In what's become something of a tradition for Colts fans, the final game of the season is absolutely meaningless, which means lots of time for us all to get aquainted with the team's second stringers.
Since there's not a lot to get excited about in terms of competitive football, I've devised this eating game to keep Sunday interesting. Some people like to do this with alcohol, but why would you pass up the chance to see Jim Sorgi with the full mental clarity that comes with being sober? That's what I thought. Here's what you'll need for the eating game:
- A wheel of cheese (I know this was at the top of all of your holiday wish lists, right above that throwback Dean Biasucci jersey you've always wanted).
- A melon baller.
- A spoon.
- An ice cream scoop.
- A rope.
Once you've collected all of those items, all you have to do is refer to the following score sheet and enjoy what should be some exciting second string football.
Whenever you hear someone say "Jim Sorgi is no Peyton Manning."...Scoop out some cheese with melon baller.
Whenever you hear someone say "This is Roy Hall's first appearance of the season."...Scoop out some cheese with melon baller.
Whenever you hear someone say "I wish Devon Aromashodu was still around, his name was fun to pronounce."...Get a spoonful of cheese.
Whenever you hear the words "Vince Young" and "legs" in the same sentence...Scoop out some cheese with melon baller.
Whenever you hear the words "Jim Sorgi" and "legs" in the same sentence...Dig out some cheddar with the ice cream scoop.
If you spot someone in the crowd wearing a throwback Dean Biasucci jersey...Dig out some cheddar with the ice cream scoop.
If you spot yourself af the game wearing the wearing a Dean Biasucci jersey...Immediately stop whatever you're doing and consult a physician. Either you're
- Having a freaky out of body experience.
- Eating something that isn't cheese
Either way, it's probably not a good sign.
Whenever some says "Colts" and "injuries" in the same sentence...Scoop out some cheese with melon baller.
Whenever you hear someone say "Najeh Davenport breaks free!"...Dig out two scoops of cheddar with the ice cream scoop.
Whenever you hear someone say "Najeh Davenport is pooped after that long run."...Stop whatever you're doing, ask someone to use the rope to tie your hands behind your back and eat the rest of the wheel of cheese using only your mouth.