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Signs of the Apocolypse: Gus Johnson getting props

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Gus Johnson: Satan's favorite play-by-play man
As Colts fans, we all know just how horrible an announcer Gus Johnson is. His pairing with Brent Jones in the TV booth for CBS was a match made in Hell. Johnson made every meaningless play sound like he was calling the Stanford v. Cal game: "And the band is out on the field!" In short, Johnson is terrible, often allowing personal bias (he's got a big hard on for Steve McNair) to influence his game calls (everything McNair does is "great," and he's such a brave "warrior" for playing hurt).

So, it comes as a bit of a shock that people are, all of a sudden, fawning over Johnson for his calling of the NCAA games this past weekend. Of course, some of the people fawning over Johnson (Bill Simmons of ESPN) are known morons with the sports IQ of a retarded gorilla. But still, even morons like Simmons shouldn't gush over a boob like Johnson. Thankfully, one of our very own at SB Nation (Peter Bean at BON), agrees that Johnson is a clueless play-by-play man, and has no business doing high profile sporting events like NFL games or NCAA Men's basketball:

The problem with Gus Johnson (okay, one of -many- problems) is that he has absolutely no ability whatsoever to distinguish between the various stages of a basketball game. He peaks about fifteen seconds into the game, then constantly, endlessly amps things back up to that peak level at every possible chance.

A diving save out of bounds? "The heart of a lion! Diving for a shot at glory! A shot at eternity!"

A nice no-look pass to set up a dunk? "Something tells me this man can play a mean game of pinata! No look?!? NO PROBLEM!!!"

It's positively awful - not only because it's so corny, but because it distracts from the game itself.

Amazing how Johnson's cheap antics (he called Steve McNair the "real" MVP in 2003 after he led the Titans back in the fourth quarter to a win over the lowly Houston Texans) piss off other fans as much as they piss off us Colts fans. It's nice to see that others fans find this guy as repulsive as I do, and it is not surprising that corporate puppets like Simmons like him.