you'll come up with some new material I can pick apart and slice up, like the Seahawks did to the Jaguars "defense" this past Sunday. Maybe one day, Vic won't use the same tired talking points that were old three years ago.

Until then, we will continue to enjoy the comic genius at Jaguars.com known as Vic Ketchman. Oh, and yes Vic, the first beer's on me.

[Editor's Note: At 2-3, the Jaguars are certainly not "bad," but after a 41-0 Jags loss to the Seahawks and a Colts 31-9 blowout over the Titans, you'd think Vic would have a little more tact in his article. Thankfully for us, he didn't.]