Bob Sanders doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
My take on Monday Night Football's broadcasting rape of last night's game will have to come later. Right now, I want to ignore the bald morons in the booth and focus solely on the action on the field.
It's around this time that I start looking at team stats. By about Week 8, you can get a pretty good idea of how good or bad your team is based on (obviously) the win-loss record, turnover differential, points scored, points allowed, quality of opponents, etc. You also get a good indicator as to whether your team has improved from last year to this year. Last year this time, the Colts defense surrendering rushing yards quicker than Paris Hilton does her panties at a frat party. Yet, despite how bad they played, there was hope considering that Bob Sanders was hurt and Anthony McFarland had just arrived from Tampa. Today, after seven weeks of football and a third straight year starting 6-0, I think we can all agree that this is the most balanced Colts team we've ever had and that there are very, very few weaknesses on this squad.
Once a cobra bit Bob Sanders' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
And now, Steve Carroll:
Ok, now that we've seen that again: That was a very good Jacksonville team last night; maybe the best team Jacksonville has fielded in recent memory. The Colts crushed it anyway, from start to finish. Garrard's injury, while very unfortunate, was not the key to the game. The game was over when the Colts went up 14-0, running the ball down Jacksonville's throat.
Bob Sanders sleeps with a night light not because Bob Sanders is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Bob Sanders.
- Colts offensive line dominated Jacksonville all night. 141 rushing yards, averaging 4.3 a carry. All these yards were tough yards, grinding it out. Colts were more physical than Jacksonville both offensively and defensively, but in the trenches, where the Jags were supposed to have an advantage, the Jags pushed them around. Tony Ugoh is now a official stud. While in there, he was killing Paul Spicer. He leaves with a stinger, and Spicer goes off. Ugoh routinely pushed Spicer around and made some sick blocks downfield. Despite another piss poor performance by Ryan Diem, this line came to play and then some.
- It was once thought Bob Sanders lost a fight to a Bear. But that was a lie created by Bob Sanders himself to lure more Bears to him. (tip to Masson).
- Colts defense is studly. The BSBD was in full force. Bob Sanders lived down in the box, and the Colts ran Cover 3 all night. Garrard was not effective even prior to his injury and his running game was shut down. Key play of the game: Jacksonville ran that annoying draw play on second down. That play gained 20 yards a carry last time around. This time around, Bob runs in and blows it up for no gain. That's the BSBD, folks!
- Why have lines at the DMV been shorter lately? Answer: Bob Sanders. (tip to JakeTheSnake).
- Jacksonville padded their team stats with some garbage yards after the game was 29-7 with 5:04 in the fourth. Prior to that, the Jaguars had run for 97 yards, averaging about 3.8 a run. Somewhere in Nashville, Gilbert Gardner is crying.
- The Colts game was broadcast in France. The French surrendered to Bob Sanders, just to be on the safe side. (tip to MonkeyBusiness).
- Reggie Wayne made some sick catches, but none sicker than that 3rd and 16 catch in traffic. Teal Nation cried on that play.
- If you say "Bob Sanders" three times while looking in a mirror, you'll feel pretty stupid. Then Bob Sanders will rush through the door and tackle you for a four yard loss. (another tip to Masson).
- Jack Del Rio is a ridiculous coach who has no business running a pro football team. His antics on the sideline, "pumping up" his team, were embarrassing. I laughed out loud when he complained to the refs about calling his team for jumping offsides. His decisions to go for it on fourth down (one in the first and one in the second) were terrible. Both those calls lead to points for Indy operating on a short field. Despite Fatty McButterpants getting booted, at least we can count on Del Rio blowing at least one game against the Colts.
- The average quarterback can throw a football 60 yards. Bob Sanders can throw the average quarterback 60 yards. (tip again to MonkeyBusiness).
Oh, and speaking of stupid:
Robot chicks with kegs emerging from their techno-uterus do not make me want to go out and buy beer.
Despite my feelings about Jacksonville's putrid coach, Jags fans have a heckuva football team and a heckuva blog over at Big Cat Country. Please check out Chris' take on the game.
Indy is now 6-0. They lead the league in rushing TDs. Their defense has 8 INTs, all from 8 different players. They are dominating quality opponents, and yet no one seems to care. They dismantled a very good Jaguars team in Jacksonville, and the announcers would rather talk about other teams. It's annoying. It's tiresome. It's expected from ESPN, a network so bad it makes me feel as though I need a shower after watching one of their called games. Despite their horrible broadcasting, what we saw last night was a dominant Colts team. I know a lot of people in the media want to talk about Nov. 4th, but the simple truth is that game simply doesn't matter.
What matters is the Colts are 3-0 in the AFC south, beating all their opponents on the road. Last year, they won ZERO road AFC South games. Winning the toughest division in football is by no means "locked up," but the South must now go through Indy and that is not an easy thing to do. The Colts are dominating quality opponents right now in a way that makes even the most skeptical Colts fan go "Wow." I just don't think anything can rattle this team. They just kick your ass, and move on to the next opponent, no questions asked.
Late last night, I got an email from MasterRWayne stating: "How about that Colts game? We aren't as flashy as we used to be but we are a better team." I love how a 29-7 butt-whopping is now considered not flashy for the Colts.
The last digit of pi is Bob Sanders. He is the end of all things.