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Know Your Colts History: Don't tase me bro!


This week, one of the hot topics of discussion has been whether or not it was appropriate for Phillies' security to use a taser to stop a fan who had run out onto the field during a game. Unlike most fans who make a mockery of themselves as soon as they hit the ground running, this fan was 17. Because he was so young, he still had some athleticism, which made it much more difficult to catch him and prompted the use of the taser.

Years from now we could look back on this misguided fan as the first in a new breed of more athletic, elusive fans that will create more headaches for event security. As the desire to evade security for longer to get more exposure increases, we could one day reach the point where fans who run on the field train like the athletes already on playing field. This got me thinking, if our finest athletes were put to the test, which one would be able to avoid security at Citizens Bank Park the longest?

Peyton Manning: He lacks the speed and agility that the other players on the team possess, but security personnel wouldn't use the same capture techniques. They would probably try to use an elaborate net system to capture Peyton, in the hopes that they could force him to suit up for the Eagles. Problem is, once security turns catching Peyton into a mind game, they're basically gift-wrapping the advantage and putting it right in Peyton's hands. Of course, they wouldn't be doing that if Peyton wasn't already playing them like keys on a xylophone.

Pierre Garçon: Pierre's combination of speed, agility and strength give him the best chance of avoiding security, but would he be able to go on after getting tasered? As Reggie Williams would probably tell him, it's all fun and games until you get zapped.

Ray Fisher: Mr. Fiery Rash is the Colts' new hope for a better return game in the 2010 season. And as Marquis Weeks reminds us, returning kicks is just like running from the cops. So despite being a rookie, Ray has more experience in this area than anyone else on the team.

Robert Mathis: Unlike everyone else on this list, Robert would actually seek out the security personnel and try to take them down, which adds an odd dynamic to the chase which would make it more difficult to take him down. Would you want to chase after someone like this?

Super Bowl XLI: Indianapolis Colts v Chicago Bears

Bob Sanders: Bob's skin is a composite of granite and iron, mixed with a little bit of poisonous venom, just for the fun of it. His skin keeps security guards from pursuing him and it doesn't conduct electricity, so in other words, Bob can basically go where he wants and do what he wants whenever he feels like it. But you already knew that.