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Robert Mathis Wants The Colts To Sign All Available NFL Free Agents

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Colts sack master Robert Mathis is writing some wonderful stuff on Twitter. Allow us to decrypt it for you.

Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

First off, I have to beg Robert Mathis' forgiveness for not writing about his Twitter exploits last night, but I was recovering from a new, 30-minute workout routine that almost gave me a heart attack. Fortunately, Stampede Blue writer Josh Wilson caught Robert's brilliant but not-so-subtle Twitter suggestions on who the Colts should potentially target in free agency in 2013, and summarized it here.

For this write-up, we'll just present Robert's tweets and let you, the reader, make up your mind as to who he is referring to:

He then finished off his Twitter flurry with this:

So, yeah. There it is.

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OH COME ON! I can't let you guys figure this complicated Twitter stuff out on your own! I'm the head blogger. It's my job to decrypt the deliciously mad rantings of all Colts employees on Twitter.

Robert Mathis pretty obviously wants the Colts to re-sign punter Pat McAfee and keep kicker Adam Vinatieri. He also wants Ryan Grigson to open up the pocket books and ink Chief receiver Dwayne Bowe, Ravens safety Ed Reed, Patriots wide receiver Wes Welker, Rams running back Steven Jackson, and a defensive tackle that remains nameless. Oh, and he wants Dwight Freeney and Jerraud Powers re-signed.

Basically, to quote the great poet Norman Stansfield, Robert Mathis wants the Colts to sign: