1. You've scrounged through the Patriots' roster looking for ways to make zingers off of their names. Some examples:
- Nice whiff on that tackle Vice Wil-dork!
- Junior Seau, seriously? You've been a senior for a decade.
- Tully Banta-Cain? More like Tully Banta-FAIL! You must have learned from A-FAIL-ius Thomas!
- Hey BenJarvus Green-Ellis...I don't like you either!
2. For Veteran's Day you wore your favorite patriotic shirt that had no red in the design whatsoever. Blue and white are the only colors on the U.S. flag that matter anyway.
3. You've become allergic to New England clam chowder for some reason this week.
4. You just plopped down extra money on your Thanksgiving flight so you can board Colts 1.
5. This week you adopted a large group of rats and put them in your kitchen to create a realistic stadium experience.
6. Seeing a Brady jersey causes you to yell and kick the nearest tree, unlike the other 51 weeks of the year where you just foam from the mouth.
7. That gray hoodie that you during winter has suddenly disappeared.
8. Whenever you see Rodney Harrison and Tedy Bruschi on television, you tell yourself that they're still on the team, just so you can hate the Patriots even more.
9. Whenever someone asks you "Who's your daddy?" you automatically respond by saying, "Archie Manning, one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever play the game! What did your dad ever do?" before realizing that you're not Peyton Manning and the discussion up to that point had absolutely nothing to do with this week's game.