If you were looking for in-depth film breakdown, or one of my opponent scouting reports, or even a Colts-centric article, you’ve arrived at the wrong article. Welcome to the weekly conspiracy report where I, Chris Shepherd, will examine nefarious plots around the league and expose them for what they are. Now sure, I won’t be able to provide you any “proof” and no, I don’t have any sources (that you know of). What follows should be treated purely as entertainment that includes plausible (and not so plausible) scenarios that no one employed by NFL teams would ever admit to and I accept no responsibility for anything you do with the information I’m about to give you. In fact I accept no responsibility for anything you’re about to read here.
In this week seven exposé of NFL conspiratorial glory, we’re going to take a look at Bill Belichick and his obvious involvement and eventual insertion by the CIA.
If you go back to the late 90’s and you look at what was happening with the New England Patriots, it goes something like this; Bill Parcells takes the Patriots to the Super Bowl in 1996 and makes the decision in the off season to leave the team to become head coach of the New York Jets. After Parcells left, the Patriots hired Pete Carroll to be the next head coach. From 1996 to 1999 Carroll went 27-24. Carroll was fired after his third year which saw the team go 8-8 and miss the playoffs for the first time in his tenure. During the 1999 off season, the Patriots hired Bill Belichick, who had recently been promoted to head coach of the New York Jets, a team he had been with as their defensive coordinator since 1997.
That should just about catch you up.
If you think that seems like a wild 5 year span, you’re right it was. The Patriots had two surefire hall of fame head coaches and three super bowl winning head coaches in that time. It was wild for sure but a lot of it doesn’t make much sense.
Why would Parcells leave after taking his team to the Super Bowl? If you listen to Parcells he’ll tell you that he was stubborn and butted heads with Robert Craft, but the thing is they were winning. We all know that winning fixes everything, and at a minimum that makes it possible to overlook a lot.
In the end, Parcells left the Pats to go coach the Jets, which makes sense because he willingly left the AFC champion for the 1-15 Jets... oh wait... that actually doesn’t make any sense at all. What coach in his right mind would do that? This just doesn’t make sense.
Why would the Pats hire a head coach in Pete Carroll, have him take them to the playoffs twice and then fire him after an 8-8 season? That seems rash, it seems unreasonable, it seems like a move the Browns would make. We’re talking about Robert Kraft, it seems obvious at this point that he wants to win, with that said he isn’t unreasonable. After all in Belichick’s first year with the Patriots he went 5-11, the teams worst record since 1993. If winning were that important to Kraft, he would have fired Belichick. Instead Carroll got the boot despite never having a losing season with the Patriots.
Why would a coach accept a head coaching job with a team that has employed him as a coordinator for the past three seasons and then resign a day later? That’s exactly what Bill Belichick did. But why? He knew the team, he had been there for three years, long enough to establish a routine and build the start of a life.
If you’ve never moved more than a few hours from where you’ve lived most of your life, there may be some things you take for granted; right now you have your favorite pizza place, you might have a place you like to get coffee, if you needed to take something to the cleaners you probably know where you would take it, maybe you have a plumber or handyman that you know and trust, you might have your favorite bar, you have “your” gas station, you have “your” grocery store, you have the place you take your car to have maintenance done. When you move hours away, you lose all of that.
Fans tend to lose sight of the fact that NFL coaches and players are people. They have their favorite places just like you and me and Bill Belichick willingly gave that up to go and coach an 8-8 team despite already being the head coach of an 8-8 team, to work for an owner who just fired a guy for going 8-8. That doesn’t make any sense at all.
So why did any of this happen?
The most likely answer seems to be something that may not be obvious to most.
Depending on who you talk to and where they happen to be located in the world, you will hear different stories about presidents and prime ministers of small, often unstable nations and how those leaders came to power. The official story, as told by the US government and US media is always that through a democratic election, a small nation has elected a new promising leader. Except if you listen to the people and media of the nations that often border these nations, they will tell you that the US government, specifically the CIA, were the ones who orchestrated the overthrow of the old government and the election of the new leader.
A prominent US politician infamously bragged about their ability to do exactly what those people all around the world have suggested. So if the CIA really does have the ability to overthrow entire governments and put leaders in place they believe will be beneficial to them in the future, do we really think they couldn’t do the same with an NFL franchise?
I know what you’re probably thinking; “Well of course they could, but why would they want to?” You mean why would they want to control an NFL franchise? There are a lot of reasons, to start, the NFL was well on its way to becoming the most popular sport in America. Having control over the most popular sport in America seems like something the CIA would be interested in, so how could they do something like that without it becoming front page news?
To start, if they wanted to have real, imperceptible, control over the NFL, they would have to create the most successful team in NFL history but they would need to strike a balance between creating a highly successful team and a team who would just win 15 championships in a row because no one is going to watch that and the CIA’s investment would be wasted.
So without making it painfully obvious and letting as few people know their plan, they would need to put a leader in place of an NFL team who had the mental makeup to sustain that type of success, someone they could trust to never give anything away to the media or anyone around him. They needed someone who they had been preparing since he was a boy, growing up a short drive from CIA headquarters in Annapolis, Maryland spending much of his youth at the United States Naval Academy. That man was Bill Belichick.
Now it seems obvious that the CIA made Bill Belichick what he is and the CIA believed they could use Bill Belichick, well hidden cheating and a seemingly unlimited “back budget” doing who knows what, behind the scenes, to create a dominant juggernaut that they could then control, or at the very least impact the outcome of nearly every NFL season for two decades, and therefore control a multi-billion dollar entity that tens of millions of Americans spend the months of September through January watching religiously week after week.
If the CIA could control the most popular sport in America in that way, the question isn’t “why would they want to do that” instead it’s “why wouldn’t they want to do that?”
And I don’t have the answer to that question.
*Once again, please note this article is purely meant for entertainment and the conversation it can create. Chris Shepherd may or may not actually believe anything above. By looking at current events through alternative viewpoints we hope to come away with a better understanding of what we’re seeing by considering something we’ve never considered. Worst case? We have a lot of fun with conspiracy theories and turn on old episodes of the X-Files while wearing our tin-foil hats.
Links to the previous weeks conspiracies: