Recap Of The Bill Polian Show: Week 6, 2011

After Bill Polian's meltdown on the radio following the Colts now-infamous handling of the Week Sixteen game against the New York Jets in 2009, the Colts have blocked the call-in radio program named 'The Bill Polian Show' from Internet listeners. This show features Colts vice chairman Bill Polian, and it allows regular Colts fans to call-in and ask him questions which he, frequently, gets annoyed answering. It is the only Colts content that is not streamed live on the net. Thus, because Colts fans outside the Indianapolis area cannot listen in on the show, we provide highlights from the program, which often include Bill Polian saying things he later claims he did not say. However, since the Colts and Mr. Polian do not provide fans or media with recordings of the show, you'll just have to take our word that what we write below is indeed what Mr. Polian actually said. Hope you enjoy.

Stampede Blue live-tweets the highlights while the show is happening.You can follow Stampede Blue on Twitter at @stampedeblue.

Welcome to the Week 6 recap of 'The Bill Polian Show,' where the man I recently suggested should be sent packing with a fresh pink slip in hand actually told radio listeners that the 2011 Indianapolis Colts (0-6 record, 3.8 rushing yards a carry) are running the ball as well now as they did in the glory days of when they had Edgerrin James.

And he meant it.

Bill Polian returns to us this week after ditching his weekly radio show last week so he could do some league stuff in Houston with the owners. Fortunately for masochists like me, Bill Polian didn't leave his useless platitudes and unflinching disregard for reality down in Houston. He was back on the air, talking about how awesome Donald Brown is, how people who questioned him should shut up, and how the Colts really aren't an 0-6 team but are actually a 3-3 team that's capable of 'making a run.'

Yep. Bill's friggin crazy.

Anyway, thanks to the Colts fans in Guatemala, Puerto Rico, and Jamaica for following us on Twitter tonight. While I love you guys, please note that fans like you are exactly who Bill Polian hates. Oh, and a special shout-out to Jason Spells of WTHR, a local TV station in Indy, who said:

@StampedeBlue I gotta thank you. Man u save me from having 2 listen to the entire show.

You're welcome, Jason.

This is now my life: Listening to Bill Polian ramble about useless sh*t so others won't have to.

Here's the recap.

• The show started off with host Bob Lamey bringing up the IndyCar crash this weekend in Las Vegas, killing Dan Wheldon. Bill Polian expressed his sympathies.
• Bill Polian: 'We did A lot of good things yesterday against a good team.' He thinks Marvin Lewis makes the Bengals a 'contender.'
• Bill Polian: 'We are an 0-6 team because we aren't doing little things to win.'

• Bill Polian said the game turned with 5 minutes left and the Colts offense at 3rd and 10. An unnamed Colts WR ran bad route and Curtis Painter was unable to complete the pass. The next play was the blocked FG attempt. Polian then went on to blame the Colts blocker who whiffed on Nate Clements.
  
• Polian stated that, with two minutes left, the ball was 'knocked out' of Pierre Garcon's hands, suggesting it wasn't a lateral. I'm guessing Polian hasn't looked at the tape yet. That, or he's just blatantly making sh*t up and hoping no one notices.
  
• Polian: 'For those that think Donald Brown is not a good player, you saw him yesterday.' As I noted on Twitter, glad to see Bill is still obsessed with what random people think rather than objectively evaluating the talent he's drafted.
  
• The loss was not Curtis Painter's fault, said Polian.
• Citing 'positives,' Polian said the Colts are 'good enough team to play close with any team.' I guess if they handed out wins for effort and points differential, that comment would have value, substance. FYI, the Colts are 0-6, and have the worst record in football.
• Great comment from a Twitter follower regarding Polian's last sentiment: 'I'm good enuff to almost help my lady reach orgasm but almost doesn't cut it'
• The only way out of losing is to focus on fundamentals, the 'little things' at expense of everything else, said Polian.
• Said the Colts are much better running team since the days of Edgerrin James. He said this without laughing, and without being prompted (aka, he meant it, no matter how skull-numbingly stupid it sounds).
• Praised the offensive line. Said Mike Pollak playing 'fine,' and noted that Jeff Saturday playing as well as any point in his career.
• Whenever someone says, 'I don't mean to point fingers,' they pretty much always follow-up that up with pointing a finger at someone. That said, Bill Polian: 'I don't want to point fingers, but we're last in the league at getting off field on 3rd down.'
• Overall, callers on the show had the IQ of hamburger meat. Their questions made me want to to punch a dolphin in front of children at Sea World. Calls ranged from one guy asking about special teams to another saying that, at 0-6 in the AFC South, the Colts still 'have a chance' to win the division. Yep, they didn't do Hoosiers any favors this evening dispelling he 'dumb, redneck, hick' stereotype that pretty much everyone thinks Indianapolis people fit.
• A caller asked if the Colts will be making any trades. Polian did not answer the question. This same caller also asked why the Colts haven't drafted more 'physical' defensive backs in recent years. Polian cited the franchise drafting Kelvin Hayden and Marlin Jackson... back in 2005. I guess, for Bill, 2005 is 'recent.'
• Polian doesn't think Jamie Silva or Marlin Jackson will ever play again.
• According to Polian, the reason the Colts cut Kelvin Hayden this offseason was his spinal fusion surgery, which (interestingly enough) is the same surgery Peyton Manning had. The Colts had 'concerns' about a DB playing with a fused spine. Thus, they cut Hayden, hoping he'd re-sign at a cheaper price. He didn't, and went on to the Falcons.
• When asked about interior rushers, Polian said the Colts had two interior tackles who could rush the passer. He cited Drake Nevis as one... and then struggled to think of another.
• Polian brought up Week 16 of 2009, and said Curtis Painter was unfairly criticized by fans because of it. Again, don't know where the hell he's getting that. Pretty much all criticism for Week 16, 2009 is aimed at Polian himself.
• Polian spent a lot of the show talking about how awesome Donald Brown is. Said Brown is a big play runner, relies on speed and acceleration. He's improved as downhill runner. Praised first-year Colts runningbacks coach Gary Walker. Polian also said Delone Carter is a more natural downhill runner, but is showing great elusiveness. He did not show such elusiveness at Syracuse.
• Said Colts are 'much improved' running the ball on 3rd and one.
• When asked by a caller about Curtis Painter, Polian said the 12 games Curtis will play will determine his status with the Colts. Polian praised Jim Caldwell and Frank Reich for developing Painter. There was no mention of current QB coach Ron Turner.
• @LovinBlue and I found the 'Painter 12 game' comment interesting. 'i.e., PM not returning this yr.'
• Polian said the Colts should be 3-3. 'We've played well enough to win,' he said, and then went on to suggests the Colts could 'get on a roll' soon.
  

Thanks for taking the time to read our little recap. Be sure to follow us on Twitter @StampedeBlue every Monday night at 6:00 p.m. Eastern for live-tweeting of 'The Bill Polian Show.' If the Colts keep losing, I might need to drink some serious industrial-grade floor cleaner while doing these live-tweeting. This is not a task for the sober.