As a Hoosier, born and raised, I must confess something that everyone on the East Coast already knows: Indiana produces anything and everything that is annoying and stupid.
Yes, yes, yes, I know. We all know. All us Hoosiers know. We make annoying stuff. Dan Quayle? Remember him? He used to be Vice President of the united States, and he couldn't spell the word potato.
We made him. He lives not to far from my mother actually.
That dumb song "Our Country" they play on all those Chevy commericals, guess who sings that. That's right, a Hoosier boy: John "Cougar" Mellencamp. In Indy, we call him John Cougar because he changed his name for one album (American Fool). We made him, and in a way we made that annoying song.
Rex Grossman, that QB that gives Bears fans heart attacks every time he throws the football... yeah, we made him too. Bloomington High School football legend. Southern Indiana boy! He's ours too. Sorry Chicago.
Michael Jackson. Yes, that Michael Jackson. He's a Hoosier, born and raised. Mike is from Gary, Indiana, which is why Mike gets such sympathy from us Hoosiers. When he claimed the reason he was turning white was because of a skin condition, no one believed him... except us Hoosiers. He's from friggin' Gary! Of course his skin is turning white. With all the crap Gary industry dumps in its water supply, I wouldn't be surprsied if Mike had a hidden third arm under his jacket, or if he grew a second head sometime next year. Oh, and the whole Jackson family was born and raised in Gary: Janet, Latoya, the Jackosn 5, everyone. Explains a lot. We made them all.
And yes, we also made Peyton Manning, the QB for the Colts that everyone finds so annoying and hates. Even though Peyton was born and raised in New Orleans and played his college ball at Tenneseee, Peyton is now a Hoosier boy, whether he knows it or likes it. We made him.
However, what makes Peyton different from the others is we, as Hoosiers, can't understand why y'all hate him so much. I mean, we understand you hating Mike (he's crazy, but again he's from Gary), John Cougar (God that song is annoying), and Rex (stay away from Killroy's, Rex). But Peyton? Come on! He's such a good guy.
Listen, I know he's on about 50,000 commericals right now, and his large forehead seems to blugdeon you through the TV screen, but at least Peyton isn't so annoying that he induces projectile vomiting, like John Cougar's song does for me. At least Peyton's commericals are funny. At least he can spell potato, and probably uses the word as an audible for an end-around-flea flicker play. At least Peyton is funny, intentionally or otherwise. He's got a funny look, a funny voice... heck, he even stands funny. He gives a boat load of money to charity. Works with other NFL players to rebuild New Orleans communities. He's a stand up guy with the press, and answers just about every question they ask him, no matter how dumb or moronic the questions are. Oh, and he also happens to be a really, really good QB who is entertaining to watch when he plays football.
So what's with all the hating?
Listen, as a Hoosier, I know our track record with making pop culture icons hasn't been stellar. But trust me when I say this Manning guy is the real deal. And when he finally wins a Super Bowl, and the press smothers him with kisses, it's ok to enjoy it and not get cynical.
Update [2007-1-17 16:21:49 by BigBlueShoe]: Personally, I love John Mellencamp, and that "Our Country" song isn't all that bad on its own. But putting it in a truck commerical? Mellencamp should fire his agent.