I don't normally make a habit of reading the NY Times "blog" about sports, called The Fifth Down, because it kind of... well, it kind of sucks, to be bluntly honest with you. One of the reasons it sucks is because Fifth Down uses "football scientist" KC Joyner as a contributor. I personally cannot think of a more pretentious title than "Football Scientist." I almost thought it was a tongue-in-cheek joke, but since both the NY Times and their blog are completely and utterly humorless, I have to conclude that Joyner thinks it makes him sound important, or something. If I can offer a comparison, you can title yourself Sanitary Engineer, but that doesn't change the fact that you're cleaning toilets.
And calling a silly fool like Joyner a "scientist" is like adding PhD after "Bozo T. Clown."
Joyner's most recent column at Fifth Down is even more enjoyable than his usual nonsense (he used to write articles for ESPN). Rather than write a new article about something relevant and interesting as we get ready for training camps to open, Joyner re-posts an article he wrote two years ago and asks his readers to answer the seemingly burning question Why Does The Peyton Manning Fan Club Have Membership Issues?
Joyner lists ten reasons why Peyton Manning isn't more revered, most of which are nothing tangible and (in some cases) simply not credible. When you read them you cannot help but wonder if Joyner once caught Manning sleeping with his sister in college, or something. The knocks are the kind of typical crap we often hear from drunken Patriots fans: His "gestures" too much at the line-of-scrimmage; he "pouts"; does too many commercials; he isn't physical; plays indoors, etc. Again, if most of this stuff sounds old, it is! I'm almost shocked Joyner didn't include "Hasn't won a big game." He might as well have.
Here's my favorite quote from Joyner, a man who refers to himself as (once again) a "football scientist":
7. His intellectual style. I make my living by reviewing stats and other metrics, so I’m all for this approach, but even I don’t want to make the game quite as intellectual as Manning seems to want to at times.
Seriously, people pay this guy good money to write this stuff. Or, in Joyner's case, they pay him good money to re-post old stuff.
In other news, Peyton Manning was recently rated as the #3 quarterback of all time in the NFL, ahead of Brett Favre (who Joyner claims is "just as successful as Manning over the years.") Maybe someone should pass that link on to Mr. Football, PhD.