Deion Branch buys a house in Indiana?

What the hell is this about?

I grew up in Carmel. Yeah, whatever, I've heard all the jokes. For you non-Hoosiers, Carmel is the Orange County of Indianapolis. It's like Riverdale is to the Bronx in New York. It's basically a place where rich people live, and they feel as though their sh*t doesn't stink. Now, I grew up near "Homeplace," a place in Carmel the Carmel folks refer to as "Redneckville." It's funny because the whole time growing up I saw very few "rednecks." I mostly saw nice people who had worked hard most of their lives to own a home, and Carmel's "Homeplace" offered a great opportunity for them to own a home in a clean, safe environment. For some reason, the Dan Quayles of Carmel (Yes, his family lives there) didn't like these folks. But whatever, I'm getting off subject.

Branch is moving to a part of Carmel where many athletes live. Jeff Saturday, Raheem Brock, and the Indiana Pacers' Jermaine O'Neal live in Carmel. The city is a few miles north of Indianapolis, and several hundred miles north of Louisville. So, why is Branch moving there? Branch is best known as the MVP of Super Bowl 39, where as a member of the New England Patriots he torched the Philadelphia Eagles' secondary for 2 TDs. For the life of me, I still do not understand why the Patriots did not give Branch the money he wanted when he held out two years ago. The Patriots played hardball with Branch, just as they did with Assante Samuel, and Branch filed a grievance against them. The Patriots traded Branch, and then gave 2007 free agent WR Donte Stallworth the money Branch wanted. Stallworth was a complete bust, and the Pats released him recently. Had the Patriots paid Branch the money he deserved (he is a very under-rated WR and a big reason New England won three Super Bowls), they'd have had both Branch AND Randy Moss last year. This likely would have pushed them over the top, because, unlike Moss, Deion Branch actually shows up for playoff games and Super Bowls. Now, the Patriots could very well lose Stallworth, Branch, and Randy Moss in the span of two seasons.

So, what does Branch's new Hoosier status mean for the Colts? Is there something going on we don't know about? Branch is in the third year of a six year, #39 million dollar deal. It's unlikely the Colts are trading for him (especially with his cap number) but it is still interesting. Just for sh*ts and giggles, Deion Branch would be the ideal slot WR in the Colts offense, especially if Marvin Harrison does not come back 100%. If Peyton had Reggie, Gonzo, Dallas, and Deion to throw to, he'd hit 65 TDs. It's a pipe dream, but it's fun to speculate.

Update [2008-2-29 13:8:8 by BigBlueShoe]: Ok, 65 TDs is a little too Tecmo-like. But it would be a lot. Like, a ton. And none would be done in a silly effort to run up the score on people (Brady).