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Know Your Colts History: 10 Ways to Stop Adrian Peterson

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Ladies and gentlemen, we knew coming in this week that stopping Adrian Peterson wouldn't be an easy task.  It certainly didn't help that the player I had pegged as a surprise Pro Bowler this season got cut (Thanks Ed!).  Despite that setback, I remain vigilant in my belief that the Colts can keep AP from running hogwild (jagwild?) on our defense.

Perhaps I'm delusional (likely), but I think if the Colts can execute some of these ideas to stop Peterson, they'll have a great chance on Sunday.

  1. Tell Adrian that it's hard to run long distances while balancing a football on his head without the football falling off.
  2. Eliminate any form of contact between Kenoy Kennedy and any of the Colts defenders.
  3. Have someone walk around the stadium carrying a sign saying "HAVE YOU TALKED TO YOUR MOTHER TODAY?"  It's hard to play at your best with that kind of guilt.  Of course, you run the risk that the Colts will take that message to heart as well.  Let's hope someone buy some prepaid minutes for the team.
  4. Do the exact opposite of what these guys did.
  5. Convince him that the real enemy is Christian Okoye.
  6. Try to sell him on the idea that he's the best gosh darn punter on the team and get him to act on his convictions.
  7. Lock him in a room and force him to watch Cedric Benson lowlights before the game.
  8. Find a large concrete statue and paint it so that it looks like Al Harris and hope that Adrian Peterson tries to run it over before the game.  Of course, if he destroys the wall, that would be a whole new set of problems, but let's not think about that.
  9. Surround him with journalists!
  10. Unleash The Great Wall of Bob.

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