Marshall Faulk. NFL Network schmuck. Image: hiscatalog.com

View full size photo »

There's no love-loss for Marshall Faulk here. Faulk was a pouty, vindictive, malcontent player for the Indianapolis Colts who always seemed to put himself above the team and the team's accomplishments. I, for one, was happy to see the me-first prick shipped out of town, replaced by the equally great (yes, I said it, and the stats back me up) and much more likable Edgerrin James. Faulk pulled the same stunts in St. Louis with the Rams, walking out of media interviews and generally being a whiny jerk when things did not go his way. But the media and Rams gave Faulk a pass.

Now, as a member of the media for NFL Network, Faulk has enjoyed using the network's pulpit as a sounding board to bash the Colts because Bill Polian had the audacity to trade him prior to the 1999 season. It's a tired act from Faulk that I often ignore, mainly because most of the "experts" at NFL Network are nothing more than silly little clowns dressed in gaudy suits, making uninformed predictions so bad they make FOX's Terry Bradshaw look like Aristotle.

But, thanks to Indy Lori's diligence, we can see Marshall Faulk take the sterotype of "misinformed NFL Network expert" to another level.

Back on September 9th, Faulk was on with NFL Network's Mike Mayock talking about the AFC South. They talked about how the Tennessee Titans were the best team in the AFC South heading into 2009 (don't snicker) and eventually got to talking about the Colts. Here are some quotes from Faulk during that discussion, talking about Indy's "championship window":

"It closed. Tennessee shut that window. Actually, two years ago, Jacksonville closed the window for them. Now Peyton missing training camp (in 2008), we know that they have kind of built in excuses for not doing well last year. Now you have Tom Moore, a new "senior" assistant, a new quarterbacks coach [Frank Reich], a new head coach [Jim Caldwell]. There's all kinds of things happening in Indianapolis."

For those of you keeping score, the Colts split last year's season series with the Titans, losing in Nashville and shutting out the Titans in Indianapolis. I have no idea what the hell Faulk is talking about regarding Jacksonville. Two years ago, the Colts swept the Jacksonville Jaguars in the regular season. Oh, and currently, the Colts are 5-0 while the Titans are 0-6 and the Jaguars are 3-3. Indy has beaten both already this season.

Oh, and the Colts went 12-4 last season and made the playoffs. How is that "not doing well," and when have we ever seen the Colts use Peyton's knee as an excuse for not winning, I don't know, 13 or 14 games last year?

But all that stupidity is trumped by this next set of drivel from Faulk's lips:

"But the one thing that's missing is Ron Meeks on defense. What's that defense going to look like under Larry Coyer? We do not know. This team, right now, I think it's in shambles. I look for them to maybe not have as good a year."

Um, yeah.

Currently the Colts have the #2 scoring defense in football (14.2 points per game). They have been outstanding against the run and pass, and have done so without Bob Sanders and Kelvin Hayden for much of the season. The Carolina Panthers, Ron Meeks new team as defensive coordinator, are #21 in scoring defense (25 points per game) and are #28 against the run, giving up an average of almost 150 rushing yards a game.

Obviously, not all that is Meeks' fault. Carolina has had some pretty devastating injuries this season. I just highlight it to point out how much of a tool Faulk is. I mean, seriously, those statements were about as ignorant and wrong as it gets.

I have no problem with people saying "the Colts will stumble, and here's why." They just better be right, and if they aren't, they better admit in front of their audience they were dumbasses for suggesting this team was in "shambles" when clearly they aren't.

However, for Faulk, this is not the first time he has gotten in front of the NFL Network cameras and not only been wrong on his analysis, but factually wrong as well. Jacksonville "closed our window?" What? Does this schmuck even watch the games?

The network really needs to put this yutz out to pasture. He can take Jamie Dukes with him.

More photos » by Michael Conroy - AP

Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay (AP Photo/Michael Conroy, File)

Browse more photos »

We bloggers at SB Nation do a lot of collaborative stuff with the writers at Yahoo!, in particular their NFL blog titled Shutdown Corner. While I've only had some limited interaction with the head writer at Shutdown (a fellow named MJD), I've never met and discussed anything with sometime Yahoo! blogger Chris Chase, and that's probably a good thing.

The guy sounds like a serious douche.

Now, before I move forward and systematically obliterate one of Chris Chase's recent articles for Shutdown Corner (a hate-filled, regurgitation of hypocritical nonsense that bashes Colts owner Jim Irsay for really no reason whatsoever) let me provide a little set-up.

Chris recently watched the well-produced but painfully one-sided and factually flawed ESPN documentary titled The Band That Wouldn't Die, by Baltimore naive Barry Levinson (director of Rainman, Diner, and several other films that are over a billion years old) about Baltimore Colts fans and how the "suffered" after Robert Irsay had the audacity to take the team he bought with his own hard-earned money and move it to a city where fans actually showed up and watched the games (unlike the last few seasons in Baltimore). Apparently, five minutes after watching this gigantic orgasm for the people of Baltimore, Chris thought it prudent to take a few shots at Robert Irsay's son, Jim.

Why did Chris choose to bash Jim Irsay?

Well, Jim Irsay, widely regarded by many as one of the better and classier NFL owners in today's game, just happened to be in the news this week around the time this ESPN documentary hit the tubewaves. When recently asked about whether it was good for the league to have conservative talk radio host Rush Limbaugh own an NFL franchise, Jimmy Irsay answered honestly: No. Jimmy's opinion was shared by several NFL players (many of whom happen to be black) who believe Limbaugh's consistently divisive comments on radio and TV about race and race relations paint him as someone not welcome in a league where a majority or the players and several of the coaches are African American.

Irsay's comments about Limbaugh were certainly nothing odd or out of the blue, but they seemed (on the surface) to hold weight. Limbaugh was later dumped a few days after they were made from the ownership group looking to buy the Rams. But, for some reason, Irsay's words seemed to really piss Yahoo!'s Chris Chase right the f*ck off.

Unfortunately for Chris, rather than articulate a well-thought counter to Irsay's opinion about Rush Limbaugh, he decided to lose his mind and write an assinnie article that, for whatever reason, pins the "sins" of Jimmy's father, Robert Irsay, on Jimmy himself. Chris suggests that because Robert Irsay lied to the people of Baltimore about moving "their" Colts to Indianapolis, this means that Jimmy Irsay should just STFU when it comes to making statements about controversial figures, like Rush Limbaugh, looking to buy NFL teams.

Yep, that argument is indeed as dumb as it looks and sounds.

Continue reading this post »

Peter King, sans Red Sox hat, Bruins cup holder, and Patriots underroos. Photo: redskinsblog.files.wordpress.com

View full size photo »

Peter King is a big, fat New England Patriots homer. The evidence to suggest so is pretty convincing. So, why doesn't he just come out an admit what the rest of us already know?

Peter King isn't a bad guy. He's a good writer who seems to have genuine integrity about reporting the facts of the game. I respect that, especially in the ESPN-driven media culture we work in, where inconvenient stories (like the Ben Roethlisberger rape case) are buried by major media news networks because they could adversely affect the network's relationship with certain players (like, say, ESPN's cozy relationship with Ben Roethlisberger).

However, what has always frustrated me about King's writing is his total lack of understanding for the game of football, despite decades covering the sports as a one-time beat writer and now a mega-columnist. King's merciless beatdown of Colts receiver Anthony Gonzalez in the latest Monday Morning QB article is a recent example. King bashed Gonzo in his recent column for dropping a sure TD in a pre-season game, saying:

I think the most significant single play of the weekend could well have been the right-in-his-hands drop by Colts wide receiver Anthony Gonzalez late in the first half at Detroit. The Colts are trying to give Gonzalez one of two jobs -- Marvin Harrison's right wide-receiver spot, or the slot receiver job. But Peyton Manning and offensive coordinator Tom Moore are waiting for Gonzalez to raise his game and grab one of the jobs. After the Gonzalez drop, Manning threw six more passes, none to Gonzalez, and Dallas Clark was back in the slot, his comfort zone with Manning.

18to88 does a fine job tearing King's "analysis" apart by stating what all of us already know:

• Anthony Gonzalez was #2 in the NFL last season in catch percentage rate (72%). For you stupid people out there, that means 72% of the passes thrown to Gonzo were caught. For you even dumber morons out there, a 72% catch rate is awesome!
• Gonzo is not "competing" for a job. He is the starting WR on the right side. He is not the slot receiver. Austin Collie is. Go to any blog, or go to the Colts own website, and it's right there for you to see.
  

I agree with 18to88 that King's analysis on this particular topic is very poor. In fact, it's almost amateur. You really don't need to know much about the Colts to know that Gonzo has great hands and that he is locked in as the starting WR. Any way you look at it, it's just bad analysis from someone who should know better, and is paid to know better. Sadly, this is often the norm with PK. When he reports on events and happenings in the league, he is top notch. Probably THE best. When you ask him to comment on an event or a happening, or to offer his "expert" opinion, oy vey!

Get ready for something ignorant and stupid to fly off his keyboard.

The other mind-wrenching trait King can't seem to shake loose from is his seemingly uncontrollable homerism for the New England Patriots. Peter King was born in Springfield, Massachusetts and currently lives and works in Boston. He's a seemingly big Red Sox fan. And for four of the last five years, Peter King has picked the New England Patriots to win the Super Bowl, and he's been wrong each and every year.

The one year King did not pick the Pats to win was 2007, which happened to be the year after the Colts won the Super Bowl. It also just happened to be the year the Patriots actually made it back to the big dance, only to choke in one of the biggest sports upsets in history. I guess if you're a Pats fan, Peter King picking your team to win is the "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" moment of the off-season. If you're a Steelers fan, you just went "YES!" to King passing over your team yet again, despite the fact they've won two Super Bowls in four years while the Patriots have won zero during that span.

2005: King picks Patriots over Vikings

2006: King picks Patriots over Cowboys

2007: King picks Colts over Saints

2008: King picks Patriots over Cowboys

2009: King picks Patriots over Bears

Again, Peter King seems like a great guy, but it is really hard to think of him as an objective analyst when one sees such unabashed Patriots love displayed in full force.

Peter King once again picks Patriots to win Super Bowl

Image: Colts.com

View full size photo »

Marvin Harrison is no longer a Colt, and likely won't be one again. In fact, it is very likely his career is over. Today is Marvin's 37th birthday, and wide receivers in the NFL rarely produce much past the age of 35. Still, Marvin has let it be known that he wants to play again, and while he has seemingly gotten some feelers from teams like the Vikings, Dolphins, and Titans, Marvin hasn't gotten any solid offers. Again, that's pretty normal. Jerry Rice, the last three years of his long career, was a shell of his former self. People were out-and-out begging Rice to retire. When he got demoted behind the immortal Ashley Lelie in Denver, Rice got the message.

This is not a league for old men.

So, even though we all know it is likely Marvin Harrison won't sign with anyone, why are people like Jason Cole writing such snippy little hit pieces bashing him on his birthday?

Continue reading this post »

More photos » by Michael Conroy - AP

2 months ago: Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning signs autographs after the team practiced at the NFL team's football training camp in Terre Haute, Ind., Wednesday, Aug. 12, 2009. (AP Photo/Michael Conroy)

Browse more photos »

From the man who thinks reports on coffee in airports is entertainment:

The Colts have a bit of an inferiority complex. For years Indy's been the king of the hill in the conference, along with New England. Now the Patriots, Steelers and Chargers are all seen as their superiors, and the Titans their equals. It's one of those things the players are hit with every day. They feel the outside world thinks time is passing them by, and they've all filed it away as motivation.

I don't know how the Colts would have this kind of complex seeing as they defeated all four of those teams last year, including the Chargers in San Diego and the Steelers in Pittsburgh. And the Colts team this year is vastly superior (talent-wise) to the injury-riddled mess that won 12 games last season.

Also, the Titans lost their best player to free agency (Albert Haynesworth). So, if anyone in the media is claiming they are "equal" with the Colts, that person is, quite simply, a moron. The Titans aren't going to suck or anything in 2009, but they are not a 13 win team anymore. You don't just lose Albert Haynesworth and go "Do-di-do. We'll be OK. Jovan Haye is just as good. La-de-da-de-da." And, let's just be honest, the only reason they won the AFC South last year is because Peyton Manning played the first half of the season on one leg.

And if people think the Patriots are the "superiors" of the Colts, maybe we should point them to Indy's 4-1 record against New England the last five years, including last year's win in at The Luke. Yes, I know Tom Brady did not play, but I'm not one to buy into the hype that Brady is vital for New England to win. The Patriots won 11 games last year with a QB who hadn't started a game since high school, and they should have made the playoffs had their defense not sucked. Look no further than the Miami Dolphins "Wildcat" game and the New York Jets game in November where Brett Favre threw all over the Patriots' putrid secondary.

Again, this is why people like Peter King should focus less on analyzing football and more on reporting facts. It is just too easy these days to flush Peter's analysis down the toilet.

For the second time in two weeks, ESPN's programming directors seem to think that all black coaches on the Colts (not named Tony Dungy) look alike. While conducting an interview with Raheem Brock last week, the question regarding new Colts coach Jim Caldwell was asked. While Brock answered the question, ESPN cut to this picture:

As you can see, quite clearly, the black man standing in the center is NOT new Colts head coach Jim Caldwell. That's running backs coach Gene Huey, a fine coach in his own right who has worked for 18  years in the NFL and 15 years with the Colts. While the clip runs, the image zooms in on Huey even though his name is never mentioned on air. The people talking (Brock and the ESPN "reporter" interviewing him) are, in fact, discussing Jim Caldwell, indicating to the viewer that the black man they are zooming in on in this image is Jim Caldwell.

Now, if this mistake happened only once, I'd let it slide. A one-time screw-up is annoying, and just sloppy work on ESPN's part, but forgivable. Sadly, ESPN mistaking Huey for Caldwell is not a one-time issue. It's happened before on other ESPN produced NFL shows.

The Worldwide Leader has taken a beating the last two weeks, and deservedly so. Now, we add spikes to our boots as we stomp on the limp body that is ESPN's programming department. It's not hard to find an image of Jim Caldwell! Simply Google the words "Jim" and "Caldwell," and you get this lovely image.

As you can see, the man in the picture directly above these words looks nothing like the man ESPN is broadcasting as "Jim Caldwell." Now, I don't know what idiot is running their video or image production department, but you pretty much need to be both blind and dumb to confuse these two men. Confusing Gene Huey for Jim Caldwell is like confusing Jerry Seinfeld and Jerry Springer.

These video segments run in loop at ESPN, and have yet to be altered or corrected on ESPN.com. In fact, in the July 2nd ESPN segment, linked above, they run the "Gene Huey-Caldwell" image while commentator Mike Golic talks about Caldwell. Then, later in the exact same piece, they post an actual picture of Caldwell (standing next to Peyton Manning) while Golic continues rambling about the new Colts coach.

I mean, honestly! Do they just not care?

Screwing up once is annoying, but not damning. We all screw up once. I once said the Colts should have drafted Ryan Leaf. Twelve years alter, I still can't live that down. But, ESPN screwing something like this up multiple times, and not even bothering to correct the screw-up is just... well, it's amateur at "best" and (yep, I'm going to say it) damn near racist at worst.

Please ESPN, stop screwing up! I'm getting really tired of writing about how much you truly and deeply suck at your job, especially when it pertains to covering the Indianapolis Colts. You've already failed as a journalistic media entity. Now you're failing as an entertainment one. 

Wait!

What's this? ESPN has posted a story about a civil suit involving an NFL player even though there are no criminal charges filed? I thought their policy was not to report on civil suits. I guess the network's lame and nearly laughable excuse for ignoring the Ben Roethlisberger rape lawsuit last week was as vapid and empty as it sounded.

The ESPN article linked above is about Marvin Harrison getting sued by another person with a sketchy background. It was written by Shaun Assael, the same hack who co-wrote this hit piece on Harrison back in January that we blasted. It is one of many articles written about players involved in civil cases that do not have criminal charges attached. It also cuts to the core of the OMG IT'S SO OBVIOUS hypocrisy at ESPN. Clearly, if you are important (and perhaps white, male, and Caucasian), the bosses upstairs will protect you. If not, well... they may feed you to their stable of hacks, like Shaun Assael.

I don't make a habit of reading the NY Daily News, but recently I read Bob Raismann's column on ESPN. To say that Raismann eviscerates ESPN in this column is an understatement. The man disembowels the network, and afterward he throws the network's bloody guts in the faces of the "journalists" who work for the "World Wide Leader" [emphasis mine]:

When a genius in Bristol created that "Worldwide Leader" moniker, he was not referring to the worldwide leader in journalism. ESPN is, was, and always will be an entertainment company, more show biz than news biz.

...

Throughout its multimedia platforms - TV, radio, magazine, Web site - ESPN employs many people: Columnists, talk-radio screamers, investigative reporters (who could have looked into the allegations in this civil suit) and analysts working in broadcast booths. Yet, with one command, one "don't dare report this," they all shutup.

They now all must live with one perception: They are puppets.

Wow.

Fine folks like Paul Kuharsky, please take note. When stuff like the ESPN-Roethlisberger incident happens, and you do nothing, you are no longer "journalists" or "bloggers." You are corporate drones. Your integrity and professional standards mean absolutely nothing to the rest of us when you stand by and allow this kind of corporate hackery to take place without protest. I realize we all gotta work, and times are tough. But if you hold yourself to a standard, you must stand by that standard even when times are tough. Otherwise, the standard is meaningless and empty.

ESPN's AFC North "blogger," James Walker, did not "blog" anything about the Roethlisberger suit when the news broke. Why? ESPN corporate executives likely told him not to, and Walker (like a good ESPN employee) did what he was told. A responsible journalist would have resigned under protest, or posted the news anyway and leaked it to other blogs. Would Walker have been fired for doing so? Probably. Would he still be considered a journalist today? Absolutely.

However, Walker likely did what his meal ticket told him to do, which was bury the story regardless of whether it compromised his journalists "standards" or not. I know I personally will no longer take Walker seriously as a writer or a journalist, and if other bloggers in my network do, God help them.

I know some of you may question whether ESPN and their docile, "ostrich journalists" deserves to get blasted mercilessly for their corporate hackery brought fully into the light? The answer is yes. Absolutely! It was a little more than two months ago that I had to go onto an ESPN-affiliate radio station and defend blogging against ESPN employees "journalists" who claimed they were "better" because they were "accountable" and had "standards." And did the "journalist" who lectured me on that show make a big fuss when his meal ticket decided to bury a significant story because it would hurt Ben Roethlisberger? No, of course not. He stood in the back of the room and did nothing, clutching his paycheck like a good little drone.

Standards, my left nut.

As a sports blogger, I fight on a daily basis against many of these petty, pretentious, uppity hacks like Bob Kravitz and his ESPN buddies. I'm told our brand of media is amateur while their brand is professional because they adhere to a code. So, when I see these same sanctimonious pricks lay down and hide when journalistic ethics have been broken, I unleash my hounds. I do what they seem unable or unwilling to do.

I hold them to their own standard, and shove right back into their fat faces the same crap they dump on us bloggers.

Also worth noting, if you (as a journalist) call out the "Worldwide Leader" for its unethical practices, they will ban you. Seriously. They will shut you out tell you not to show up to their "Cool Kids Club." They've banned over 100 individuals because they did something that the network disagrees with:

The network's banning of individuals (and now entire media organizations) who do something with which the network disagrees has also now reached ridiculous numbers. According to several people at ESPN, there are as many as 100 people -- mostly journalists -- who have either been banned or are currently banned by ESPN. The number could be higher.

Again, if you are a serious journalist and are still working for this network, quit. No journalist with any kind of integrity would work for such a heinous entity. If you remain working for these corporate "Orwellians," don't call yourself a journalist anymore, because God knows we won't consider you one.

You've voided that title in exchange for a nice paycheck.

[UPDATE]: Apparently, now former-ESPN radio employee Dale Hansen is "no puppet." Via The Big Lead:

Last week, [Hansen] spent 20 minutes on air talking about the rape allegations against Pittsburgh Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger. No, he didn’t get the memo. Well, at a commercial break he did. After the show, he penned his letter of resignation.

Read Hansen's resignation letter, which states, "I don’t want to be identified with being one of ESPN’s puppets. I refuse to be anybody’s puppet."

Will Kravitz and Eddie, who apparently have "standards" that they follow, join Dan Hansen by quitting their jobs? Doubtful. Unlike Hansen, Kravitz and Eddie are corporate puppets. The word standard is spelled for them "$tandard."

More photos » by Michael Conroy - AP

5 months ago: Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning, top, works with center, Jeff Saturday as the NFL football team practiced in Indianapolis, Wednesday, June 10, 2009. (AP Photo/Michael Conroy)

Browse more photos »

I don't normally make a habit of reading the NY Times "blog" about sports, called The Fifth Down, because it kind of... well, it kind of sucks, to be bluntly honest with you. One of the reasons it sucks is because Fifth Down uses "football scientist" KC Joyner as a contributor. I personally cannot think of a more pretentious title than "Football Scientist." I almost thought it was a tongue-in-cheek joke, but since both the NY Times and their blog are completely and utterly humorless, I have to conclude that Joyner thinks it makes him sound important, or something. If I can offer a comparison, you can title yourself Sanitary Engineer, but that doesn't change the fact that you're cleaning toilets.

And calling a silly fool like Joyner a "scientist" is like adding PhD after "Bozo T. Clown."

Joyner's most recent column at Fifth Down is even more enjoyable than his usual nonsense (he used to write articles for ESPN). Rather than write a new article about something relevant and interesting as we get ready for training camps to open, Joyner re-posts an article he wrote two years ago and asks his readers to answer the seemingly burning question Why Does The Peyton Manning Fan Club Have Membership Issues?

Joyner lists ten reasons why Peyton Manning isn't more revered, most of which are nothing tangible and (in some cases) simply not credible. When you read them you cannot help but wonder if Joyner once caught Manning sleeping with his sister in college, or something. The knocks are the kind of typical crap we often hear from drunken Patriots fans: His "gestures" too much at the line-of-scrimmage; he "pouts"; does too many commercials; he isn't physical; plays indoors, etc. Again, if most of this stuff sounds old, it is! I'm almost shocked Joyner didn't include "Hasn't won a big game." He might as well have.

Here's my favorite quote from Joyner, a man who refers to himself as (once again) a "football scientist":

7. His intellectual style. I make my living by reviewing stats and other metrics, so I’m all for this approach, but even I don’t want to make the game quite as intellectual as Manning seems to want to at times.

Seriously, people pay this guy good money to write this stuff. Or, in Joyner's case, they pay him good money to re-post old stuff.

In other news, Peyton Manning was recently rated as the #3 quarterback of all time in the NFL, ahead of Brett Favre (who Joyner claims is "just as successful as Manning over the years.") Maybe someone should pass that link on to Mr. Football, PhD.