If you were looking for in-depth film breakdown, or one of my opponent scouting reports, or even a Colts-centric article, you’ve arrived at the wrong article. Welcome to the weekly conspiracy report where I, Chris Shepherd, will examine nefarious plots around the league and expose them for what they are. Now sure, I won’t be able to provide you any “proof” and no, I don’t have any sources (that you know of). What follows should be treated purely as entertainment that includes plausible (and not so plausible) scenarios that no one employed by NFL teams would ever admit to and I accept no responsibility for anything you do with the information I’m about to give you. In fact I accept no responsibility for anything you’re about to read here.
In this week eight exposé of NFL conspiratorial glory, we’re going to take a look at Andy Reid and his obvious involvement with the mafia.
The Chiefs were an unknown coming into the year, here in Kansas City everyone was excited about the prospects of second year quarterback Patrick Mahomes but the rest of the NFL world was less sure he or the Chiefs would succeed.
Andy Reid has been around the NFL for a long, long time. Long enough to be able to recognize special ability when he sees it, and when Las Vegas set its preseason odds, they couldn’t have possibly known what Andy Reid knew. Andy Reid knew how good Mahomes was and he probably had a pretty good idea his Chiefs were going to score a lot of points. After all, Tyreek Hill, Kareem Hunt, Travis Kelce combined with what Reid was seeing from his quarterback and high scoring games must have been a given in the mind of the Chiefs head coach.
The theory goes something like this; Andy Reid, knowing he had a team that could score a lot of points was approached by leaders of an organized crime organization based in the Kansas City area. Reid may not have known who he was getting into business with in the beginning but his recent actions make it clear Andy Reid is aware of and calling games based on the over/under.
Weeks one through three no one was sure what to expect out of the Chiefs. After week one, it was impressive but it couldn’t continue, right? Week two, okay they’ve done it twice now but Mahomes can’t be this good this early, right? Week three, fine, these guys might actually be really good and all three weeks the Chiefs blew the over/under out of the water.
This brings us to week four. Each of the first three weeks the Chiefs had won convincingly and all of a sudden a Broncos team, who will probably fire their head coach soon, give the Chiefs a competitive game? Hey, any given Sunday, right? Also for the first time during the 2018 NFL season the Chiefs and their opponent failed to surpass the over/under line. But again, anything can happen.
Week five came and I believe this was a mistake that ended up being unavoidable for Andy Reid. He never could have guessed that Blake Bortles would have played as poorly as he did, nor did he know that the Jaguars defense wouldn’t fall apart for a few more weeks. Week five the Chiefs failed to surpass the over/under and if you happened to bet the over, it cost you a lot of money, especially if you believed it was a sure thing.
Week six took the Chiefs to Boston to face the Patriots and the two teams combined for 83 points, far surpassing the over/under set for the game. The Chiefs lost but it was clear they didn’t give the game away, they just got beat. But the most important thing to come from this game were the 83 points scored on prime time.
Those 83 points were enough to make the O/U line for the Chiefs week seven contest 56.5 points. Which presented an interesting opportunity for anyone who may have had access to Andy Reid, especially someone who lost a substantial amount of money in the week five disaster against the Jags.
Before week seven Andy Reid had yet to take his foot off the gas. His team scored points if possible and if you didn’t like it, tough. But with nearly five minutes remaining in the fourth quarter, leading 45 to 10, the Chiefs faced a 4th and 4 from their opponents five yard line and instead of kicking the field goal, Reid chose to call a run that had no chance to pick up a first down or score a touchdown. Why would he do that? Was he being a good sport? Maybe but that would mean it was a coincidence that the two teams had combined for 55 points and the O/U was set at 56.5, and no adult should believe in coincidence.
The only thing that makes sense is that someone is influencing Andy Reid and the only “someone” that has that kind of reach, that kind of power is the mafia.
I know I’ve given you some doozies in the past, but I don’t mention any mafioso involvement without giving the various organizations who may be involved the upmost respect. Sure, I’ll take shots at the CIA all day but one look at Luciano Leggio’s Wikipedia page and I’ll have nothing but nice things to say about anyone who happens to be from Corleone, Italy. So because we all know (after reading about their exploits) that the Italian mafia is a myth we’re left trying to figure out which group may be pulling the strings.
Is it a Mexican cartel? The Russian mafia? The Yakuza? We know no one in Italy is participating in organized crime but the American Italian mafia, maybe?
If you dig much into the various crime families around the United States you’ll find that officially the Kansas City mob isn’t active. Which is exactly what the Kansas City mob would want you to believe. Further the only people who even thought there was a chance Mahomes would be as good as he has been, live in Kansas City.
So how would Andy Reid and members of the Kansas City mob have met in the first place? I think it’s safe to assume that Andy Reid really likes Italian food and probably frequents a few different restaurants and maybe one of them happen to be operated by someone with some connections.
This is a man who enjoys too much pasta:
One thing leads to another and before he knows it, Andy Reid is feeding insider information and playing ball with the Kansas City mob in exchange for some free arancini con ragù and suddenly the mob has a new revenue stream betting (stealing, really) the over/under.
Things were going well, Reid even made sure to keep the score down in week four (probably in exchange for an insane amount of prosciutto), but then week five happened and no one, not even Reid could have predicted that. After that game things seemed to change. No one could possibly know the specifics but week seven came and Andy Reid’s actions absolutely suggest he was coaching scared. Possibly scared for his life. He needed to win, but he needed to make sure he hit the under.
To Andy Reid if you’re reading this (he’s not guys don’t worry) if you need out, we can get you and your loved ones into wittiness protection, just let us know by looking directly into the camera on Sunday and blinking, hard, three times.
*Once again, please note this article is purely meant for entertainment and the conversation it can create. Chris Shepherd may or may not actually believe anything above. By looking at current events through alternative viewpoints we hope to come away with a better understanding of what we’re seeing by considering something we’ve never considered. Worst case? We have a lot of fun with conspiracy theories and turn on old episodes of the X-Files while wearing our tin-foil hats.
Links to the previous weeks conspiracies: