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Weekly Wagers 5: this is going to be the week we get rich

Please don’t bet any money based on anything you read here.

Los Angeles Rams v Indianapolis Colts Photo by Michael Hickey/Getty Images

Sports betting is all the rage, but I’m not very good at it. This year I’m determined to figure out how to beat the odds once and for all but I’ll need a little help to make it happen.

It turns out that I happen to know a sports betting expert, he goes by Pehs online, and he’s totally not my brother. You can find him on Twitter @NeverNotNick. There are several things in this article that I don’t recommend and following him on Twitter is at the top of that list.

Pehs (pronounced like the candy) has spent years as a degenerate gambler practicing and honing his methods, and this year I’ve asked him to share what he’s learned with me and give me a few picks each week. The goal is that every week he’ll give us three picks. His Best Bet for Beginners, the You Shouldn’t Do This, But I Totally Am Bet, and the Pehs Dispenser- his lock of the week is always a sweet treat.

In order for Pehs to agree to do this, I had to agree to place a bet of his choosing on the Colts each and every week. So we’ll be keeping track of my wins and losses via the Mandatory Weekly Wager.

Week Four Recap

Let’s take a quick look at what picks Pehs gave us last week:

#1: Best Bet for Beginners- a two-game parlay of the Eagles -8 and Ravens +3. DraftKings Sportsbook gave this parlay +253 odds so a $10 bet would have paid out $35.38. But unfortunately, the Eagles let the whole team down and only won by three.

BBB Total Yearly Winnings*= $25.94 (2-2 record on the year)

#2: You Shouldn’t Do This, But I Totally Am- a two-way parlay of Bijan Robinson to score two touchdowns (+550) and Jalen Hurts to score a touchdown. Together this parlay would have given you +1091 odds from DraftKings. Pehs swung for the fences on this one. It didn’t pan out.

YSDTBITA Total Yearly Winnings*= -$40.00 (0-4 record on the year)

#3: Pehs Dispenser (lock of the week)- a three-way parlay of anytime touchdown scorers: Anthony Richardson, Josh Allen, and Daniel Jones. This one was so close to hitting as both Richardson and Allen got in the endzone but Daniel Jones... well, he didn’t get near an endzone.

Pehs Dispenser Total Yearly Winnings*= $18.01 (2-2 record on the year)

#4: My Mandatory Weekly Wager- Bet the Colts vs. Rams Under 47 points parlayed with Matthew Stafford to throw an interception. DraftKings is giving this bet +244 odds. A $2 bet would have paid out $6.88 but the Rams and Colts just kept scoring.

My Mandatory Weekly Wager Total Yearly Winnings= -$2.40 (1-3 record on the year)

*” winnings” assumes a $10 bet and the cost of the initial $10.

I’ll take the blame for the 0-4 record in week four, I told Pehs to gas up the odds, I didn’t really mean to gas them up all the way to the moon, but I can’t fault him for gassing them up.

Week 5 Best Bet for Beginners:

This week’s BBB is Buffalo Bills -5.5 over the Jacksonville Jaguars. With DraftKings giving this one -112 odds a $10 bet would pay out $18.93.

Pehs Says:

I know this is a home game for the Jaguars being overseas and they have a ton of experience there but I think the Bills will still figure out a way to win and cover. I’m still not over what the Texans did to the Jaguars a couple weeks ago.

Week 5 You Shouldn’t Do This But I Totally Am:

This week’s YSDTBITA is a three-way parlay of Jared Goff to throw for over 238.5 yards, Terry McLaurin anytime touchdown scorer and Josh Allen anytime touchdown. Estimated odds: +813 so a $10 bet would pay out an estimated $91.30.

Pehs Says:

I’m guessing the parlay odds will be +813 (line isn’t out yet). Don’t ask me questions just bet it. This is the week it hits.

Week 5 Pehs Dispenser:

In his lock of the week, Pehs is betting on a two-game parlay. Baltimore Ravens -4 and the Miami Dolphins -11. This parlay is getting +267 odds at DraftKings so a $10 bet pays out $36.70.

Pehs Says:

Normally big lines scare me in the NFL but the Dolphins are happy to blow a team out.

Week 5 Mandatory Weekly Wager:

In agreeing to do this article Pehs wanted me to place a weekly bet and I agreed as long as it could be a bet on the Indianapolis Colts. This week’s MWW: Just bet on the Colts to win. DraftKings is giving the Colts +102 odds to win the game. So a $2 bet will pay out $4.04. I like Pehs’ optimism but this game is making me nervous. I hope he’s right.

Pehs Says:

Titans just came off their best game of the year. Henry looked like Henry and we don’t care. Colts are going to win a home game this week

That’s all for week five with Pehs, who is totally not my brother, and who actually is as good at sports betting as anyone can be, probably.

Let us know what your best bet is this week and if you beat the Pehs Dispenser, I’ll make Pehs answer for it next week.