"The Patriots coaching staff told me about this really cool stuff called ‘Bacon Grease’,"
said in an interview. "They said that their cornerbacks do it all the time. It improves speed and grip. They say that’s the secret to Jonathan Wilhite’s achievements." Jennings
Jennings is best known for being in the general vicinity of a Matt Schaub pass one time last season- an event known to Colts fans as impressive as "seeing the Loch Ness Monster playing poker with the Abominable Snowman while Big Foot is cooking a pot roast."
"We've performed many tests," said Professor R. U. Searyus claimed. "And after utilizing nearly $10 million of the taxpayer's dollars, we've come to the conclusion that Bacon Grease is not actually a performance enhancing substance. In fact, it will do the opposite. Ask [New York Jets Head Coach] Rex Ryan. He attempted to utilize Bacon Grease with his players, but ended up eating it- he's still in recovery. Any player who tried to use Bacon Grease should probably just hang up their cleats and call it a career."
"It made me a fan favorite in
Indianapolis," proudly stated. "It should definitely gain me a following in the Jennings ." Windy City